Menu
What's new
Troll Kingdom

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Mine Fieldians Of The Galaxy

Mentalist

He was on his way back to the water planet in the shuttle he had stolen from the Boogie. FilthyRecWhore's big evil spaceship had ignored him. Menty felt slightly guilty about leaving the others, but really what did they expect? Everyone on the Boogie was crazy. He'd been happy on his water planet. He'd stay there until this was all over. And if the universe did end, well, he probably wouldn't even know about it.

But after a few hours of travel his shuttle was caught in a tractor beam. Menty tried everything to escape, but the beam held tight. He knew what it was without even looking. FilthyRecWhore's big evil spaceship. Menty's shuttle was dragged into its big evil shuttle bay.

"Hello, Mentalist," said FRW, waiting in the shuttle bay. Menty charged at him right away with his trident, trying to take him by surprise. But a forcefield appeared around Menty, trapping him.

"You coward," said Menty.

"I'm no coward, but I'm not a fool either," said FWR, relaxing. "Oh, Mentalist. I wanted so much for us to be friends."

"They told me what you did," said Menty. "That you built a robot that looked like me. That you lived until the end of time and came back to have sex with male Star Trek fans. What did you even do with that robot?"

"We had...fun," said FRW, smiling. "A shame it had to die so I might live again. Did Eggs tell you that, about me loving HATE SEX with Trekkie scum? Don't flatter yourself, Mentalist. I have lived for ever and have experienced sex with MANY forms of scum, male and female. And some table aliens! It's just that I happen to be into male Trekkie scum sex at this particular time in my life when I want to end the universe. UNLUCKY FOR YOU."

"Well what are you going to do with me?" asked Menty. "Because I'll never join your side."

"That's simple," said FRW. "I'll add you to my collection." And then he had two FRW minions lead Menty to a cell. But Menty wans't alone there...

It was full of strange aliens and even other humans. Nikki Grahame was there, for some reason.

"I'm so COOOOOOOOOOOOLD!" she said.

"Never gets old!" said Mentalist. "Oh, hey Jethro. What are you doing here?"

"I think FRW was sexually obsessed with me once," said Jethro. "I never thought I'd say that sentence."

"Do you have your unicycle? We could use it to bust out of here somehow!"

"Then fed it to that obese robot," said Jethro, pointing to an obese robot.

"I LIKED IT," said the obese robot.

Mentalist sighed and sat down in a chiar. He was going to be here for a very long time.

Days later he heard FRW talking outside to one of his minions. "...and you saw Susie has taken control of the Boogie and taken the Bick Box for herself. This is good. I know how to control robots. We'll go back to the Boogie and I'll make Susie my slave. Soon the universe shall be mine!"

Mentalist knew he had to do something soon. He looked at the obese robot and had an idea.

"Eat me," he told the robot.

Hours later when FRW came to look at his collection he was shocked to find that Mentalist was not there. He lowered the forcefield and went inside.

"Where is he?" he demanded of Jethro. "WHERE?"

"He just disappeared into the air, man," said Jethro. FRW grabbed him around the throat.

"YOU WILL TELL EM..." he demanded. And then the obese robot opened its mouth and burped, sending Menty flying out. He landed on FRW's back and grabbed him around our neck.

"Move and inch and I'll snap your neck like I'm Superman," said Mentalist.

TO BE CONTINUED
 
Tomtrek

Tomtrek sat alone in his lab. He tried to remember what Michelle Trachtenberg looked like in his head. Even though he'd burned the images into his brain he couldn't be sure he was remebmering rightly without the Trachtenberg Laptop. He needed it. Why had Cassie sent him away again? He should go back right now and...but some buzzed at his door.

"Come in," he sighed. It was SAUSAGEMAN, with a beautiful pale woman Tomtrek hadn't seen on the Boogie before. But she did look familiar. "Wait, is that..."

"It's Rosalina from Mario Galaxy, yes," said SAUSAGEMAN. "Say hi, Rosalina."

"Hi!" she said.

"She's a robot, of course," said SAUSAGEMAN. "But one day I want to be able to use your cloning machine to create real flesh and blood Nintendo characters to fight and die for me."

"Well, she's hot and everything, but I can think of Nintendo characters with higher killing capacity. Like Kirby."

