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My Life In Hufflepuff

"YOU BOYS, STAY HERE," boomed Sprout, as she grabbed her wand and ran out after Filch. Hugh and I looked at each other.

"No way," we both said and got up and ran out. Sprout was already down the stairs. We could hear loud cries, screaming, bursts of magical energy. Hugh stopped at the top of the stairs. He looked scared and I couldn't blame him. But I took a deep breath and ran down. There were students running in every direction, but I barged through, rounded a corner...and saw chaos before me.

The portrait of the Fat Lady, which guarded the entrance to Gryffindor Tower, was lying on the floor ripped to pieces. The troll was there, at the end of the corridor. It had broken out of Gryffindor's Common Room...and there were legs hanging out of its mouth. It had eaten a student. Now I felt like Hugh had, but even worse. I was rooted to the spot. I saw McGonagall herself preparing an attack with her wand...then troll span round, hitting her with its tail, sending her crashing into the wall. Her body hit the ground, limp. And she was one of the most powerful witches in the whole school. If she could not stand again the troll, what chance did the rest of us have?

It was no ordinary troll, if there is such a thing. It was bigger than the trolls we'd seen in our text books, a mountain troll, the kind that never even met people...yet it wasn't simply wild. It wore armour. It was a war troll. Even its tail had spikes coming from it. Poor McGonagal, she hadn't had a chance. And now it was coming in my direction and I was just standing there, wondering if the Evil in Hufflepuff could have been responsible for something so big, so real...then a might magical blast hit the troll from behind and it turned in annoyance. It was a combined attack from three wands, from three students...

Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley...and Harry Fucking Potter himself. I was in awe of them, in that moment, even Weasley. To combine their power like that, to be so calm after McGonagall had just been thrown probably to her death...they were not students. They were Gods.

Yet even that hadn't put the troll down and now it was swinging its tail at them as it had McGonagall. Ron jumped out of the way but crashed to the ground hard, Harry jumped back into a doorway and Hermione ran...right into the troll's waiting claw. It held her up to its mouth...it spat out the few remaining bones of the student it had been eating. It wanted to eat Hermione's sweet milky flesh.

I held up my wand. I had no idea what I was going to do. My mind had went black and I probably didn't know any spells powerful enough for the troll to even notice me. And yet...I had to do someting. I'd throw myself into its back if that was all I could do. I prepared to ran forward...then heard a voice. I knew, somehow, that the voice was coming from the pebble I always carried with me. That it was the voice of my father.

"Boohat, slektwag, sreaky toos!" it whispered.

"BOOHAT, SLEKTWAG, SREAKY TOOS!" I cried and my wand almost exploded in my hands as a blast shot out of it. I was thrown backwards. My attack hit the troll right in the back of the head. It flinched, like it had been stung by a wasp, perhaps. Then it dropped Hermione to the floor...and turned in my direction.
 
I was more concerned about Hermione at first, as I saw her crash to the floor, but seemed to still be conscious. Then I realised that I was probably about to die. It's funny, but I felt calm almost as soon as I realised it. Time seemed to slow down. I won't say my life flashed before my eyes, but things did start to make sense. Everything had been leading up to this moment. I was just a minor player in a greater tale, and that was the tale of Harry, Ron and dear Hermione. I had just saved their lives. It was the biggest thing I had ever done in my life. Bigger than most. They would go on to change the magical world, thanks to me. I would die. My part of the tale was over. Why else would my father have spoken to me? Dumbledore had said I would hear him speak to me when I was worthy. Well, I was surely worthy now, willing to sacrifice myself to save others. Worthy to die here. It wouldn't be so bad...

I tried to cast the spell again, but I couldn't remember the words, somehow. They were enchanted, I realised, they could only be repeated, never learned. Tricksy. The troll was so close now I could smell its breath. It reached at me with its claw...then stopped. It didn't just stop, it was frozen, held by something...some force. I looked round the troll and I saw them. Harry, Ron and Hermione, with crazed looks in their eyes. I was more scared of them than I was of the troll. They had combined their strength again, launched another triple strength magical attack...but this one was different. It was dark magic, I thought to myself. Not the kind of thing you'd expect from three of Gryffindor's finest. But I wasn't complaining, they had just saved my life.

I saw a look of confusion on the trolls face, then pain. Incredible pain. This thing ate students, I told myself, it deserved to die. Then I could see what was happening. The spell was ripping the troll apart. Slowly, at first. Harry, Ron and Hermione were all concentrating extra hard. They looked ready to pass out. But I knew they had it. I knew they were going to pull the troll apart by its very atoms. This was the day I first TRULY appreciated the aweseome power of magic. There had been moments before, but nothing compared to this. Even the bomb on Halloween, it could have killed us all...but bombs exist in the muggle world. This? There was nothing like this out there. This was magic. It was dangerous, terrible. It was awesome.

