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Mine Field User Profiles
- Thread starter CaptainWacky
- Start date
Fuddlemiff
Is this real life?
Way to kill the thread!
And in another interesting trivia twist, she's acquired several trailers from penis parks.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Loktar: In the early seventies, a child of pure evil and rock was born. His parents named him Roktar because he was made out of rock. It was a painful delivery. Six months later the baby Roktar killed his first cat. A year after that he moved on to humans. He'd beat them to death with his rock fists. Eventually, aged three, he became dictator of a small african nation. He was eventually dispossed aged four and sent to jail "for ever" by the UN.
It was about this time that his parents gave birth to a second child, which they named Loktar for no apparent reason. Despite the baby being a perfectly normal human and showing no signs of evil (in fact he saved several other babies from a paedophile doctor four days after his bith), the Loktar baby was taken from his parents and sent to jail "for ever" for crimes he had not and would never commit. They just couldn't take the chance after what happened with Roktar.
18 years later, Loktar was finally released into the care of, ironically, Roktar, who had been released himself after only six years in jail when the UN decided they didn't care about small African nations anymore. But Roktar was still evil at heart (not that he had one, just a brick) and tried to convince Loktar to join him and together they would ruile the galaxy. The only problem with this plan, as Loktar pointed out, was that Roktar's body wasn't just made out of rocks...he had rocks for brains. He'd only become a dictator because some African crimelord needed a puppet ruler and had decided on "that american rock kid" for publicity. Loktar easily tricked Roktar into commiting suicide by throwing himself into a volcano ("you're made out of rocks, you'll be fine!") and went on to live a normal, healthy, rock free life.
Until, that is, the day he woke to found that his penis was now made of rock.
It was about this time that his parents gave birth to a second child, which they named Loktar for no apparent reason. Despite the baby being a perfectly normal human and showing no signs of evil (in fact he saved several other babies from a paedophile doctor four days after his bith), the Loktar baby was taken from his parents and sent to jail "for ever" for crimes he had not and would never commit. They just couldn't take the chance after what happened with Roktar.
18 years later, Loktar was finally released into the care of, ironically, Roktar, who had been released himself after only six years in jail when the UN decided they didn't care about small African nations anymore. But Roktar was still evil at heart (not that he had one, just a brick) and tried to convince Loktar to join him and together they would ruile the galaxy. The only problem with this plan, as Loktar pointed out, was that Roktar's body wasn't just made out of rocks...he had rocks for brains. He'd only become a dictator because some African crimelord needed a puppet ruler and had decided on "that american rock kid" for publicity. Loktar easily tricked Roktar into commiting suicide by throwing himself into a volcano ("you're made out of rocks, you'll be fine!") and went on to live a normal, healthy, rock free life.
Until, that is, the day he woke to found that his penis was now made of rock.
But how does Summer Glau and her fantastically taut buttocks figure into it?
Loktar
Internet God and Defender of Park Benches
Doubt it. He never "used to have big, strong arms".
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Headvoid: When Headvoid was but a lad living near and in Loch Ness, his best friend's father was diagnosed with DEADLY CANCER and given weeks to live ("or maybe months or possibly years, who the fuck knows, leave me alone," said the doctor, when pressed.) Heavoid, for a laugh, told his friend that an old bar of soap was actually a "cancer curing pill or some shit" that he'd stolen from a hospital for rich people. His friend, beng an idiot and desperate, believed him and offered to pay "a hundred quid, mate! ANYTHING!" for the pill. Young Heavoid had not intended to keep the charade up for long, but, now that he was offered money, he coldly replied "five hundred or your dad fucking dies." The boy stole from a local church and paid up. The next day he stuffed the bar of soap into his too-weak-to-resist father's mouth.
"IT'S BLOODY SOAP YOU STUPID FUCK," his father said, 38 seconds later and, suddenly strong again, beat the boy around the face and body with his slippers. The next day he found out that the doctor had made a mistake and that he didn't really have DEADLY CANCER after all...he was just a lazy bastard. Ironically, he then slipped on a bar of soap in the shower and broke his neck. His family coudn't afford a funeral so they just threw the body into the Loch. Headvoid's young best friend had a complete nervous breakdown and, twenty years later, still has not returned to normal society.
What Headvoid took from this whole episode was that people are stupid and will buy anything. He quickly got into the advertising business and, aged just twelve, became the most influential advertising dude in the whole of Loch Ness. Not Inverness, the actual Loch. At the age of thirteen, this was up-grading to the most successful in the WORLD.
He is responsible for such memorable campagins as McDonald's "I'm lovin' it!", Sega's "Cyber Razor Cut", that advert for video cameras that Rachel from Big Brother was in when she was a little girl, those annoying as fuck Halifax ads with Howard Fucking Brown the bastard, Viagra's "it makes your dick hard" campaign, ROBOTIC CAT KILLING DEVICE 48's campagain and, of course, the BT couple.
He strongly believes that wasps and bees are "the same thing."
"IT'S BLOODY SOAP YOU STUPID FUCK," his father said, 38 seconds later and, suddenly strong again, beat the boy around the face and body with his slippers. The next day he found out that the doctor had made a mistake and that he didn't really have DEADLY CANCER after all...he was just a lazy bastard. Ironically, he then slipped on a bar of soap in the shower and broke his neck. His family coudn't afford a funeral so they just threw the body into the Loch. Headvoid's young best friend had a complete nervous breakdown and, twenty years later, still has not returned to normal society.
What Headvoid took from this whole episode was that people are stupid and will buy anything. He quickly got into the advertising business and, aged just twelve, became the most influential advertising dude in the whole of Loch Ness. Not Inverness, the actual Loch. At the age of thirteen, this was up-grading to the most successful in the WORLD.
He is responsible for such memorable campagins as McDonald's "I'm lovin' it!", Sega's "Cyber Razor Cut", that advert for video cameras that Rachel from Big Brother was in when she was a little girl, those annoying as fuck Halifax ads with Howard Fucking Brown the bastard, Viagra's "it makes your dick hard" campaign, ROBOTIC CAT KILLING DEVICE 48's campagain and, of course, the BT couple.
He strongly believes that wasps and bees are "the same thing."
missmanners
grrrrrrrr...
I'm stealing those crows, but shhhhhhhhhh.... dont tell anyone.
:duh:
mm
:duh:
mm