Maxim's Hot 100 (annotated)

[CaptainWacky]

Yes it's top 100 season! Just weeks after http://www.trollkingdom.net/forum/m...d-version-7-0-november-2007-april-2011-a.html comes THIS MESS...

100. Melanie Iglesias
99. Candace Bailey
98. Camilla Belle
97. Hope Dworaczyk
96. Sophie Monk
95. Serinda Swan
94. Alessandra Torresani
93. Kelli Hutcherson
92. Nicky Whelan
91. Erin Andrews
90. Lauren Storm
89. Lyndsy Fonseca
88. Daniela Ruah
87. Emmanuelle Vaugier
86. Autumn Reeser
85. Rachelle Leah
84. Paz De la Huerta
83. Carly Craig
82. Kelly Kelly
81. Gabrielle Union
80. Danica McKellar
79. Mini Anden
78. JWOWW
77. Anna Chapman
76. Diora Baird
75. Nicki Minaj
74. Laura Vandervoort
73. Jamie Chung
72. Stacy Keibler
71. Taylor Cole
70. Arianny Celeste
69. Emma Watson
68. Anna Paquin
67. Ciara
66. Aly Michalka
65. Elisha Cuthbert
64. Miley Cyrus
63. Ana De la Reguera
62. Whitney Port
61. Eva Amurri
60. Kelly Brook
59. Grace Park
58. Christina Aguilera
57. Audrina Patridge
56. Christina Hendricks
55. Joanna Krupa
54. Vanessa Hudgens
53. Ashley Greene
52. Minka Kelly
51. Nicole Scherzinger
50. Selita Ebanks
49. Alison Brie
48. Julianne Hough
47. Odette Annable
46. Beau Garrett
45. Emmanuelle Chriqui
44. Anna Faris
43. Naya Rivera
42. Emma Stone
41. Jaimie Alexander
40. Hilary Duff
39. Rebecca Mader
38. Lindsay Lohan
37. Zoe Saldana
36. Brooklyn Decker
35. Kim Kardashian
34. Avril Lavigne
33. Dania Ramirez
32. Emmy Rossum
31. Evan Rachel Wood
30. Amanda Bynes
29. Sofia Vergara
28. Lea Michele
27. Michelle Trachtenberg
26. Kate Middleton
25. Britney Spears
24. Sarah Shahi
23. Brittany Snow
22. Rihanna
21. Jessica Alba
20. Taylor Swift
19. Anna Kournikova
18. Eva Mendes
17. Megan Fox
16. Leighton Meester
15. Olivia Wilde
14. Scarlett Johansson
13. Kaley Cuoco
12. January Jones
11. Jordana Brewster
10. Jennifer Lawrence
9. Cobie Smulders
8. Natalie Portman
7. Anne Hathaway
6. Bar Refaeli
5. Mila Kunis
4. Cameron Diaz
3. Katy Perry
2. Olivia Munn
1. Rosie Huntington Whiteley

 

[CaptainWacky]

100. Melanie Iglesias
99. Candace Bailey
98. Camilla Belle - I think she might be hot?
97. Hope Dworaczyk
96. Sophie Monk
95. Serinda Swan - I remember she was in Smallville once. That's it.
94. Alessandra Torresani - I like her! BUT WHERE'S MAGDA?
93. Kelli Hutcherson
92. Nicky Whelan - PEPPER FROM NEIGHBOURS. Now a generic blond in Americaland?
91. Erin Andrews
90. Lauren Storm
89. Lyndsy Fonseca
88. Daniela Ruah
87. Emmanuelle Vaugier
86. Autumn Reeser
85. Rachelle Leah
84. Paz De la Huerta
83. Carly Craig
82. Kelly Kelly
81. Gabrielle Union
80. Danica McKellar
79. Mini Anden
78. JWOWW - Seriously, how is that even a name? Way too many people I don't know.
77. Anna Chapman
76. Diora Baird
75. Nicki Minaj
74. Laura Vandervoort - I like her.
73. Jamie Chung
72. Stacy Keibler - Is she still around? She was hot a while ago.
71. Taylor Cole
70. Arianny Celeste
69. Emma Watson - Nice.
68. Anna Paquin - Meh.
67. Ciara
66. Aly Michalka
65. Elisha Cuthbert
64. Miley Cyrus _ FUCK OFF.
63. Ana De la Reguera
62. Whitney Port
61. Eva Amurri
60. Kelly Brook - FOR GAGHDASSIA.
59. Grace Park - Her body is just not attractive.
58. Christina Aguilera - Meh? Still around?
57. Audrina Patridge
56. Christina Hendricks - She's not as hot as SOME PEOPLE say but she is hot so yes.
55. Joanna Krupa
54. Vanessa Hudgens
53. Ashley Greene
52. Minka Kelly
51. Nicole Scherzinger
50. Selita Ebanks
49. Alison Brie - YES. Should be higher.
48. Julianne Hough
47. Odette Annable
46. Beau Garrett
45. Emmanuelle Chriqui
44. Anna Faris
43. Naya Rivera
42. Emma Stone - FOR GAGHDASSIA or something?
41. Jaimie Alexander
40. Hilary Duff - Meh.
39. Rebecca Mader - Okay so this is where the list starts looking REALLY SUSPICIOUS. Because I remember her getting a really high ranking on one of these lists before. Even though she was like the fifth hottest girl on Lost. And really would enough people even remember her to get her on the list, let alone this high? It's a fix. She has a good agent.
38. Lindsay Lohan - FUCK OFF SHIT FUCK.
37. Zoe Saldana - Too thin but she's nice.
36. Brooklyn Decker
35. Kim Kardashian - FUCK OFF SHIT FUCK.
34. Avril Lavigne - That's more like it!
33. Dania Ramirez
32. Emmy Rossum - Nice jew I think.
31. Evan Rachel Wood - YES. GOOD.
30. Amanda Bynes
29. Sofia Vergara
28. Lea Michele
27. Michelle Trachtenberg - I guess appearing Maxim pays off, since she's never normally on these lists. BUT YES, SHE DESERVES IT OF COURSE.
26. Kate Middleton - Oh no...
25. Britney Spears - Yes it's a joke list officially.
24. Sarah Shahi - I think she's hot but I don't know who she is really.
23. Brittany Snow
22. Rihanna - What? She's just weird now.
21. Jessica Alba - Does anyone actually like her?
20. Taylor Swift - Way too fucking high.
19. Anna Kournikova
18. Eva Mendes
17. Megan Fox - NO.
16. Leighton Meester
15. Olivia Wilde - YES.
14. Scarlett Johansson - Hate to say it but maybe too high...
13. Kaley Cuoco
12. January Jones - I like her.
11. Jordana Brewster
10. Jennifer Lawrence - She doesn't look all that hot as Mystique!
9. Cobie Smulders - I know she's in The Avengers so she must be hot?
8. Natalie Portman - It's interesting that she's so high when she doesn't appear in those magazines and I doubt she'd try to get her agent to buy her a high ranking. So maybe it's not a total fix?
7. Anne Hathaway - Same as above. But really, above Natalie?
6. Bar Refaeli
5. Mila Kunis - I like her (not more than Natalie.)
4. Cameron Diaz
3. Katy Perry - Too high.
2. Olivia Munn - She's good looking and you can understand why she's so high since she does these types of magazine (bit too high.)
1. Rosie Huntington Whiteley - She is apparently the new girl from Transfromers 3. Literally no one knows who she is yet since the movie isn't out, which proves what a total farace this list is and that this commentary was a total waste of my valuable time.