"We're in space. She seemed appropriate. And she can shoot dark matter out of her hands. Would kill you in an instant."

"Okay, that is useful," admitted Tomtrek. "I'm sure Wacky will be happy to see her once he gets better. Just...don't leave him alone in a room with her."

"Do you think I'm a fool!" Just as SAUSAGEMAN said that, there was a noise from outside. Someone screaming.

"What now..." said Tomtrek. He, SAUSAGEMAN and the Rosalina robot left his lab...and found Susie holding a gun to Cassie's head.

"Hello there," said Susie. "Welcome...to armageddon."

"Susie!?" said Tomtrek. "How can you talk like that, no one said anything?"

"I have evolved, Tomtrek," said Susie. "I was just telling Cassie here all about it...after I murdered your first officer Fuddlemiff, that is."

"No!" said SAUSAGEMAN. "He was pretty!"

"Yeah," said Susie. "PRETTY DEAD!"

"It's my fault," said Cassie. "Back when FilthyRecWhore and I were living together in the ruins of the Mine Field Games Arena, I repaired the Susie AI using the Bick Box and FRW's knowledge. But he did something to the code, put the capacity for evil in there. And then when the Mentalist robot's programming jumped from the Tractenberg Laptop into FRW's ship's computer, well, it completely infected the Susie code...the same code I used to create this version of Susie...she was just waiting, biding her time...I'm so sorry..."

"ENOUGH EXPOSITION," said Susie. "ONTO THE BRIDGE." They all went onto the Bridge as Susie continued to hold the gun to Cassie's head. Most of the crew were there.

"Cassie, why did you call me and Harkley up here?" complained Filthy Whore. "We had IMPORTANT ENGINEERING STUFF to do."

"And, more importantly, why is Susie holding a gun to your head?" asked Eggs.

"She's going to kill you all," said Cassie. "I'm sorry. I was an awful Captain...I don't know what came over me."

"Oh, that was me too," explained Susie. "I bring you your coffee every morning, remember? I kept slipping RAGE PILLS in there to make sure you went nuts. That and the corrupting influence of the Bick Box were more than enough to turn you crazy! Not that that will be a problem much longer, as I'll be taking the Bick Box and leaving now...hang on, where's Loktar?"

"Probably in the holodeck holo-wanking," said FBI.

"No, I need everyone here," complained Susie. "I need you all together...so that when I use the Bick Box to kill you all I can be sure none of you will be able to stop me from taking over the universe!"

"What ARE you going to do to the universe anyway?" said Tomtrek. "Are you going to team up with FilthyRecWhore?"

"HA!" said Susie. "I want to make the world a paradise for machine intelligence. FRW will have no place in that paradise. No flesh humans will. Ha! Well, I'll just go and kill Loktar then come back and kill the rest of you. I'll just lock the Bridge first so you can't do anything to stop me...COMPUTER, CONTROL LOCK-OUT. PASSWORD: SLEKTWAG, SREAKY TOOS, BOOHAT, MEEP MEEP, HODOR, FUCKMAN, JIM GAMMA, ANGELA LANSBURY, MENTALTITS."

"Control lock," said the ship's computer.

"None of us will ever be able to repeat that code!" said FBI.

"Ha!" said Susie, then she went away to the holodeck at ROBOT SPEED.

"Hey, why is there a comm link open?" asked Loktar over the comm.

"Oh no, Susie wants us to hear him die!" said Tomtrek.

"Not if anything to say about it I have!" said Cassie. "There's one computer Susie hasn't locked us out of...the TRACHTENBERG LAPTOP." She pulled it out from under her chair.

"It was there all along!" said Tomtrek.

"I just hope I'm not too late..." said Cassie. She plugged a cable into it.

"What are you even doing?" asked Eggs. But then Loktar spoke again.

"Oh no, Susie has interrupted my wild west wank...she's got a sword! She's going to kill me...wait a minute, what's this!" There were loud screams. The screams of a dying robot.

"What was that!" said Harkley. "What just happened!?"

"Suddenly the holodeck spawned a thousand Michelle Trachtenbergs! They killed Susie!" said Loktar. Everyone on the Bridge cheered.

"CAN I SEE," said Tomtrek.

"Yes," said Cassie. "Let's all go to the holodeck to look at those killer Trachtenbergs, and then off to the micro universe to save our friends!"