As the troll was torn apart before my very eyes I had just one thought. I wanted to learn how to do that some day.

Then the troll was gone, just like that. It just disappeared into the air. I could see a distortion for a moment, and then it was gone. I realised later that I was breathing in troll atoms at this pont. Harry ran over to check on McGonagall, who, it turned out, was somehow still alive. She missed a few lessons for the first time in sixty years of teaching, but she returned as her old self fairly quickly. Ron and Hermione ran over towards me.

"That was amazing!" said Hermione. "I've never seen a spell like that! Your distraction saved us all!" I thought she was going to kiss me, so I couldn't speak at first. I struggled to get the words out...but before I could, I heard someone beside me speak.

"Oh, it was nothing, a triffling little spell," came a sickly sweet female voice. It took me a moment to place it before I figured it out...Sprout! She was standing beside me holding her wand. Taking credit for what I had done! "That spell the three of you did...I don't think even myself, professor Dumbeldore and Snape could do that togther!"

"Oh, I'm sure you could," said Hermion, blushing. "Good to see you're okay too, Hugh," she added. Hugh? Was he here too? I couldn't see him...oh. She had been talking to me.

Hermione Granger didn't even know my name. She was only one letter out, but still. I had just saved her life, but she thought it had been Sprout and she didn't even know my name.

And to think I had been ready to die for her a few minutes before!
 
Why had Sprout taken credit, was the frist question I asked myself. Well, no, the first question I asked myself was "WHY DOESN'T HERMIONE LOVE M"? but I got over that eventually and started questioning Sprout's motives. She'd never been one of the more popular teachers in school. Oh, everyone liked her as a teach well enough, she knew a lot about plants and she managed to make the lessons interesting to most of the students (not me, but I was special, remember) but on the whole? Sprout just wasn't very exciting. Downright boring compared to the likes of Dumbledore, Mad-Eye Moody, Snape or even Slughorn or McGonagall. Had she lied about casting the spell to make herself appear more interesting?

Or maybe it was possible she genuinely believed she had saved the day...maybe she had cast a spell at the same time as me. Maybe. I didn't really care, after thinking about it for a few minutes...the anger kept coming back. I made my way back to the Hufflepuff dorm, while everyone else was trying to get a look at the dead troll, unaware of the fact that there was no body. I told everything to Stabby when I got there.

"You did it, kid!" he said. "You saved the school. That troll would have ate us all, probably even stinky Snape!"

"Yeah, but I didn't get the credit!" I said. "What was the point?" Stabby suddenly looked very angry.

"You still don't get it, do you?" he asked. "After this I thought you would!"

"I deserve respect!" I said. "I've saved the whole school from certain destruction twice and all anyone remembers about me is that I shat myself on a broomstick!"

"Saving the school should be its own reward! A real hero doesn't seek glory after the fact, they act selflessly..."

"I did!" I interrupted. "I was willing to sacrifice myself for Herm...for the school."

"Yes," said Stabby. "In that moment, you were a true hero. That's why your dead daddy finally spoke to you. But..."

"What's wrong with wanting people to know what I've done?" I raged. "Everyone knows what Harry Fucking Potter's done..."

"Hugo, just calm down," said Stabby. "You were making real progress, you were on your way to being a real hero, I was so proud of you..."

"Like I want some disgusting little freak to be proud of me!" I didn't mean it, of course, but I could see the hurt on Stabby's face. You have to remember, I was a raging ball of homrones at the time and I'd just faced my own mortality again...and seeing that troll die like that right in front of me had messed me up more than I'd admit. But I stormed out of the dorm and left Stabby sitting on my bed in shock.

I was surprised to find Sprout waiting for me outside.

"Now young man, we must discuss your future at Hogwarts..."
 
does sprout turn out to be the evil in hufflepuff? or is she protecting hugo from the true evil? what foul, nefarious, puke-inducing, ball busting horror lies in wait?

TUNE IN NEXT WEEK, DEAR READERS, OR WHENEVER WACKY FEELS LIKE CONTINUING THE STORY! NO PRESSURE - PLEASE DON'T READ THAT AS PRESSURE, I KNOW THAT GOOD ART TAKES TIME, FAR BE IT FOR ME TO ADD ANY WEIGHT TO A GENIUS' ALREADY BURDENED SHOULDERS!! JUST DON'T PAY ANY ATTENTION TO ME, I KNOW IT'S HARD BECAUSE I'M SHOUTING.
 
"You want to talk about my future NOW?" I asked Sprout, shocked. "After everything that's happened? Shouldn't you be helping to clean up."

"Life goes on, Hugo," she said.

"Not fo the students that troll killed!" I said.

"A tragedy," said Sprout, and I could see tears in her eyes. Any suspicions I'd had about Sprout pretty much disappeared in that moment. She was genuniely heart broken. "But this will help take my mind off it...yours too."

"What, kicking me out of school is supposed to make me feel better?"

