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Mums gone

Sorry man, from what I’ve seen you talk about on Facebook it sounds like the last few years have been pretty tough. I’m sure she felt your love til the end, though.
 
whisky said:
She made it to 86, and her end was peaceful. I am no longer anyone's son.
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Sorry to hear that. My mom only made to 78. Gone almost 4 years now. Dad is 82 and just went into a nursing home. I won't anyone's son much longer.
 
Just seems a bit unreal, already cleared her room out at the home, no doubt someone else will be in by Monday.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been without my parents for 21 years now. Once in a while, a moment will still pop up where I have to just sit and remember and feel it all. It's something you learn to live with. And learn from.
 
A month in and it still dosnt seem real, I'm kind of worried that I don't feel sad.

Maybe I am in denial, maybe I got my grief out when she stopped remembering me.

Maybe I've just forgotten how to feel.
 
Give yourself time. A month is still the shock period. It'll hit you when you least expect it.

I remember that I cried at very specific points in the process with my mom -- I cried more when I heard the news that it would be any time than when it actually happened. And then I didn't cry much during the planning and wake and funeral, until after I did a reading during the mass. Once that was done and I sat back down, I let go. Taking care of obligations and keeping busy and thinking about others is a way to put things off if your inner self needs to.

But it's different for everyone. If you really felt it while she was lingering, maybe you don't need to express as much now, because you know her suffering is over and she's at peace. But there will be moments to come, dont' worry.
 
Are there boxes full of pictures you can look through? Doing that helped me when my grandma died. I know grandmas aren't the same as moms but I lived with her and took care of her for years and looking at those pictures helped me grieve and remember the good times at the same time.
 
Really nothing I can say. All the best. Actually, there's quite a nice poem, "Gone From My Sight," that is at the end of the hospice booklet. I can did it up online if you'd like.
 
Not the same thing at all, I know, but my cat died on Friday. She'd lived her for eighteen years so I was very attached (obviously not in the same way as I would be to a human, but I don't know many humans.) It did give me flashbacks to the morning my mum died and brought back a lot of the grief from that. Grief can come up at any time and is never truly gone. Sometimes I feel nothing and think that's better, sometimes I'm relieved to cry again.
 
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