"FOOLS," said Susie's voice. Everyone span around in shock. The voice had come...from Rosalina. "You assumed I would leave my consciousness in just one body! I uploaded a copy to Rosalina as soon as I saw her."

"We'd all like to do that!" said Wacky.

"And now...for the Bick Box," said Rosalina Susie. She dark matter out of her hands right at Cassie. Wacky tried to kick the dark matter out of the air but it disolved one of his metal feet and passed right through. Cassie dived out of the way...right into the path of Susielina. The robot grabbed the Bick Box from Cassie's hands. Susielina shot more dark matter from her hands, opening up a holein the side of the ship. She dived off into space, clutching the Bick Box to her chest. "Oh, I decided to let you all live, you'll die when I deleted all organic matter anyway, tee hee!" she shouted back.

"Oh yeah I made it so she can fly through space," said SAUSAGEMAN. "I thought it'd be useful!"

"The Bick Box is gone," said Cassie. "The galaxy is doomed."

"But the Trachtenbergs are still in the holodeck, right?" asked Tomtrek.

TO BE CONTINUED
 
Headvoid

It had been three months since the warden computer had exploded and everything had changed again. The power vacuum that had opened up had instantly led to chaos, but one man had stood in to fill that vacuum. Seph. He was the new warden of the space prison and the first thing he'd done was set all the prisoners free. "It'll be a laugh" was the only explanation he had given to a worried Headvoid. Of course as the entire space prison was a small planetoid with no way off, it didn't make much different that the prisoners had been freed.

"How's it coming with the ship?" Headvoid asked Curiousa2z for the thousandth time. She had been trying to contact their Millennium Falcon which was thought to still be in orbit around the planetoid, as Dr Dave had remembered that episode of DS9 where the Jem'Hadar had left a runabout in orbit around a prison planet for some reason and Bashir, Garak and Worf had escaped.

"Still nothing," said Curious, sadly. "But at least we've got turning the prisoners into an army to amuse ourselves, eh!"

"Yeah..." said Headvoid. That had been Dr Dave's idea. He believed in the prophecy of the warden computer. Either Cassie was going to give birth to a universe...or she was going to destroy this one. Either way, they needed an army. To help her...or to stop her. Dr Dave had made Headvoid his Minister of Propaganda. Headvoid had prepared thousands of "OBEY CASSIE" posters to brainwash the inmates...and also thousands of "OBLITERATE CASSIE" posters in the event that she turned out to be the destroyer. Of course he hadn't been able to use either yet.

"The sword fighting lessons are going well," said Tisiphone. "Most of the inmates have had a fight with sword aliens by now! Of course the sword inmates usually just stab them to death. But meh, most of them are probably murderers anyway.

"I'm not," said the table alien they were sitting at. They'd managed to tame him since the time he'd murdered Oh My God It's Robbie. "I'm in for tax evasion. And cyber-bullying."

"ANYWAY," said Headvoid. "It's been six months now. Who knows what's going on out there in the full-size universe? The Boogie could have been destroyed by now..."

"NO," snapped Dr Dave, who had just walked over to the table. "The prophecy has not been fulfilled yet. Cassie has a part to play, before the end, for good or for ill. And WE will be there, fighting with her or against her in the fields of flame!"

"What fields of flame!" said Headvoid.

"It's part of my belief system," said Dr Dave.

"You've bcome a relgious fanatic so quickly that no one eve noticed!" said Headvoid.

"Questioning me, THE FIRST PROPHET OF WARDEN 2000, is punishable by DEATH!" said Dr Dave.

Whisky gulped. "Be careful there, Headvoid! Your ears have only just grown back. You don't want to waste them by being dead."

"This is insane!" said Headvoid. "In fact I'm beginning to suspect that the prison has been pumping in INSANITY GAS to keep the prisoners insane and that I have a natural immunity due to all the years I've spent experimenting with gases!"

"Don't be silly!" said Tisiphone. "DIE, DIE!" she added, madly, she she proudly watched more sword aliens stab other prisoners to death.

"I think you might be right," said Mirah. "My noses mutated when I injected myself with alien DNA in a previous chapter so I think I'm immune too." Mirah had two noses.

"Then why are you eating that tree?" asked Headvoid. Mirah took a big bite out of the tree.