"Oh, I'm not kicking you out, Hugo. Far from it. That matter with spying on the girls can be forgotten...I know what teenage boys are like."

"Then what..."

"I saw what you did. To the troll."

"You...you saw? But you took the credit!"

"I did that to protect you. There are...forces at work in this school, Hugo." Did she know about the evil?

"What kind of forces?"

"I think you know...you have thwarted several schemes, Hugo. I'm very proud of you for doing so. Very proud to have you in Hufflepuff."

"You saved me when I fell from my broomstick," I said. "I never really thanked you."

"I would have done the same very any student...it was just unfortunate that you shat yourself, of course." I was a bit taken aback to hear Sprout use such language.

"Yeah...of course," I said.

"Hufflepuff has been looking for a champion for a long time," said Sprout. "There was Cedric Diggory of course...poor sweet Cedric. So handsome, so strong, so brave...so dead. But you! YOU ARE ALIVE!" She looked a bit demented.

"Sure am," I said, almost starting to reach for my wand. Sprout wasn't the evil, I didn't think so anyway...but she seemed to be a mad old bat.

"If the powers at work in this school knew you could cast such a spell as the one you used on the troll, they'd take you away from me, out of Hufflepuff...you be sent away to be studied! I can't let that happen...but I can train you, Hugo. In secret. You are...very capable, I feel."

"Capable of what?"

"Of being the hero Hufflepuff needs, of course! Of learning...forbidden spells..."

"Err, aren't they forbidden for a reason?" I asked. But I have to admit I was intrigued.

"It is said thatome wizards can become so powerful in the ways of magic that they can even stop death itself," said Sprout, dreamily.

"Is it possible to learn these skills?" I asked.

"Not from Dumbledore," said Sprout. "But from me...maybe. For the greater good of Hufflepuff."

"I'll...I'll have to think about it," I said.

"Think quick and discuss this with nobody!" said Sprout. "The walls have ears...you may not be able to trust even your own friends, Hugo."

"I don't have any friends," I said. Poor Stabbie. I was being horrible to him.

"I must leave," said Sprout. "But I shall call for you." Then she was gone, quickly. I didn't want to go back to the Common Room, but I didn't want to be anywhere where other students would see me. I headed for the basement...

I don't know how long I walked for before I heard the noise. A rattling of chains. I thought it was one of the school's ghosts at first, but then I saw it. It was real, it was solid...it scared me even more than the troll had. And it was coming right for me.
 
I aimed my wand. My instinct was to fire, but then I caught a glimpse of the eys of my attacker. He (for it was a he) looked scared. Scared, but also swinging an axe at me. I cast a disarming spell just in time. But he kept coming. He grabbed a hold of me. He opened his mouth...

And said nothing. Which was strange and confusing. He then started to back away. I got a good look at him. He looked like he was in his late teens, like he could even be a student in Hogwarts...except he was all dirty and scared and he couldn't talk.

(TO BE CONTINUED...hey, it's a start.)
 
truly exemplary.
 
This is absolute comedy gold :D
 
As I left the basement after my encounter with this mysterious young man, I had absolutely no idea who to turn to. I felt as alone as I had when I had first come to Hogwarts months before. Would Stabby even talk to me again after our last exchange? He probably would, I had to admit to myself, but my pride wouldn't let me go to him. Sprout? All she wanted was to make me some kind of champion for Hufflepuff. I didn't want to share my glory with the rest of that stupid house. She'd said something about being able to defy death itself...and that had intrigued me. Still, I didn't want to talk to her about what had happened in the basement, it didn't feel right.

I ended up walking in the grounds, aimlessly. Briefly the thought came to me to walk to Hogwarts Lake and throw myself in. I only got as far as Hagrid's shack. I could see his light was on. Maybe I'd talk to Hagrid about everything, I thought. Someone neutral. I went up and knocked the door. It flew open and Hagrid was standing there with an (even more than usual) crazed look on his face, pointing his wand at me.

"It's me, Hugo, from Hufflepuff!" I said. He relaxed a litte.

"Sorry, young master, I only just got back to me shack after all the chaos with the troll," said Hagrid. "I'm still on edge!"

"Yeah, that was some crazy shit," I said. "Can I come in?"

"Oh sure...don't swear though!" said Hagrid. I ignored that request. I'd seen too much not to swear. I'd earned the right.

"Bit different from exploding pumpkins, wasn't it?" I asked. That all seemed so long ago now.

"Oh arr, yes," said Hagrid. "To see a troll in the school...for it to take the lives of students...I never thought it could happen."

"But things like this have happened before," I said. "Vol...He Who Shall Not Be Named did some crazy shi...stuff." I was trying to show Hagrid some respect. I did kind of like the big lug.

"Arr, indeed he did. But this...this had nothing to do with the Dark Lord. And that's what scares me, young master. Someone else was responsible for this. There is a mind out there of immeasurable evil. And we have no idea who it is." This was surprisingly deep from Hagrid. We sat in silence for a few moments.