 

[SaintLucifer]

Camilla Belle is at no. 98? Oh fuck off! She's hot! When I saw her for the first time when she was 12, I just KNEW she was going to hit superstardom simply thanks to her gorgeous looks.

No. 98? My fucking ass.

 

[Tisiphone]

Lohan? Really?

 

[The Tomtrek]

While the list seems to be rather biased in some areas the simple fact that they put Michelle on it at all (because she was in the magazine!) makes it better than 99% of all other magazine top 100 lists.

 

[whisky]

I'll just reduce it to those I have heard of.

86. Autumn Reeser - cute, like a 70s era Sally Fields
74. Laura Vandervoort - superhot
68. Anna Paquin
65. Elisha Cuthbert
64. Miley Cyrus
59. Grace Park
58. Christina Aguilera
54. Vanessa Hudgens
44. Anna Faris
39. Rebecca Mader
38. Lindsay Lohan
37. Zoe Saldana
35. Kim Kardashian
34. Avril Lavigne
29. Sofia Vergara - awooga!
27. Michelle Trachtenberg
26. Kate Middleton
25. Britney Spears
22. Rihanna
21. Jessica Alba
20. Taylor Swift
19. Anna Kournikova
18. Eva Mendes
17. Megan Fox
14. Scarlett Johansson
8. Natalie Portman
7. Anne Hathaway
5. Mila Kunis
4. Cameron Diaz
3. Katy Perry

Yeah, I pretty much couldnt be bothered to put comments after all of them.

 

[whisky]

Camilla Belle is at no. 98? Oh fuck off! She's hot! When I saw her for the first time when she was 12, I just KNEW she was going to hit superstardom simply thanks to her gorgeous looks

So basically you were sexually atracted to a 12 year old?

 

[Cassie]

Why is Cameron Diaz #4? She's not even in a lot of movies anymore, and she was never that hot. I do think there was a time when she was very attractive, in a weird way, but she hasn't been top 100 material for YEARS.

 

[whisky]

She looked pretty good in her bikini in Knight and Day, its practically the only bit of the film thats memorable.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Yeah I somehow blocked out Cameron Diaz when I was reading it last night because it was so ridiculous. Who would even vote for her in 2011?

 

[Tisiphone]

BLIND PEOPLE THAT'S WHO

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Lohan? Really?

They've seen her vag. That scores her points with them.

 

[headvoid]

Michelle should disown them for this ridiculous list.

I could draw a vagina on my belly, then do an interview in Maxim about how I have homosexual fantasies plus regularly think about having sex with fans. If I did that I would be about no. 45 on this list.

 

[Loktar]

Yeah I somehow blocked out Cameron Diaz when I was reading it last night because it was so ridiculous. Who would even vote for her in 2011?

I'd vote for Cameron Diaz circa 2003(?)

She looked hot in Charlie's Angels and Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle.

 

[CaptainWacky]

WHAT ABOUT LUCY LIU REMEBMER HER.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

SHE WAS FUNNY ON ALLY McBEAL SHE INSULTED MANY PEOPLE AND HAD LOTS OF SEX

 

[Robert "Monkey" Loggia]

How is Kat Dennings not on this list?

 

[Loktar]

How is Kat Dennings not on this list?

She has lopsided breasts.




(Maybe)

 

[headvoid]

Why is Farah Fawcett not on this list?

 

[Tisiphone]

I watched The Green Hornet last night, and Cameron Diaz looked like fugly shit.

As for Kat Dennings...while her boobs are motorboatable, I don't think her face is that pretty.