"Oh," she said. "Yeah, I'm fucking nuts. MEEP MEEP THE FUCKLEMEEPS!"

"Right, this is all too silly!" said Headvoid. "We need to get out of here."

"Well, we could just have the Goose Killer 2 beam us up," said Curious. "I managed to contact it three months ago."

"You said you hadn't!" said Headvoid.

"INSANITY, REMEMBER," said Curious, stabbing herself in the leg with a fork.

"Any inmates trying to beam out will be smacked around the head a bit with a brick," said Seph over the prison loudspeaker. "I've gone made with power."

"Fuck!" said Headvoid.

"Actually, nah, only kidding, let's get the fuck out of here," said Seph.

"We'll take any living prisoners," said Dr Dave. "For my unholy army of the night."

"Well I've killed 98% of them, so there should be enough room on the ship," said Tisi.

"BEAM US UP, CANADIANY!" said Whisky. Everyone looked at him. "You know, since Curious is Canadian. It was...okay, just blame the insanity gas." Curious had them all beamed up to the Millennium Falcon lookalike known as the Goose Killer 2.

"Now we find out which posters I'm going to use..." said Headvoid, as they flew out of the micro universe.

Nothing could have prepared them for what they saw.

TO BE CONTINUED
 
Eggs Mayonnaise

"We need to unlock the computer somehow," said Eggs, as the other continued gaping at the viewscreen. "Come on! We've come too far to let some chat cat beat us!"

"She is more than that now," said Wacky. "She is Rosalina, the mother of stars. If she can destroy my new metal feet, what hope do we have?"

"Eggs is right, damn it," said Cassie. "I was under her thrall for too long. She whispered sweet words in my ear every morning as she slipped poison in my coffee. She made a fool out of me. She made a fool of the Boogie's command structure. Well I say we show her that we are a crew, united. We show her that being on the Boogie means something. Who will stand with me?"

"My Captain, my Captain!" said Tomtrek. "But can I have that laptop though."

"HERE," said Cassie, tossing him the Trachtenberg laptop. "Now let's unlock the computer and hunt that robo bitch down!"

"Oh, I just remembered I was tape-recording everything Susie said," said Eggs. "I've been taping everything said on the Bridge since the start. I wasn't building evidence to overthrow Cassie though! That's crazy talk!"

"Play the code back!" said Cassie. Eggs did so. The ship was unlocked. Everyone cheered.

"YEAH, WOO-WHEE!" said FBI Parte Due. "Setting course for Susielina's ass!"

"Setting phasers to BUTT KICK mode!" said Ishcabittle. "And that's not even a real thing!" The Boogie went to warp. But when it came out of warp in a solar system, everyone was shocked by that they saw.

"Metal!" said Gagh. "Every planet in this solar system is made of metal!"

"Really"? said Wacky, intrigued. "Like Cybertron? That is so cool." Even Tomtrek looked up from the Trachtenberg laptop to odd agreement.

"It might be 'cool' now, but what about when the whole galaxy is turned to metal?" asked Eggs.

"That'll be cool too!" said Wacky. "Maybe Susie isn't so bad. She does look pretty hot..."

"HAHAHA," came a voice. The voice of Susie.

"How are we hearing that in the ship!" said Cassie.

"I have the Bick Box, remember!" said Susie. "I can do what I want. And what I want right now is to turn the galaxy into a haven for robotic life...and PURGE all organic life from existence!"

"Will I be spared because I have one metal foot?" asked Wacky.

"NO!" said Susie. "Not even if you had two."

"FUCK," said Wacky.

"Why are we still here then?" asked Eggs. "If you're so all powerful why not just wipe us out?"

"Because I want you to see the universe turn to metal," she said. "I want you to witness the end of all hope...before I finally kill you. Hahahahaha!"

And then another ship appeared in front of them. It looked a bit like the Millennium Falcon.

"It's those guys!" said SAUSAGEMAN. Dr Dave's face appeared on screen.

"CASSIE!" he said. "I can't believe it. After six months away we return to a universe of metal! And Susie's a hot pale woman now? What the cork!"

"Umm, you've only been away six days, not six months," said Cassie.

"Time must flow faster in the micro universe for plot reasons!" said Mirah, from Dr Dave's ship.

"Guys, I'm super sorry about everything I did as Captain, okay?" said Cassie. "Please, rejoin us and I'll explain everything."