"Hagrid, you must know Hogwarts pretty well," I said.

"Well, I know the grounds better than anyone and the school better than most, yes," he said.

"Have you ever seen...a boy. Older than me, dirty...scarred. Scared. Voiceless. Carrying an axe. In chains, I think, or dragging them...have you ever seen anything like that?"

"I...I thought I imagined it," said Hagrid. "I saw what you described once...trying to get into the secret entrance to Hufflepuff house. I told Sprout but..."

"Wait," I said. "There's a secret entrance to Hufflepuff?"

"Oops!" said Hagrid. "You're not meant to know...all the houses have secret entrances to their common room. But forget I said anything..."

"Show me," I said.

"It's getting late, young sir, you really should get some sleep..."

"SHOW ME!" I screamed. I knew this was important. Hagrid nodded.

"Very well," he said.
 
Hagrid took me to the secret entrance. It was in the side of a tree, some distance from Hufflepuff cellar.

"So all the common rooms have secret entrances, eh? The students aren't supposed to know?" I asked

"You're supposed to find them for yourself, young master," said Hagrid. "The older students sometimes pass the knowledge down. This isn't the only Hufflepuff entrance..."

"I've never heard of any of them!" I said. "Okay, wait...maybe I do." Stabbie used secret entrances, of course, and Sprout seemed to have one.

"Some are more used than others...I hadn't seen anyone use this one for years," said Hagrid, clearing branches away.

"Maybe all the Huffters were too thick to find it?" I suggested.

"Aye, probably...no, I'm sure that's not it," said Hagrid, correcting himself, but I knew it was true. "Well, you can use it to get back to your dorm now...get some sleep, lad."

"Thanks Hagrid," I said. "So it's just like a tunnel or...?"

"Search me, I'm far too big to fit in there!" said Hagrid. I nodded. He waved goodbye and walked off, humming away to himself. He'd left the door in the tree open. It was perfectly disguised. If you didn't know it was there, you'd never spot it. I climbed inside and shut the door behind me. I was in a tunnel, as I had expected. I could see nothing. I crawled forward, it was the only thing to do. I kept crawling on and on...until I fell through the floor.

I landed in a room. It was not a part of the Hufflepuff Common Room or Dorm. It looked older than that, like no one had been there...and yet I could see something. I took out my wand and cast a simple illumination spell. There were photos stuck to the wall. I gasped. They were photos of various Hufflepuff students...including Hugh, I noticed, quite a few of him. There were some of Sprout which were blackened out, strangely. Like the person who had done this hated her. And, in the middle, with circles around it, was a phot of me. What the fuck?

I could see a passage leading out of the room. Given how far down we were, it must have read to the basement. The crazed teenager with the axe. This was his lair. And so close to Hufflepuff house. I had to tell someone...not Stabbie. Sprout? She seemed to be a target...the Sorting Hat. Of course. This had been my secret mission, to find the evil in Hufflepuff, and I'd done it at last...

I heard a rattling of chains again. I jumped up the hole I'd fallen down (the cieling, such as it was, was thankfully low.) I pulled myself up. I crawled as fast as I could. It took longer than I thought it would, but eventually I found myself emerging inside Hufflepuff's Coomon Room, from a panel in the wall I'd never even looked at before. I was exhausted. It had been such a long day. I had to sleep first, I decided. Then I'd tell the Sorting Hat everything. I went to bed.

I awoke being shaken by a sixth year student named Dean Renolds.

"Hugo, wake up...Hugh's disappeared!"
 
I like how Hagrid is basically retarded, just like in the books.
 
I was sitting alone in the bedroom trying to make sense of everything Dean had just told me. It turned out Hugh had disappeared from his bedroom at some time during the night, while I had been asleep. There was no sign of a break-in. Well, there wouldn't be, would there? It was obvious to me that the crazed teenager with the axe had taken Hugh. Then it hit me. Roger Fry. He was the crazed teenager. He was the evil in Hufflepuff. And he'd taken Hugh, his brother.

It was all my fault. I was wracked with guilt. I could feel it, physically. I should have figured it out sooner. It was so obvious that it had been Roger all along. After his disappearance he'd hid in the secret tunnels and cast evil spells on all the other houses, for the glorification of Hufflepuff. He'd planted the bombs at Halloween. He'd tried to kill everyone in the end, though. That was odd. I couldn't make sense of that part...yet. It didn't matter. I should have went straight to the Sorting Hat instead of going to bed! Told it everything I knew. I hadn't and now Hugh was gone. Probably dead. He was a prick but he didn't deserve to be murdered by his crazy brohter in a secret underground room!

I should go the Hat now, I thought to myself. Tell it everything. But...I felt ashamed. I actually started to cry as I thought about what I'd done. The Sorting Hat had trusted me. How was I going to look it in the brim now?

