CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Jimmy Dandy walked into a shop. He walked over to the counter and posed.
"JIMMY DANDY!" he said, with a smile. He held the smile and nodded.
"Can I...help you?" asked the shopkeeper.
"It's me, Jimmy Dandy!" he said.
"Do you want to buy something?" asked the shopkeeper.
"HAIR," said Jimmy Dandy. He had long hair.
"What?" asked the shopkeeper.
"I tire of these games," said Jimmy Dandy, no longer smiling. "Give me the package."
"I don't know what you mean," said the shopkeeper.
"THE PACKAGE, LAD, THE PACKAGE," said Jimmy Dandy. "Or I'll toss you off a bridge."
"Err," said the shopkeeper. "Umm," he added.
"Wait, is this Russia?" asked Jimmy Dandy. "ODD CATS!"
"Do you want me to call someone?" asked the shopkeeper. Jimmy reached over the counter without warning and grabbed the shopkeeper by the lapels.
"I HAVE YOUR LAPELS," he said. The shopkeeper struggled. Jimmy tried to pull him over the counter. The shopkeeper swung his fist wildly, but Jimmy ducked and ended up holding him around the neck in some kind of sleeperhold.
"Fuck, let go...fuck...GOD!" said the shopkeeper. Jimmy squeezed and squeezed. The shopkeeper struggled desperately. Jimmy playfully twisted and twisted at his neck. There was a snap. He squeezed more and more.
"NOT...LIBBY'S...BOAT..." he said. He let go as the shopkeeper slumped to the floor. "Penny's!" he corrected himself. He skipped out of the shop.
The shopkeeper left a wife and four children. Jimmy Dandy was never found.
"JIMMY DANDY!" he said, with a smile. He held the smile and nodded.
"Can I...help you?" asked the shopkeeper.
"It's me, Jimmy Dandy!" he said.
"Do you want to buy something?" asked the shopkeeper.
"HAIR," said Jimmy Dandy. He had long hair.
"What?" asked the shopkeeper.
"I tire of these games," said Jimmy Dandy, no longer smiling. "Give me the package."
"I don't know what you mean," said the shopkeeper.
"THE PACKAGE, LAD, THE PACKAGE," said Jimmy Dandy. "Or I'll toss you off a bridge."
"Err," said the shopkeeper. "Umm," he added.
"Wait, is this Russia?" asked Jimmy Dandy. "ODD CATS!"
"Do you want me to call someone?" asked the shopkeeper. Jimmy reached over the counter without warning and grabbed the shopkeeper by the lapels.
"I HAVE YOUR LAPELS," he said. The shopkeeper struggled. Jimmy tried to pull him over the counter. The shopkeeper swung his fist wildly, but Jimmy ducked and ended up holding him around the neck in some kind of sleeperhold.
"Fuck, let go...fuck...GOD!" said the shopkeeper. Jimmy squeezed and squeezed. The shopkeeper struggled desperately. Jimmy playfully twisted and twisted at his neck. There was a snap. He squeezed more and more.
"NOT...LIBBY'S...BOAT..." he said. He let go as the shopkeeper slumped to the floor. "Penny's!" he corrected himself. He skipped out of the shop.
The shopkeeper left a wife and four children. Jimmy Dandy was never found.
