CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Johnny Nose spotted some students. He had been hanging around the university for a while, in the Batman costume he had stolen from the costume store. He wondered if he could melt into their group, go with them to whatever party he was heading too. He decided to try. He walked right up to them and beside them. A girl dressed as Princess Leia looked at him.
"Excuse me, do we know you?" she asked.
"Yes, I'm Billy," he said, smiling.
"Billy?" she asked. The others were looking now. Some were male. The one dressed as Bart Simpson was pretty big.
"Yeah," said Johnny. "I'm Billy..."
"Billy who?" she asked.
"BILLY BULLSHINE!" said Johnny, and he turned and ran away laughing. He did not look back. He would do something else instead. He'd throw himself in front of a car. He hadn't done that for a while.
As he was looking around for a car, he spotted another group of students. Maybe he'd try it again instead. He walked over to them confidently.
"HI, I'M THE GODDAMN BATMAN," he said. It was then that he realised it was the same group as before.
"He's a nutter!" said the Princess Leia.
"What the fuck you doing, man?" asked Bart Simpson.
"RAISING PIEGEONS," said Johnny. He turned to run again, but this time they had circled around him. He wasn't as fast or as alert as he used to be. Plus he'd also stolen some vodka earlier and was pretty drunken.
"Are you a pervert or something?" asked a girl dressed as a cat.
"Are you a dog?" he asked.
"He's muntered," said a guy dressed as a vampire.
"I'm CUNTERED!" said Johnny. He tried to push past the vampire, but the vampire and Bart both grabbed a hol of him.
"What are we going to do?" asked Leia.
"I'm disabled!" said Johnny. "I have SPASTIC BRAIN DISORDER. NIPPLES." He wondered if he should be panicking. He never used to get caught. But then, he used to feel things. He didn't feel things anymore.
"Let's just leave him," said the cat. "We could call the police from Gaz's house, let them know there's a nutter around."
"You're so nice," sad Johnny. "I'd expose myself to you if it was easy to do so in this costume."
"WHAT!" she said. Bart and the vampire held onto him tight now.
"I thought you were going to leave me..." said Johnny, sadly.
"There's something wrong with you," said Bart.
"Yeah," said Johnny. "MY HEAD HURTS." And he headbutted Bart. It took everyone by surprised, Johnny not the least of all. His head was spinning after it, but the vampire had let him go and was checking on Bart. Johnny did the thing he knew how to do. He ran. He ran straight across the rode and jumped a fence. He got stuck at the top, but after a struggle he fell to the other side, tearing his tights. He could see the students looking over. The cat was on her phone, calling the police. Bart and the vampire were coming for him. He didn't have much time.
But his tights had ripped in the perfect place.
"Hey Cat!" he shouted, pulling his cock out. "Get a load of my BATCOCK!"
"Excuse me, do we know you?" she asked.
"Yes, I'm Billy," he said, smiling.
"Billy?" she asked. The others were looking now. Some were male. The one dressed as Bart Simpson was pretty big.
"Yeah," said Johnny. "I'm Billy..."
"Billy who?" she asked.
"BILLY BULLSHINE!" said Johnny, and he turned and ran away laughing. He did not look back. He would do something else instead. He'd throw himself in front of a car. He hadn't done that for a while.
As he was looking around for a car, he spotted another group of students. Maybe he'd try it again instead. He walked over to them confidently.
"HI, I'M THE GODDAMN BATMAN," he said. It was then that he realised it was the same group as before.
"He's a nutter!" said the Princess Leia.
"What the fuck you doing, man?" asked Bart Simpson.
"RAISING PIEGEONS," said Johnny. He turned to run again, but this time they had circled around him. He wasn't as fast or as alert as he used to be. Plus he'd also stolen some vodka earlier and was pretty drunken.
"Are you a pervert or something?" asked a girl dressed as a cat.
"Are you a dog?" he asked.
"He's muntered," said a guy dressed as a vampire.
"I'm CUNTERED!" said Johnny. He tried to push past the vampire, but the vampire and Bart both grabbed a hol of him.
"What are we going to do?" asked Leia.
"I'm disabled!" said Johnny. "I have SPASTIC BRAIN DISORDER. NIPPLES." He wondered if he should be panicking. He never used to get caught. But then, he used to feel things. He didn't feel things anymore.
"Let's just leave him," said the cat. "We could call the police from Gaz's house, let them know there's a nutter around."
"You're so nice," sad Johnny. "I'd expose myself to you if it was easy to do so in this costume."
"WHAT!" she said. Bart and the vampire held onto him tight now.
"I thought you were going to leave me..." said Johnny, sadly.
"There's something wrong with you," said Bart.
"Yeah," said Johnny. "MY HEAD HURTS." And he headbutted Bart. It took everyone by surprised, Johnny not the least of all. His head was spinning after it, but the vampire had let him go and was checking on Bart. Johnny did the thing he knew how to do. He ran. He ran straight across the rode and jumped a fence. He got stuck at the top, but after a struggle he fell to the other side, tearing his tights. He could see the students looking over. The cat was on her phone, calling the police. Bart and the vampire were coming for him. He didn't have much time.
But his tights had ripped in the perfect place.
"Hey Cat!" he shouted, pulling his cock out. "Get a load of my BATCOCK!"
