Make up more lies about the McCanns thread

[CaptainWacky]

None of us REALLY know what exactly happened to disappearing child Madeline McCann but that hasn't stopped the press making up more and more lies every day (then a week later reavealing that, yes, their last lie wasn't a lie at all!)

1) Madeline McCann is actually alive and well and living in the family's attic. They just pretended she was abducted "for a laugh". She's very happy up there and "has Sky and everything."

2) The McCanns never actually had a daughter named Madeline. All the pictures of her were photoshopped. They just pretended they had a four year old daugther who had been abducted "for a laugh".

3) Kate McCann has many duals usernames all over the internet and is attempt to propagate the rumour that "Kate McCann is a MILF".

4) The Portugeese police (*spits*) phoned up Gerry's parents and said "YOUR SON I A RACIST!" then hung up, giggling like schoolchildren.

5) The Portugeese police (*spits*) spend all their time playing Mario Kart when they should be looking for Madeline in every penthouse, outhouse and henhouse in Spain!

 

[Cassie]

6) She was eaten by a dingo.

7) Kate McCann sold Madeline to some anal probing aliens.

8) Madeline lives in TK's basement.

 

[Gagh]

9) The McCanns are related to the Lockerbie bomber.

10) Kate McCann conceived Madelaine in Hades

11) The McCanns tried to sabotage the Christmas day armistace in The Somme during WW1.

 

[CaptainWacky]

12) Kate and Gerry will appear on I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here this year "just in case Maddy shows up in the Australian outback!"

 

[whisky]

13) Kate and Gerry actually left Madaline home alone, so she would be able to defeat any robbers from their expensive two doctor salery home, but when they returned she had starved to death.

 

[The Tomtrek]

14) Madaline was, unknown to her parents, very good at video games. While on holiday she got the high score in the game Starfighter and was taken away to fight the evil Kodan fleet.

 

[curiousa2z]

^OMG! Yer supposed to make up lies!


*hopes no Kodans are reading this*

 

[CaptainWacky]

15) Gerry McCann will only perform heart surgery on young, female patients because he "likes feeling up their young supple hearts then fucking the incision like crazy until nurses pull him off the bastard."

 

[whisky]

16) Gerry McCann was once a minder for Arthur Daley.

 

[CaptainWacky]

17) Gypsies actually DID plan to kidnap little Madeline, and even broke into the room to take her, but when they saw her up close the lead gypsy said "forget it! She's far too cute for us to be able to pass her off as a gypsy kid!" They saw a MYSTERIOUS MASKED MAN enter the room as they left.

18) Gerry and Kate rented Ghostbusters 2 from the video shop in 1996, but their video player chewed the tape up. They lied and told the rental guy that it was "like that when we got it."

 

[headvoid]

19) Kate McCann force puts crack cocaine in the communion wine at her local church

20) Gerry and Kate stopped England winning the Rugby World Cup

 

[whisky]

21) Gerry and Kate made Louise Hamilton so nervous for the last two races that he completely bottled it both times.

22) The police actually found Maddy the next day, but both the parents and the cops liked the publicity so much, they hid her again.

 

[headvoid]

23) Gerry is annoyed he can't go fox hunting anymore.

 

[CaptainWacky]

24) Kate McCann claims to be the inspiration for Kate from Lost.

 

[Cassie]

25) Gerry McCann had a torrid affair with Dumbledore.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

26) Chuck McCann predicted all these events, and spoke of them in coded messages implanted into his scripted dialog in the hilarious Tim Comway straight-to-video release Dorf Da Bingo King.

 

[whisky]

27) Gerry McCann only killed his daughter in another country, because he didnt want police to see his Fred West style collection of corpses under his patio at home.

 

[Cassie]

28) It was all a dream.

 

[headvoid]

21) Gerry and Kate are soon to front a new campaign by Nestle to get African women to feed their children milk formula. The campaign is to be called "White folk don't breast feed - why are you ignorant black people doing it?"

22) Gay Ark Rented is an anagram of Gerry and Kate - I don't need to say any more do I?

23) Gerry and Kate enjoy farting when being interviewed knowing that reporters can't possibly comment.

 

[CaptainWacky]

24) Little Maddy actually fell into a hole in space and time like Molly O'Brien in that DS9 episode. She woke up in England, thirty years in the past, with no memory but one thing, the name of her mother "Kate". A couple found her and asked who she was but all she could say was "Kate". She grew up, met Gerry who she found "strangely familiar" married him and gave birth do a daughter named Madeline...HERSELF!