And how much help could a talking hat really give me?

"I'll do it myself," I sad out loud. "I'll rescue Hugh from his mental brother! And if I die in the process...so be it!"

"Die?" asked a voice. I span round and noticed that Jonas Shrub, the kid with an extra ear growing out of his face, was sitting on his bed.

"You never told me you were here!" I said.

"I was here all along while you were crying! I didn't think you even liked Hugh!" said Jonas.

"You...you shouldn't have been listening in," I said, angry.

"I have an extra ear, I hear everything," shrugged Jonas.

"Well...fuck off!" I said. But it was I who grabbed my wand and left the bedroom. The Common Room was busy, so I coulnd't access the secret tunnel through there. I dind't think the panel opened both ways anyway. I headed outsid and to the tree Hagrid had shown me the night before. I was so determined to save Hugh that I hadn't actually given any thought to what I was going to do.

I crawled into the tunnel. I held my wand in my teeth as I crawled. I finally came to the hole I'd fallen through the night before. I couldn't see anything down it, but I listened carefully. There was a whimpered noise. Hugh, must have been. I'd get him out of there. Roger might have an axe but that was no match for my wand...why did Roger use an axe anyway, I wondered? He was obviously highly skilled at magic, surely he'd have a wand of his own...but before I could think about that anymore, something jumped over the whole at me.

"FUCK!" I said. The thing was right on my face...it was covering my mouth.

"Keep your voice down, kid!" said Stabbie.

To his and my own surprise, I gave him a big hug.
 
"Stabbie!" I whispered. "How did you know where I was?"

"You think I'd just abandon you, kid?" he asked. I couldn't really see his little face in the dark, but I was picturing him looking hurt. "I followed you yesterday, made sure nothing bad happened to ya. Saw Hagrid showing you the secret entrance. Then when you ran off this morning I figured you were coming here."

"So you know about these tunnels?"

"I know about many tunnels, kid, I'm Stabbie! Haven't been down this one for a few months though. That hole is new..."

"It leads to a secret room where Roger Fry is hiding out. He's got Hugh."

"Well let's fucking rescue him then!"

"Stabbie...I'm sorry for the things I said to you. I was...I was being a spacko."

"Forget it, brah! Don't want you going all soft when we're about to kick some arse!" I nodded.

"Let's do it," I said. Stabbie and I dropped down the hole. I had my wand out, he had his knife. I cast an illumination spell quickly. Hugh was sitting on the floor. He did not look normal.

"Hugoooooo?" he said. "Go awaaaaaaaaay!"

"I'm here to rescue you," I said.

"Yeah, show some gratitude, you brat!" said Stabbie, looking around Hugh. "Looks like he's been under a sedation spell and he's just coming around. You'll probably have to drag him out of here."

"I need to find Roger," I said, looking down the tunnel he had vanished down the previous night. "I need to end this now! Prove myself to the Hat!"

"This isn't about some wankhole hat!" said Stabbie. "You're here to rescue Hugh and get the fuck out of here. Then we'll get help and hunt down Roger! Now come on, help me get him up!"

"Fine," I said. But just as I turned my back on the tunnel, I heard the now familiar rattling of chains. I spun round, my wand at the ready. Roger came charging out with his axe. I may have only had one shot at him. He would kill me, I knew that. I had to stop him...

But I just couldn't bring myself to utter the killing curse. This wasn't like reading about one of Potter's adventures. This was real, this was immediate and in that moment I couldn't take another human life. I quickly cast a stunning spell instead...Roger ducked around it. The axe was high above his head now, ready to come down with me. I was pinned to the ground in fear.

"Stupefy!" I managed to get out again, at the last possibly moment. It hit Roger and sent him reeling back, right down the tunnel.

"Aieeee!" he screamed as he fell. I scrambled up to the edge of the tunnel but I couldn't see him now. It was so dark down there and I could feel something now...something evil. And it didn't feel like Roger. I backed away from the tunnel.

"Come on kid, let's go!" said Stabbie. I didn't argue this time.
 
We managed to get Hugh out of the tunnel. He seemed to be recovering from the sedation spell. He kept looking back, like he wanted to go back down to his brother. I wanted to ask Hugh some questions, so I got Stabbie to check if the coast was clear before dragging Hugh into the Hufflepuff Common Room. Everyone else was at lessons (it was still the morning, remember?) or out hunting for Hugh on the grounds.

"Right," I said, placing Hugh on a chair somewhat roughly. "Start talking, punk!"

"Yeah, start talking, ya cunt!" said Stabbie.

"Stabbie, please, go easy on the little shit!" I said. We were playing bad cop/worse cop.

"I'll stab his flaps!" said Stabbie. I didn't really know what that meant. I gave Hugh a look.

"You took me away from my brother!" he cried.

"Your brother is evil!" I said.

