What's new
Troll Kingdom

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

MY GOD! I'm almost 38 weeks now!!

Laker_Girl

Laker_Girl

Mrs. Big Dick McGee
But because I'm STILL not dilated AT ALL doctor won't induce me. My kid is going to be 10 fucking pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so huge and so uncomfortable and my baby isn't a circus monkey so he doesn't perform well for my twice weekly nonstress tests and I'm so fucking sick of them I could commit murder I don't care how fucking necessary they are!! Plus the Braxton Hicks...Fucking God, they're not doing anything so why should I be in pain, it's bullshit!!!!!!!!!!

And so help me God, if one more person tells me to get some rest or "It will all be worth it." I'm going to stab them in the skull with a fork!
 
Go eat some Taco Bell. If that don't clean out your pipes nothing will.
 
It will all be worth it.:D
 
LC, do you have a fork or do you need me to mail you one?
 
One must assume she owns a fork.
 
LOL - I meant L_G.
LC wouldn't stab anyone with a fork.
 
I think that is called hope.
 
Whew. Ew. This thread has all sorts of nasty connotations to it now.

I don't know what to say to L_G.

Good Luck?!

Are you recording the birth? Just kidding.

I really feel for you and have respect for all mothers.

LOL We never say we respect the fathers, but I can imagine....

Dammit just have the baby already!
 
have lots of sexy sex, and insist that he finish inside. the semen contains proclastin which can help things along. and stay hydrated these next 2 weeks!
 
Eat at Barney's Beanery a lot, and jump up and down for 15 minutes after every meal.
 
LORD have mercey on his soul.
 
Sorry, I mispronounced that
link
Semen is the greatest (umm, highest;-) source of prostaglandins. Prostaglandins cause the cervix to "ripen", or soften and prepare to open. Sex can help the cervix to dilate and efface by depositing these prostaglandins on the cervix..

Furthermore nipple stimulation may also have a role in that it is known to release oxytocin, the hormone that causes contractions. In addition, orgasms produce oxytocin. So, between these factors, there is a pretty good case for the stimulation of labor.
Click to expand...
 
Stretch marks?
 
Good point, LC - I respect fathers that live up to that description, do the job and not bail.
 
Sex is not going to happen, HELL NO! The baby's head is pushing down on my bits and it's crazy painful, we're not jabbing anything in there.

I've walked, I've eaten peppers, I've done squats, I've done all I can stand to do he just has to come out!!

And I have lots of forks, all shapes and sizes.
 
Augustus Gloop will be with us very soon.
 
Good luck, Laura!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top