CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Johnny Nose crucified himself.
He died.
The end.
He died.
The end.
Johnny Nose Easter Special
- Thread starter CaptainWacky
- Start date
The Tomtrek
Love Wookiee
OR IS IT?
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Johnny Nose woke from the DREAM he'd just had.
"Hah, of course it was a dream!" he said. "How could I crucify myself? I wouldn't be able to hammer in the last nail!" He was very proud of this line.
It was too bad there was no one around to hear it.
"Hah, of course it was a dream!" he said. "How could I crucify myself? I wouldn't be able to hammer in the last nail!" He was very proud of this line.
It was too bad there was no one around to hear it.
The Tomtrek
Love Wookiee
OR WAS THERE?
Eggs Mayonnaise
All In With The Nuts
SEPH was there to help with the last nail.
Loktar
Pinata Whacker
And shatter his patella.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"BLESS ME FATHER FOR I HAVE SINNED!" shouted Johnny Nose. "It's been nineteen years since my last confession. And that was to a cat."
"What is troubling you?" asked the priest.
"LIFE!" said Johnny Nose.
"In what way, my son?"
"You're my father? That explains a lot!"
"No...are you just messing me around here?"
"Messing you around? Priests don't talk like that! You're a paedo in disguise!"
"Look, I can throw you out of here. I might be a priest, but if you're not taking this seriously..."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. This is real. I've...I've been having dark thoughts."
"Could you describe these thoughts?"
"I want to kill children."
"Oh..."
"And puppies. But not kittens! I love kittens."
"That's quite specific."
"I killed a homeless person once. You can't tell the police, right?"
"If I think you're a threat to others..."
"Haha, only joking! I don't REALLY want to kill children. Just kick them. And dogs? I'd just pretend to throw a ball for them but not REALLY throw it."
"I think you're still telling lies."
"Okay, look, the real reason? I stole some easter eggs from children. They had left them on a table in their garden, I jumped the hedge, grabbed the eggs and was gone. I watch them looking confused when they came out. i didn't even feel bad. I liked it. What do you think of that?"
"That's pretty pathetic."
"Hey! Are you a priest or not?"
"What do you want from me? To absolve you of the guilt you say you don't feel?"
"I just wanted to tell someone."
"To brag?"
"Well...yeah. Stupid kids! Fuck them! AND FUCK YOU, PRIESTY!" Johnny jumped out of the confessional. "Now I'm going to find out who you REALLY are!" He jumped into the priest's side of the confessional. The priest shoved him out.
"You have no respect for anything," he said.
"JESUS WAS A RAPIST," said Johnny Nose and ran off into the night. He laughed as he did. He only started crying when he got back to his bed.
"What is troubling you?" asked the priest.
"LIFE!" said Johnny Nose.
"In what way, my son?"
"You're my father? That explains a lot!"
"No...are you just messing me around here?"
"Messing you around? Priests don't talk like that! You're a paedo in disguise!"
"Look, I can throw you out of here. I might be a priest, but if you're not taking this seriously..."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. This is real. I've...I've been having dark thoughts."
"Could you describe these thoughts?"
"I want to kill children."
"Oh..."
"And puppies. But not kittens! I love kittens."
"That's quite specific."
"I killed a homeless person once. You can't tell the police, right?"
"If I think you're a threat to others..."
"Haha, only joking! I don't REALLY want to kill children. Just kick them. And dogs? I'd just pretend to throw a ball for them but not REALLY throw it."
"I think you're still telling lies."
"Okay, look, the real reason? I stole some easter eggs from children. They had left them on a table in their garden, I jumped the hedge, grabbed the eggs and was gone. I watch them looking confused when they came out. i didn't even feel bad. I liked it. What do you think of that?"
"That's pretty pathetic."
"Hey! Are you a priest or not?"
"What do you want from me? To absolve you of the guilt you say you don't feel?"
"I just wanted to tell someone."
"To brag?"
"Well...yeah. Stupid kids! Fuck them! AND FUCK YOU, PRIESTY!" Johnny jumped out of the confessional. "Now I'm going to find out who you REALLY are!" He jumped into the priest's side of the confessional. The priest shoved him out.
"You have no respect for anything," he said.
"JESUS WAS A RAPIST," said Johnny Nose and ran off into the night. He laughed as he did. He only started crying when he got back to his bed.