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Make up lies about Britney Spears

She likes to teach children how to read.
 
britney composed "La Boheme" and is the inspiration for the title role in "Phantom of the Opera".
 
Britney Spears will soon reveal that the real father of her kids is David Ogden Stiers.
 
She has the magical ability to bring ISHCABITTLE back to the MF!!!! WHERE HE BELONGS!
 
Britney set to remake her signature tune, "Oops i did it again"

to be renamed...

"Oomps i did it again (and again)...Oompsa Loompsa doom-psa-dee-do!!"
 
There's a secret American Idol tape of her auditioning for the show and losing.
 
Britney ate all the wallpaper in her house "just to be sure K-Fed didn't write any lies about me on it in invisible ink."
 
She talks to the toilet every night before bed.
 
She feeds beefburgers to swans.
 
She's really three ducks in a human costume.
 
She never did child porn.
 
She lives in your afro.
 
She finds that fat giraffee image HILARIOUS.
 
She liked to ride it around
 
Britney Spears secret CUM PIG video soon to be released in Japan. Apparently Brits got intoxicated at a bar whilst vacationing in Japan, passed out, was taken to a back room, strapped to a sling & ravaged by a bar full of drunken man-chinks! Kevin Federline was there with her & just happened to have his camcorder handy (battery fully charged). When questioned, KF stated "i just wanted to have evidence for the trial, the tape was later stolen...ain't that fucked up dog??".

Video to be titled..."Oink, Oink, we shot loads in piggies luv hole again".
 
She has toasters for feet.
 
She's part of The Ranter invasion.
 
She was born without kidneys but nobody noticed until she was 18.
 
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