KILL KILL AND KILLL

[curiousa2z]

so it's bloody cold. so I decide, well, a cheery fire will at least look nice (of course in this old house it just sucks the warmth up the chimney, but it's the principal). So i truck outside in the FRELLING FRIGID AIR and collect some firewood, start a lovely glowing fire, and settle down with my tea and a book.
I realise something is amiss shortly as the room begins to fill with swirling smoke. But before i can think WTF, two of the smoke alarms go off (at least we know THEY work). After I run back from fanning them til they stop their ear-piercing cacaphony, I see the room is FILLED with fucking smoke! FUCKING FUCK! Those goddamned starlings built another nest on the top of the chimney! The last time they did it it cost me $200 to have the chimney sweep come and clear it out!
Next spring, I shoot them!

 

[curiousa2z]

p.s.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH!

 

[Tisiphone]

DEATH TO THE STARLINGS

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Thanks to ELF AND SAFETY laws from BRUSSELS we're not allowed to use our chimneys anymore incase DISEASE RIDDEN, BENEFIT THIEVING GYPSY MUSLIM IMMIGRANTS complain!!

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

lol cacophony

 

[CaptainWacky]

Someone tell Cacophony I started Hufflepuff up again.

 

[Cassie]

SILLY BIRDS.

 

[curiousa2z]

Lets put 'em in a pie!

 

[curiousa2z]

I had to open the windows [letting MORE cold in] and it still smells like a campfire pit!

 

[Dr Dave]

You should get a really big knife and threaten them with it.

 

[curiousa2z]

But as they are way up on the roof they would likely not care.

 

[curiousa2z]

btw, where IS cacaphony these days????!!!

 

[Dr Dave]

But as they are way up on the roof they would likely not care.

Might suggest a machine gun?

 

[curiousa2z]

I cannot get one here in Canada.

 

[Dr Dave]

We have them here in America, you are welcome to one if you wish.