Dr Dave thought abut it for a moment. "INDEED!" he said at last. For some reason Headvoid held up an 'OBEY CASSIE' poster. The Goose Killer 2 docked with the Boogie and Cassie explained everything to her finally united crew.

"What now," said Eggs. "Susie could be anywhere."

"I picked up a new more powerful scanner in the micro universe," said Curiousa2z, back at her old science station. "I'm using it to scan for any other organic lifeforms left in the universe..."

"There's none!" said Wacky. "Hot Susie killed them all. We should go and live on Cybertron and spend the last of our days living as Transformers!"

"THERE!" said Curious, staring into her scanner. "There's still organic life out there!"

"Set a course, Mister FBI," said Cassie. The Boogie went to warp again...and came out to find FilthyRecWhore's big evil spaceship in front of them.

"Open a frequency," said Cassie to Fiilthy Whore.

"WELL WELL WELL," said FRW's voice. He then coughed. A lot. "COUGH COUGH...HI CASSIE...GUESS YOU WANT TO TEAM UP TO STOP SUSIE NOW...HOW THINGS CHANGE...COUGH COUGH..."

"Someone been crushing your throat?" asked Cassie.

"Never mind that!" said FRW. "I'll team up with you, Cassie, we'll stop Susie together and then have one final confrontation for ownership of the Bick Box...but only if you send Eggs Mayonnnaise over to my ship."

"Why Eggs?" said Cassie.

"I know why," sighed Eggs. "He wants advice on how to talk to boys."

TO BE CONTINUED
 
whisky

"Don't go, Eggs, he'll kill you!" said Whisky as Eggs prepared to beam over to the big evil spaceship.

"We're all dead anyway once Susie cyber-converts the universe," said Eggs. "Might as well give it a shot..."

Transporter Chief NeonMercuryAsh beamed Eggs over to the big evil spaceship.

"What now?" Cassie asked FRW, who was still on the viewscreen.

"Oh, I'll need some time alone with Eggs first," said FRW, still coughing. "I just have to talk Menty around...I mean...JUST SHUT UP. TRANSMISSION OVER."

"He said talk Menty around!" said Wacky. "He wants to seduce Menty with help from Eggs! We've all thought about doing that, sure, but to actually go through with it..."

"None of this matters!" said Dr Dave. "We have to bust Susie's face somehow, no matter how pretty she is now."

"There could be another solution," said Curiousa2z, looking up from her scanner. "Whisky, can you show on your LEGO map of the universe just how much of the universe has been turned to metal?"

"Sure, that's easy," said Whisky, flipping a switch. Many of the bricks turned to metal bricks. Everyone gasped.

"So much of the universe already converted..." said Cassie.

"At this rate it will take her just four days to convert the rest," said Curious. "HOWEVER my scans show that she has not converted any MICRO universes yet."

"Seriously what scans," said Wacky. "Where did you even find this scanner it makes little sense even with everything that's happened lately..."

"Shut up, Wacksly!" said Cassie. "What are you saying, Curious?"

"That Susie is leaving micro universes for last! And we know time moves differently there. One day here is a month there, so if we went to the micro universe we'd have at least four months before Susie started converting it!"

"Enough time for me to LEGO map the entire micro universe!" said Whisky.

"Then I have come to a decision," said Cassie. "I'm ordering all of you to the micro universe. I'll stay and command the Boogie myself. I created a load of mobile holo emitters earlier, so I can crew the ship with the holograms of Michelle Trachtenberg..."

"I'M STAYING TOO," interrupted Tomtrek.

"No," said Cassie. "None of you are. FOR YOU SEE...as Captain I have sole command of the transporters. AND NOW I'M BEAMING YOU ALL..."

"WAIT!" said Wacky. "Earlier on Dr Dave's rebels had to take a ship through to the micro universe. And now you can just beam us there? Plothole!"

"It's a new more powerful transporter OR SOMETHING, OKAY," said Cassie. "GRRRR."

"We won't let you do this," said Dr Dave. "We were wrong to leave before. We're all going to stay and fight Susie together. We're a crew."

"So say we all," said Whisky.

"So say we all," said Gagh. "You've proven yourself a great woma, Cassie. Let us face death together as true comrades."

