Lots of things about Katy Perry make my dick hard.
It sure in the hell ain't her singing skill. Why, she's as good a singer as Shakira.
I have this other theory that Katy Perry is the evil sexy doppleganger of Zoe Dechanel. Or at least her hot to party twin sister. Anybody ever notice that? I have the kind of luck where I'd meet Zoe first.
Here's us hanging out at some bullshit poetry read coffee shop thing -
Me - "So Zoe, are we going to meet up with your sister at the club later?"
Zoe - "No silly, why do you ask? Wow, that last poem was really great. Did you know I sing ballads?"
Me - "Fuck. God hates me and I hate god."