"No, he's not!" said Hugh. "He's been missing for a year!"

"And in that time there's been the great broomstick pile-up, the brick monster attack, Ravenclaw's common room exploding, the bombings at Halloween and just yesterday the war troll attack! How many more must die, Hugh?"

"HOW MANY?" asked Stabbie, menacingly.

"I'm not telling you anything!" said Hugh, folding his arms.

"People have died, you idiot! What do you think Dumbledore's going to do when he finds out you had something to do with it?"

"I didn't!"

"You're trying to protect your murdering brother!"

"He ani't no murderer! Leave me alone!"

"Start talking or I set Stabbie on you!" I said.

"GRRRRR!" said Stabbie, brandishing his knife.

"I...you're wrong, you're just wrong!" said Hugh at last. "Roger got involved in some bad stuff last year, but..."

"Him and some other students decided to make Hufflepuff great," I said. "The Fat Friar gave them the idea, purely by accident. Roger and the rest plotted to hurt the other houses to make Hufflepuff look better!"

"That was just talking!" said Hugh. "Roger told me later...the other students backed out pretty fast. But Roger, he was smart. SMARTER THAN YOU! Even Sprout said so. He started experimenting, okay, that's all he's guilty of!"

"With dark magic," I said.

"Yeah, okay...but there was a girl involved too. He told me...he didn't tell me who she was. I think they were shagging though. Well, I know they were, he told me so proudly...she encouraged him."

"Don't blame it on the pussy!" said Stabbie.

"What else do you know?" I asked.

"Nothing...well, okay. Roger came to me. He told me he'd found something big, underneath the school."

"The Chamber Of Secrets?" I asked.

"DEEPER! OLDER!" said Hugh, looking worried now. "It scared Roger, but it excited him too. He told me he'd had an...an offer. From...a dark power."

"Voldemort!" I said.

"Eek!" said Hugh. "No! He said it was something even older than...He Who Cannot Be Named. He said he'd made contact and things were about to get interesting. He said he really would make Hufflepuff great."

"And you never thought to tell anyone any of this while all this shit was going down?" I asked.

"Roger died!" said Hugh. I wasn't expecting that.

"That's ridiculous, I've seen him myself," I said.

"He was expelled, kicking out of Hogwarts," said Hugh. "Dumbledore made a big announcment about it, about Roger being caught using dark magic. Some of the other students were kicked out too, but I don't think they were ever as involved with Roger. But after that, he came to me, at night, right here in this common room. He told me he'd been set up. That he'd defied the evil power, that he'd realised what his girlfirned had been telling him to do was wrong. He was so scared, scared for me too. I heard someone coming. He told me to hide. I wouldn't...and he used stupefy on me. I woke up just in time...to see him die. Someone, a woman, shot him with her wand. She was young, but she wasn't any student I recognised. He...he disappeared right before my eyes! She said I'd be next if I told anyone then she was gone."

"Could have been a transportation spell," mused Stabbie.

"This doesn't add up," I said. "Roger was part of something evil, then he gets cold feet? Then this girl no one's mentioned before kills him?"

"She was the bad one, she was behind it all!" said Hugh.

"Is that everything?" I asked. "Realy everything?"

"He took me last night...but he wasn't going to hurt me. I think he was trying to protect me from his girlfriend. He put a spell on me."

"And did he say anything to you?"

"That's the thing," said Hugh, looking terrified now. "When he came last night...he didn't have a tongue!"

"What the fuck!" said Stabbie.
 
Stabbie and I headed to Dumbledore's office to fill the Head Master and the Sorting Hat in on everything. Hugh had been of no further use. Stabbie said he couldn't think of a reason why Roger wouldn't have a tongue and it confused me too. Roger couldn't cast spells if he couldn't speak, that was why he'd been chasing me around with an axe. So he must have lost his tongue at some point after summoning the War Troll, right? And who was this girlfriend Roger had told Hugh about?

There was no answer when I knocked on Dumbledore's door, but a few seconds later the door opened by itself. Stabbie and I went in. Dumbledore was nowhere to be found. Not even the paintings of the former Head Masters were awaked. But the hat was sitting there in its usual spot no the desk. I picked it up. I stared it in its face. What WAS this hat, I wondered? Had it ever been a man? A man who was transformed into a hat? Or was it simply a living hat? Whatever the fuck a living hat is? It gave me the creeps, but I was still working for it so I had to give it an update. I placed the hat on my head.

"WHO DARES WAKEN THE SORTING HAT," it shouted.

"You know who it is, you can read my mind," I said.

"Ah, Hugo," said the Hat. "And it seems you have something to report. I told the Hat everything. I didn't know if it had already read my mind and therefore knew exactly what I was going to say, but it let me talk on and on anyway, listening intently.

"Excellent work, Hugo!" it said at last. "I knew I was correct in placing my faith in you! The evil has finally been uncovered!"