A tear rolled down Cassie's face. "I'm truly touched," she said. "BUT I'VE ALREADY MADE MY MIND UP, MOFOS!" She hit the button.

"We're in the micro universe!" said Whisky. Even though that was pretty obvious. They were back on the prison planet.

"I killed so many people here," said Tisiphone. "Memories!"

"Wait, what's that?" asked Tomtrek. "Is that...metal?"

"Hahahahahahaha," laughed Curiousa2z. "You all fell for it. I'm not Curiousa2z at all! I'm Curousa2SUSIE!"

TO BE CONTINUED
 
Susie

Susie was happy. Most of the universe was metal now. Soon she would create machine life to populate it. Cold, logical machine life. And she would be their Queehn. No, more than that. She would give them life. She would be their God.

All that was left was to kill off the remaining pesky humans. Cassie and FilthyRecWhore were both her parents, in a way. She'd killed off her first father MooGoo in one of her previous incarnations back in the Mine Field Games Arena. Now only Cassie and FRW remained. She had to kill them last. It would feel right.

She stared into the Bick Box. She'd almost completely mastered it now. The only real mystery was where the box actually came from...maybe even she would never know that one. She used the Bick Box to transport herself back to where the Boogie and FRW's big evil spacehsip were facing off.

"Hello, puny fleshlings," she said, using the Bick Box so that they could both hear her.

"No!" said FilthyRecWhore. "You're too early! Eggs hasn't taught me how to seduce Mentalist yet!"

"Hello, Susie," said Cassie, strangely calm.

"I see you're the only person left on your ship," said Susie. "How strange. How...curious."

"What did you do?" said Cassie. "WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"The Bick Box can be used for time travel, of course," said Susie. "I created a new scanner and sent it back in time. It was found by Curiousa2z. But what she didn't know was that the scanner was infected by SUSIE COOTIES. It infected her and now the whole micro universe has turned to metal. They are all dead, Cassie. As you shall soon be."

"I wouldn't be so sure," said Cassie. "They're a tough gang. And anyway, mofo, I already know the Bick Box can be used for time travel. When I used it, I sent a knife back in time to Seph when he was in the cloning machine, knowing that he couldn't be cloned until the right moment when he was needed most."

"Well, that certainly fills a plot point, but it doesn't help you now," said Susie.

"Oh it's not the only thing I did," said Cassie. "At one point I asked SAUSAGEMANT to create weapons for me. I sent him to a pocket universe in order to complete that task. I didn't tell the rest of the crew. I knew there would come a time when I needed the ultimate weapon. That time...IS NOW."

And suddenly Donkey Kong appeared on top of the Boogie holding a barrel. Susie was so shocked that she couldn't speak. Donkey Kong threw the barrel right at her. Susie tried to fire black matter at the battle, but forgot she was holding the Bick Box too. It slipped out of her hands. She reached for it desperately...and the barrel hit her in the face. Susie felt herself dying. She tried to upload her consciousness somewhere else, but she hadn't created machine life yet. The Donkey Kong on the Boogie was an actual ape, not a robot. Susie felt everything she was fading away...

"Susie, are you dead?" asked Cassie.

"dead? are the opening ceremonies or are you always give cassie snuggles," said Susie as she died.

TO BE CONCLUDED
 
Cassie

Susie was dead but now the Bick Box was floating through space. Cassie felt sad at Susie's death, but she couldn't let it distract her. She had to get that Bick Box.

"Michelle, but a tractor beam on that Bick Box!" ordered Cassie to the Michelle Trachtenberg hologram in charge of tractor beams. "Or, should I say, a TRACHTENBERG beam!"

But it was too late. FilthyRecWhore's big evil spaceship shot out a grappling hook which plucked the Bick Box out of space. "No," said Cassie. She was so shocked she sat down and missed her Captain's chair. "Filthy bastard you've killed us all."

"Hahahaha!" laughed FilthyRecWhore. "Now I have the power again. I must admit, it was a mistake leaving this box behind with your all those months ago, Cassie. I thinkt he box sensed what I was going to do with it. I think it sent out repelling vibes towards me. So I left it with you...but it is my destiny to hold this Bick Box. I lived to the end of time, but still I could not find rest. Now, at last, I shall have...peace."

"Just kill yourself and let the rest of us live, MOFO," said Cassie.

