Make up more crappy new episodes of The Simpsons

[CaptainWacky]

The Simpsons has now been crap for more years than it's been good. Celebrate by making up more crappy episodes.

- When Justin Bieber is in town, Lisa can "Belieb" (believe) the fuss being made over him. But will the Canadian pop star teach her a valuable lesson about tolerance? Meanwhile Homer buys a car from Moe...but it doesn't come with wheels!

- When Bart's new girlfriend (special guest star Jennifer Lawrence) invites him to rob a bank with her, Bart is conflicted! Meanwhile Homer forgets Maggie's name and starts calling her "Maddie."

- Sideshow Bob is BACK...and he's in love with Marge!? Will Bart prove that Bob is up to no good? Or has he really turned over a new leaf? Featuring a musical number for no reason.

- Remmeber those gay characters from a few seaons ago? They're back! And they need Homer to dress up a a woman to fool their parents! Why can't they ask a real woman? Who cares, it's funny! Right?

- When special guest star Clint Eastwood asks Mister Burns to be his running mate, Springfield's oldest resident thinks it will be "excellent"...but hasn't counted an Smithers' jealousy! And Homer's in charge at the power plant during Burns' absence...and turns the place into a seventies themed disco!

- Marge gets a job as a dentist. Can she overcome her fear of teeth? And Homer obnoxiously yells at everyone for the entire episode.

- Lisa has invented a new feminist video game and it's a big hit...with COMIC BOOK GUY who thinks it's an ironic commentary! Will Lisa sacrifice her ideals for the allmighty dollar? And will Homer find his lost keys!? Featuring the guest faces of Michael Fassbender, Angela Lansbury and Chuck Norris for some reason.

 

[FBI parte due]

Moe the Bartender attempts suicide and ends up in a coma. Everyone in town wonders: why did he do it? Did I help drive him to it?

Meanwhile, Homer tries to make money by teaching Krusty's monkey the Harlem Shake.

 

[CaptainWacky]

- Homer sets up a tumblr account and becomes a hit with his "pie of the day" blogs. His Kickstarter to raise money to produce a series of "History of the Pie" vidoes makes two million dollars in one day and Lisa wonders how he could possibly spend all that money. "On pies!" he answers.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

- Marge takes up woodwork and grabs the attention of celebrity woodworker George Clooney. Reverend Lovejoy is embroiled in the paedophile preists scandal... With hilarious results!

- When Homer's Facepage account is unfairly shut down "how the hell does my name sound like that of a fictional character?!", he sets up a rival website, incurring the ire of Zarek Muckerberg and his army of blue hoodie wearing ninjas. Martin Freeman is somehow worked into the plot.

- Fear of Flying II. The Simpsons greatest moment of genius is trampled over like a cheap rug (as opposed to a rich tapestry). When Marge's fear of flying returns she goes back to Dr Weig, while Homer re-explores his lesbian side.

 

[CaptainWacky]

(Facepage is the kind of terrible pardoy name they would use now. Like how they "parody" Apple by calling it "Mapple". ONE LETTER DOESN'T MAKE A PARODY.)

- Bart and Milhouse pose as Mexican midget wrestlers to fool Ralph for some reason...and end up huge stars in Mexico! Featuring Jack Black voicing whatever character he played in that awful movie about Mexican wrestling he did. And Lisa gets her first peroid.

- When Twilight stars Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattison are in town, everyone must decide if they are Team Jacob or Team Edward! But with Lenny and Karl on opposing sides will their firendship ever be the same again? Yes, as the entire plotline is dropped twelve minutes in and suddenly the episode is about Homer's new career as a robot tester.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

- Marge jumps in as compere at Springfield Elementary's charity auction and catches the eye of a sleazy agent. Quickly becoming a daytime tv show host whose fame eclipses even that of guest star Opera's, Marge must decide which is more important; fame and money, or her family. Lord Sebastian Coe also guest stars.

- In unrelated incidences, Bart destroys the family home and Homer destroys the power plant. Together they invent a convoluted story which absolves them both of respective responsibility, but they don't reckon on Rod and Todd overhearing their plans. The girl that played Alex Mack guest stars.

- In a topical story, the family become inspired by guest star Mitt Romney to become Mormons. Features 152 references to the underwear.

 

[CaptainWacky]

- Homer starts eating horse meat in a "clever" swipe at "Brits". But when he eats the pony Lisa owned for a few minutes in that one episode, will his daughter ever forgive him? And Bart falls in the shower and discovers he has brittle bones. Featuring Simon Cowell again because we think he's still relevant.