"Well, so it seems," I said. "But there's still some loose ends..."

"Little things, nothing important!" said the Hat, happy.

"But what about the girlfriend?" I asked.

"Just some slapper, I'm sure," said the Hat.

"And the evil under the school, the dark power behind all of this?" I ask.

"A fantasy!" said the Hat. "I read Roger Fry's mind when I sorted him. He wanted to be somebody. He was angry at being sorted to Hufflepuff, just as you were! He thought he was destined for greatness. It would be typical of someone of his personality to invent such a wild story to explain his actions. No, the only evil in this school comes from Roger Fry himself. I will send for a team of Aurors to hunt him down. Don't worry about Roger Fry!"

This all felt wrong. It couldn't be over this easily. "Can I at least assist the Aurors?" I asked.

"I'm sure they'll want to talk to you, but actually being involved in the hunt for Roger, that would be far too dangerous! You really shouldn't even have attempted to rescuse Fry's brother. Not that I'm not impressed! Don't worry, I'll tell Professor Dumbledore everything and you shall be rewarded. You might even be able to leave Hufflepuff and join Gryffindor...or Slytherin if you want!"

"NO!" I said. "This isn't...this isn't right. This isn't finished yet! There's things that don't add up!"

"Nonsense," said the dismissive Hat. "Everything is wrapped up with plenty of time for me to start work on next year's School Song!"

"WHAT!?" I said, aghast.

"Well, that's why I gave you this task," said the Hat. "I have great responsibility in writing this song, I had to assign someone to take care of things for me. And you've done it quicker than I expected!!"

I pulled the hat off my head and slammed it down on the table. "This is bull!" I said.

"Calm down, kid," said Stabbie. "Maybe the Hat's right. You should let this go, Hugo. Leave it to the professionals." But Stabbie gave me a wink after saying that.

"Right...fine," I said. "Sorry for shouting. See you later, Sorty." But the hat was already back to sleep. Stabbie and I left.

"You really think there's some other hidden evil under Hogwats?" asked Stabbie.

"Yes," I said. "And I intend to find out what it is."

"And we intend to help you!" said a girl. It was Angelica, waiting outside Dumbledore's office with Mark and Jimmy.

"You three!?" I said. I hadn't given them much thought lately.

"We know everything," said Jimmy.
 
"You know nothing!" I said. "You're just kids."

"We know you were the one who rescued Hugh and that his brother is a crazed mentalist," said Jimmy.

"Stabbie, did you..." I started. My little friend shook his head.

"Thought you trust me by now," he said. "I never told no one."

"Earboy told us," said Mark. Jonas, of course, he'd heard me saying I was going to rescue Hugh. So they didn't know anymore than that.

"Well...so what? It's nothing," I said. "Rescuing Hugh, Harry Bumshit Potter does crap like that every day before breakfast."

"Harry Potter isn't a bumshit," scolded Angelica. "He's a brave, selfless young man...and so are you!"

"You're a real hero!" said Jimmy. His sincerity made me sick. "First you saved us all from being blown up, now you rescue Hugh."

"Yeah, I rescued Hugh, fine," I said. "It's over now. Aurors have been called in to find him."

"But you know where he is!" said Jimmy. "Come on, you can tell us, youre going to go and find himself, aren't you?"

"Not himself!" said Stabbie. I gave him an angry look. "Oops. I mean, no, he's not going to do shit."

"How'd you make friends with Gollum anyway?" asked Mark, giving Stabbie a disgusted look.

"I'll Gollum you, Slytherin shit!" said Stabbie.

"Stabbie, sssh," I said. "Listen, you three, it doens't matter what I'm going to do next. It doesn't involve you. Go back to your quiet little first year classes, learn more bogey based hexes and leave me the fuck alone!"

"We want to help you," said Angelica, as if she hadn't hear what I'd just said. "You need friends fighting by your side, the same way Harry Potter does."

"We all agreed we wouldn't let you do this alone," said Jimmy. I was annoyed but also quite touched by this. They really did care about me.

"Even you?" I asked Mark.

"What, just because I'm in Slytherin you think I'm evil?" he said. "I saw what that Warrior Troll did. I watched it eat students alive. I'm not down with that shit. We in Slytherin care about this school as much as the other houses. More, in fact! I'm not going to let anything bad happen if it can be prevented."

What could I tell them? Yes, it was nice that they cared about me...but they could be killed. Roger was dangerous, he'd cast poweful spells before and nearly took my head off with an axe. I couldn't let the three of them come alone with me.

"Well I only have one thing to say," I said. "FUCK YOU ALL! YOU'RE NOT MY FRIENDS. YOU NEVER WERE. NONE OF YOU COULD UNDERSTAND ME. YOU HAVEN'T STARTED WANKING YET! I'm older than you children, I've seen things, I've done things! You're right, I am a hero. None of you are. Go back to your rooms and drink some warm milk and try to get to sleep without having nightmares."

