List of things Headvoid wouldn't do for Jeremy Clarkson

[CaptainWacky]

1) NOTHING.

(He'd do anything for Jeremy Clarkson.)

 

[Cassie]

He'd even polish his knobs.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

!

Knobs are fun. Sometimes one could even call them BRASSY.

(Disclaimer: This survey does not include a sampling of Clarkson Knobs. Your mileage may vary.)

 

[Dr Dave]

Will he explain to me who Jeremy Clarkson is?

 

[Fuddlemiff]

This list also applies to BDM, who once saw Jeremy Clarkson driving out of the Fox Studios hurling abuse at immigrants, as Rupert Murdoch looked on wistfully, "ah to be young".

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

...and as Rupert Everett, riding in Murdoch's sidecar, also wistfully remarked, "Ah, to look like a human being again."

 

[CaptainWacky]

Headvoid pretended to be friends with Richard "The Hamster" Hammond (he's not even a real hamster) just to get closer to Clarkson. He vomited blood into his Morrison's carrier bag at the end of every day.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

He's not even a real hamster, Stu!

 

[CaptainWacky]

Headvoid said something controversial about French Muslims to distract attention away from Clarkson's "they should all be fed to sharks. Then the sharks should be killed too because I hate animals" comment.