- In a special episode written by Ricky Gervais again, a character who everyone finds really obnoxious (voiced by Gervais) is ACTUALLY a genius and he only says stupidly offensive ignorant things to make YOU confront YOUR OWN prejudices and who's the REAL racist here!? Featuring the guest voices of Karl Pilkington as Moe's cousin but all his lines are scripted by Gervais and therefore not funny and Warwick Davis as a midget posing as an elemntary school student for no adequately explained reason.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

In the stirring series finale, Tracey Ullman returns to Springfield with a signed deed from 1987: apparently she owns the entire Simpsonsverse after all. Declaring that the revenues from 500 episodes and merchandising are more than enough to keep her in rubber face prosthetics for 3 lifetimes, she hops into a huge tank armed with a Toon-Town Dip™ cannon, and erases Springfield and all its inhabitants from existence. Seth Macfarlane sends her a congratulatory wreath made of tampons.

 

[CaptainWacky]

- "I'll Be Bart" with guest voice Arnold Schwarzenegger. No plot yet but we'll throw some crap tother at the last minute.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

The entire 29th season:

The cast of (insert old TV show here) reunites at a (insert genre here) convention, and they get tangled up in a misadventure with (insert Simpson family member here). Special guest star Harry Anderson as the crusty but aloof night court judge.

 

[CaptainWacky]

- Bart becomes addicted to the internet after he begins to feel that his real friends like Milhouse just don't "get him" anymore. He begins posting on a message board known as the Meep Field and makes many new friends, though constantly has to disguise his real feelings by making so many jokes that his new friends can't tell when he's being serious or not. Bart eventually can't even express himself there and several of his message board friends leave due to real life or what can only be described as a psychological block on posting on the board. Now fourteen and confused by his devloping sexual feelings he rashly begins visiting sex chats and a mysterious older man asks to meet up with him. Turning to his online friends to ask if he shoudl meet up with the man, they assume he's joking and advise him to "go for it!" Bart, perhaps knowing inside that what he is about to do is wrong, tries to reach out to Homer for help, but Homer has a new job as a pimp and is more conerned with "keeping his bitches in line" and brushes Bart off. Marge's gambling addiction has spun out of control and she's sleeping with Mister burns to pay off her debt to his casino and Lisa is spending her nights hanging out at jazz dens with Nelson. Bart goes to mee the mysterious man and is shocked to find that it's Reverand Lovejoy. "I feel God's hand reaching out to touch you, Bart," explains Lovejoy. "I think that's your hand, dude," says Bart, turning to run. But the door is locked. Bart is trapped. "I will pray when this ends," says Lovejoy, removing his belt, his trousers dropping to the floor. "No, please, DON'T!" says Bart, but Lovejoy pounces. Yet what he does not know is that Bart has begun carrying a knife after Milhouse was found dead in an alley (a victim of the increasingly deranged Martin Prince, but no one knows that yet.) Bart desperately thrusts the knife up into Lovejoy, stabbing him in the stomach. Lovejoy is bleeding badly. Bart bangs on the door for help and Helen Jovejoy finally opens it. "One of you finally fought back," she says, impressed. "You can go, Bart. I'll cover up his death." "But he isn't dead, lady," says Bart. Then Helen kicks the knife further into Lovejoy's stomach, and locks the door. "He will be soon," she says, lighting up her crack pipe. "Run, Bart," she says. "Run from this adult world." "I can't," says Bart, sadlly, knowing that once seen the adult world cannot be unseen. "I live here now." "Then join me in a smoke," says Helen, laughing, offering him the crack pipe. And Bart's addiction to drugs begins, even as Homer beats Apu to near death for mistreating one of his bitches, Marge gambles the house away and Lisa has her first lesbian experience...with Aunt Patty.

And Flanders gets a new car!

 

[whisky]

Homer gets the heart transplant he didnt really need, when he put his name down for one that time.

He feels revitalised and young again, but suddenly realises he no longer loves Marge.

Can he race to find his original heart, before it ends up in someone else from Springfield?

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

^ There's the second Simpsons movie.

Marge, Lois Griffin, Francine Smith and Pickles Oblong all leave their husbands and move into a house together in Florida. Homer, Peter, Stan and Bob Oblong move into Homer's home with their kids (and aliens) and start a Daddy Day Care.

It goes on like this for a while, but they're all miserable. Then the world ends.