"But Hugo," said Angelica, putting her arm on me. I pushed her back, somewhat roughly.

"Oy!" said Jimmy.

"Back off, butthole, or I'll crucio you!" I said, a wild look in my eyes. I stormed off, Stabbie behind me.

"That was quite convincing, kid!" he said. "Pretending you hate them to protect them. It looks like they believed you! Looks like they hate you now!"

"Yeah," I said, sadly. "That's just what I wanted."

We didn't say another word. We went straight outside, then to the tree, then down the tunnel and into the secret rumour. I made my way to the entrace to the deeper tunnel with a purpose...and found it blocked up.

"Fuck!" said Stabbie.

"But I saw Roger in the basement before," I said. "Can't we get to him from there?"

"I know every tunnel in this schoo, kid," said Stabbie. "There's no tunnerl connecting the basement to this room. That tunnel leads somewhere else. Somewhere deeper underneath the school."

"Where evil is buried..." I said and shuddered.
 
THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK.
 
I had no idea what to do after finding the tunnel blocked. I didn't know any spell that could remove solid concrete. I thought of learning a teleportation spell to get through the blockage, but Stabbie rightly pointed out that I didn't know how deep the concrete went and that I could end up materialising in solid concrete. In other words, dying horribly.

Day went by. Lessons had started up again with the school recovered from the War Troll attack and I attended all my classes. There wasn't really anything else I could do.

Jimmy, Angelica and Mark didn't try to talk to me again. No one really did. I was seen as weird by all. It was partly my fault for not spending any time with the other students soically. The truth is, while I'd made a big deal in my mind over Jimmy, Angelica and Mark being two years younger than me, I really did want to have friends. And they could have made fine friends indeed. Jimmy was brave, Angelica wise beyond her years and Mark...well, he was a bit of a stuck-up Slytherin racist, but I still liked him. But it was for the best that they had nothing to do with me.

I didn't hear anything of the Aurors the Sorting Hat had said would be called in either. Stabbie explained to me that the war against Voldemort was going badly, that his Death Eaters were causing chaos even in the muggle world now, and that all available Aurors were far too busy to come to the school. This angered me, of course. The war with Voldemort was remote whereas I'd seen for myself the chaos caused by Roger Fry. Surely someone should have been looking for him? I wanted to ask Dumbledore if he was doing anything about it, but he never seemed to be t the school.

Days turned to weeks. Nothing interesting happened at the school. I wondered if everyone but me had forgotten about Roger Fry. Maybe I really had scared him off. I tried to talk to Hugh several times but he'd say nothing to me. I didn't think he was in secret contract with Roger or anything liked that anyway.

Finally, Sprout asked me to stay behind after a Herbology class.

"Well well well," she said. "Professor Dumbledore told me everything. Well done, lad!"

"So Dumbledore does know about Roger," I said. "Good. Has he been found yet?"

"He is proving quite elusive," said Sprout. "But I think you and I both know there are bigger things going on here than Roger Fry."

"We...we do?" I said.

"Roger came to me, shortly before his diapperance last year. He told me what he'd found under Hogwarts...and I believed him."

"You mean there's something down there? Something evil?"

"Something evil and old," said Sprout. "Something I feel is stirring. Can you feel it too?" I did feel a shudder in my spine.

"I feel something," I said.

"Remember what we talked about before?" asked Sprout."

"Forbidden spells," I nodded.

"It may be time you learned them. I fear only you can help me stop this evil!"

"Surely Dumbledore, or Snape or someone..."

"Dumbledore is busy with the outside world and Snape is a dirty old pervert," said Sprout. "You are special, Hugo. Surely you have felt this?"

"I...I thought for a while I might be..."

"YOU ARE!" she said. It was so intense. I was starting to feel that maybe I was. That my destiny we to learn these forbidden spells from Sprout and stop Roger. That I would save the whole school.

"Can you...can you teach me?" I asked. It felt perverse asking. I almost felt aroused. That disturbed me deeply.

"Yes," she said, happy. "Yes I can! I'm so proud of you, Hugo. I just need to do some furhter investigating. Then I'll explain everything to you, I promise. Then you can finally become the wizard you are meant to be. We shall speak again soon. Then you'll understand."

I nodded, excited, and left her office. I didn't tell Stabbie about my converstaion with Sprout. What was I doing? What had I got myself invovled with? I didn't know yet, but I though I liked it...

The next day Stabbie woke me up early, dancing about on my bad. I'd been having a dream involving Hermione and, oddly, Sprout...doing things to each other. I was annoyed at Stabbie and swatted him away.

"Get rid of that hard on and get dressed!" he said. "Someone's gone missing!"

"Not Hugh again," I said.

"No," said Stabbie. "Sprout!"
 
[YOUTUBE]y8Kyi0WNg40[/YOUTUBE]

Mucho awesome!
 
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