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Make up more lies about "PC gone mad"

CaptainWacky

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
The most overused phrase in the gutter press these days is "it's PC gone mad!!!!!" Everything is blamed on Political Correctness. "I can't burn my cats anymore, IT'S PC GONE MAD!!!" There's always stories about the EU banning bananas which are WERID because i just ate a banana. SO LET'S MAKE UP SOME FAKE EXAMPLES OF PC GONE MAD THEN ALERT THE DAILY MAIL.

1) Women must now be called "the female sub-species of the human gynome" according to LEEDS CITY COUNCIL.
2) Gipsies are allowed to vote twice in national elections, once for them, once for "the ghost of their dead gran".
3) People with six fingers must be electronically tagged from birth.
 
4) Burkas may now be worn in public swimming pools.

5) Council Houses on the Housing Benefits list to be handed over, must reflect all religions. A Minaret will be built in place of a chimney.

6) Jamie Oliver is to be jailed for his crimes against Obese people in attempting to abolish them. Obese people have feelings too.
 
7) Dogs must have their eyes gouged out so they can't look up girls' skirts.
 
8) anyone who sells blinds now needs to be legally blind

9) only the scotish can sell scotch
 
10) Council refuse workers in northshire are earning £1,000,000 per hour and have bought Wales as a result.

12) Chavs given compensation by Council for neck strain caused by wearing too much jewellery - Schools fault for not melting it down and giving it to Tesco for a computer

13) Lottery grant given to Lesbian lady who likes to teach Albanian asylum seekers how to make a cup of tea.
 
14) because some birds are endagered, it is now illegal in scunthorpe to wash away any bird dropings from cars, buildings, or even people
 
15) Black people allowed to use the word "NIGGERFUCK" but white people aren't.
 
16) Condoms given to 3 year olds in "sexual orientation" class, forced by student teachers to place them on cucumbers and wave them around the room shouting "Pinch and Roll! Just Like Ashley Cole!"
 
17) Skinny women to have the legend "SKINNY BITCH WHO SHOULD EAT MORE AND IS NOT A GOOD ROLE MODEL FOR YOUNG GIRLS!" tattooed to their foreheads, if it can fit. If it can't, then they just have to hand out leaflets to fat girls in shopping centres.
 
18 ) Everyone else in the world is supposed to research and laugh at British references OR BE CAUTIONED
 
*CAUTIONED*
 
19) All potential immigrants to the UK are now required to outline the plots and characters for ALL seasons of 'Round The Twist.
In English, please.
 
20) Big Brother has been renamed "big or little or normal sized brother or sister or perphaps if not a sibling if you don't have one that's valid too!" for REASONS.
 
21) White people must be "blacked up" at all times to avoid offense caused by pallid complection.

22) Smoking banned inside public buildings, outside public buildings, in pubs, on public transport, in homes, gardens and parks. Smoking is allowed in hospitals in respect of those undergoing stress from dying relatives. All non-smokers are advised to avoid hospitals where possible, or to book fatal accidents ahead.
 
23) Copies of the Koran must be placed outside all places of Worship, translated into at least 8 languages, including Klingon.

24) Postman Pat will now be renamed Postperson Patel, and Jess will be referred to as a 'Non-specific carbon-based quadruped'.

25) George Galloway is to be named as British Ambassador to Islam.
 
26) Free money to be handed out at immegration to anyone from other countries who want to come and sponge off us
 
They're not sponging, they're redistributing wealth!
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27) Gipsies granted the right to spit on people on the street, but anyone who spits back must have written permission from Frank Bruno.
 
28) foreingers that rape british women to be allowed to get away with it if they say they thought thats what white women did because they have watched porn, even if their culture and religion strictly forbids watching porn
 
29) All blind people to be given penis enlargement surgery because "if we can't cure their blindness, at least we can make the blindies feel better about themselves by giving them huge knobs to feel. Even the girls!"
 
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