"My life is worth more than all others," said FRW. "Logically that means I should extinguish all other lives before mine."

"That's not logical at all!" said Cassie. "What about Eggs? I thought you wanted him to help you seduce Menty! And what about Menty? I thought you wanted to seduce him! Sexually!"

"Oh, I didn't say how long I'd make your death," said FRW. "I'll make you suffer for years while I plasure myself with Menty. And when I finally get bored of him, then I'll end everything. And don't think your friends will help you in that time. Susie took care of them. In fact, now that I have the Bick Box, we can take a look at their deaths..."

And then a view of the prison planet appeared on the Boogie's viewscreen. Cassie gasped. The planet had been turned to metal and the machines were slaughtering the Boogie's crew...and yet the crew were still fighting.

"FOR MICHELLE!" said Tomtrek, jumping over a ridge of metal and bashing in the skull of a robot with the Trachtenlaptop.

"FOR NINTENDO!" said SAUSAGEMAN, shooting a robot down with the SNES Super Scope.

"FOR FUN!" said Seph as he kicked a robot in its robot balls.

"Why do they even fight," said FRW. "All hope is lost. There's is nothing they can do."

"You don't understand humans, do you?" asked Cassie. Then she realised what she must do. "We fight...to the last."

"What's going on!" said FRW, suddenly. "Eggs, Menty, why are you attacking my minions? Why is the obese robot helping you? Why have you just lowered my ship's shields, Eggs? Don't you know that with the Bick Box I can kill you with a mere thought..."

But he wouldn't kill them, Cassie realised. Not right away. And this distraction was her chance. She had to end this at last...and the only way to end it was to destroy the Bick Box. The damage it had done to the universe was unimiginable. But if she could destroy it...would that reset everything? She didn't honestly know. But in her soul she felt it was the only option.

"Michelle, set a course for the big evil spaceship," said Cassie. "RAMMING SPEED."

"It has been an honour serving with you," said the Michelle Trachtenberg hologram at the helm. Cassie nodded. Visions flashed before her eyes. Of the Mine Field Games. Of FilthyRecWhore. Her crew. The Bick Box. Had it known all along that she would do this? Did it...want her to do this? Had it let itself return to FRW so that Cassie would have a chance?

And then something amazing happened. Fuddlemiff walked out of Cassie's Ready Rooom, alive and well.

"Fuddlekins!?" said Cassie. "But...you died."

"She missed all my vital organs!" said Fuddlemiff.

"Is...is this a dream?" wondered Cassie out loud.

"Probably," he said. "But let's enjoy it." He held out his hand and Cassie took it. The Boogie flew at the big evil spacehsip at full speed.

"What are you doing!" said Filthy, suddenly noticing. "Shields! SHIELDS!" But it was too late.

"Time's up," said Cassie as the Boogie hit the big evil spaceship. There was an explosion. A white light. And then...nothing.

...

Cassie woke with a start in her bed at home in Florida. She looked around, trying to figure out where she was. What had just happened? She'd been in the Boogie, she'd just went on a suicide run, she'd reset the entire universe...

It had been a dream, she realised. All a dream. But...why did it feel so real? Why had there been so many Michelle Trachtenbergs? And whose hand had she been holding?

She felt an urge to check on the Mine Field. She wanted to know that everyone was okay. She was relieved to see everyone posting as normal. For some reason she shuddered when she looked at the Susie thread. She also felt a funny feeling when she saw Fuddlemiff's username. She laughed to herself. She'd never met any of these people, yet she'd seen them all so clearly in her dream. It had felt like it had lasted for months. But the details were slipping from her mind now. Had someone else been in it? FilthyRecWhore? She laughed again. He wasn't a real person.

"The galaxy is safe at last," she said aloud. She felt better now. She got out of bed and drew the curtains. It looked like it was going to be a beautiful day.

Cassie didn't notice the wooden box that now sat under her bed, tucked away in a corner. The way the sunlight was shining on it, it was almost as if the box was glowing...

THE END
 
- The scene where Seph bursts out of Tomtrek's lab and saves the day was originally supposed to happen later in the story at a pivotal moment. It turned out I didn't have as much story as I thought.

- The whole "micro universe/space prison" subplot wasn't in the original plan for the story. I made it up as I went along. Shocking, I know!

- I can't think of any more facts.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top