Jason Vigo, Son of Picard

[Gagh]

Let's all stop to consider Bok's plan in 'Bloodlines'.

: Find a woman Picard had an affair with.
: Find a woman Picard had an affair with, where a baby was born around the same time.
: Find a woman Picard had an affair with, who also had an affair with somebody else at around the same time the baby was born.
: Find a woman Picard had an affair with, where a baby was born around the same time, who also had an affair with somebody else at around the same time the baby was born, and who shielded the child's existence from both men.
: Gain DNA samples from both Picard & the child's mother. Fuse DNA.
: Locate the child. Alter DNA structure, using the sample, but without altering the child in any way so it would fool Starfleet's finest Medical personnel. Do this overnight so he wouldn't be aware of it.


It's fucking genius, isn't it? How the hell did nobody think of this before???

 

[CaptainWacky]

For his revenge, Bok should have instead opened a chain of successful hotels spanning the alpha quadrant (and a few in the beta, with the possibility of opening one in the gamma in the future) and hoped that one day Picard stayed in one of them. Then, when Picard is in his bed, Bok jumps out of the wardrobe and says "I HAVE MY REVENGE!" and Picard says "huh? Oh, it's you!" and Bok says "that's right! The best revenge is LIVING WELL as you humans say! AND I LIVE VERY WELL!" and Picard says "I'm happy for you" and they have a bottle of champagne together.

 

[Gagh]

It would have been more plausible!

 

[CaptainWacky]

It was funny how they brought back a character nobody really remembered or cared about and with a different actor and everything six years later just because Patrick Stewart suggested it (according to the TNG Companion.)

 

[Gagh]

You see, a revenge story with Bok could have worked, if they didn't go a create such an INSANE storyline around it!

 

[CaptainWacky]

I'd have rather seen Armus return.

 

[Gagh]

In a hat, with metal feet?

 

[CaptainWacky]

Yes, and he's a good guy now, but at the end of the episode he makes an ambiguous statement about his motives and Riker says "so you haven't changed at all!" and beams up, leaving Armus alone again, but then Data beams down a "thank you" card and Armus smiles.

 

[Gagh]

And he's taken to only covering genetalia in black inky slime.

 

[whisky]

Why didnt he just kidnap Beverley and rape the fuck out of her with the "Gene Roddenbury writers bible description of teh ferrengies having huge cocks" ( true story), then have him say to Picard after dropping Beverleys naked and ravage body back on teh bridge.

And say "This was your fault."

 

[Gagh]

Did Gene Rodenberry write a 'Yellow Pages of Intergalactic Sexual Liaisons' as well, because that is the only thing that would have aided Bok's amazing plan!

 

[whisky]

Considering Rodenburry was once shagging his secreatary in his office, and his wife started knocking on the front door and his mistress started knocking on the back door, I'd say he probably did

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

So Captain Kirk has always been the fictional version of Roddenberry's penis?

 

[CaptainWacky]

Roddenberry's love of cocaine and sex was second only to his love of changing the future through science fiction.

 

[Gagh]

I'm surprised he came up with the 'No Zippers in the future' thing, though, especially without further explanation. Given his love for the ladies, perhaps flaps were sewn in with velcro hinges, so the Feds could shag each other in The Jeffries Tubes with the minimum of wardrobe fuss?

 

[whisky]

So Captain Kirk has always been the fictional version of Roddenberry's penis?

They didnt call him "the Rod" for nothing.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Starfleet had a "don't ask, don't tell" policy, where officers had to request a backflap for the trousers and risk outing themselves.

 

[Gagh]

Starfleet had a "don't ask, don't tell" policy, where officers had to request a backflap for the trousers and risk outing themselves.

It started getting beyond the joke when certain officers began to sew quite visible pull cords onto the top of the flaps, though.

 

[Yub]

 

[Gagh]

No that's not him. WHAT NOW? Picture of EVERYONE CALLED JASON!?!?!?!?! WELL??? DOES THAT ADDRESS BOK'S SILLY PLAN?!???!!?