MySpace is wonderful

[Colonel Kira's Left Tit]

Ever notice how everyone is on MySpace these days? William Shatner, Oscar Goldman, John F. Kennedy, Vina from Talos IV...they all have MySpace pages. It's the latest thing! But this isn't really about famous, dead, or famous dead people. It's also a great place to keep up with the doings of your own personal enemies.

Case in point. Ex-girlfriends are always good targets. Some of them like to blog, and some of them may even like to blog on MySpace. Sometimes, they'll even blog about the date they are going on, and tell you when and where it is! And then someone from the past with too much time on his hands can show up and ruin the evening! Or at least that was how it was supposed to go.

Now, it may be important to note that I dumped her in the first place, so it's not like this was actually a revenge thing. I was merely bored and it sounded amusing. So, as luck would have it, I showed up in said bar (a usual haunt, too) an hour ahead of the proposed arrival time with some friends in tow and proceeded to drink. Precisely on schedule, they arrived.

When I saw she was at the bar refilling her drink, I just had to do the same. I've never seen the color drain from a person's face so...completely. Anyway, a completely awkward time was had by all, and it was all quite entertaining. We actually had a nice little discussion, laughing about old times while her date was fuming away in the next chair. Before leaving, I gave her my email address and told her to contact me if she felt like it.

Today I received this in my inbox, after no further communication after that night:

Do you ever think about me? Do you want to be happy? Do you want to be loved so much you can't even imagine your life without that person? Do you think there will come a time when you won't be scared? Do you find me attractive? Do you think you could ever find comfort in my arms? Do you know what you do to me? Do you leave me in the dark on purpose? Do you consciously keep stringing me along? Do you think you could ever love me? Do you hear my heart calling out to you? Do you think you could enjoy being in someone's thoughts every second of every day? Do you know how terrified I am that I may never get the chance to love you the way you deserve to be loved? Do you want to be with me? Do you think you could ever share with me how you truly feel? Do you think I am crazy? Do you see my heart pounding out of my chest every time I get near you? Do you know that I can no longer listen to some of my favorite songs because they remind me of you and I start to cry? Do you know how hard it is to wait on love? Do you know that I would wait a thousand lifetimes for you? Do you know how wonderful you are? Do you know how sexy you are? Do you know that my heart aches for you? Do you know that I've never felt this way about another human being? Do you know that I can't get over you? Do you know that my soul tells me it's you? Do you know how much I love you? Do you know that I desperately need you to answer these questions? Do you even care?

:retard:

I'm sure she stole that whole mess from someplace, but all I took away from it was:

Do you think I am crazy?

Why yes! Yes I do!

Discuss.

 

[Gagh]

By using MySpace you are lining the pockets of Rupert Murdoch.

Fuck that.

 

[Gonad]

MySpace is fun for that stuff.

 

[Gagh]

Is Fox News fun?

 

[Gonad]

I used to watch Fox News almost nonstop in 1998 and 1999. It was about the same level of fun.

 

[Gonad]

The following posts are reprints of my posts from a different thread:

Here is a myspace blog that should have been set to private.

Men suck.....


As usual. It never fails to amaze me how they can not care, not even like or respect someone but they can still have sex with them, even if they think that person is repulsive to them in almost every other way. What's that about? Geez. Maybe women just straight up need to stop giving it. I don't know. Maybe I'm just a dumbass for ever thinking I could trust people. Yup maybe that's it.

I miss C----, she needs to come for a visit (I know she comes down all the time but I have only seen her once!!!). Maybe I just need to get a car. That's obvious if nothing else. Maybe I need to stop being such a flake (that's another thing that's obvious). Well I love all my friends and family and it is Christmas right? Happy happy. Love you all in a purely friend kind of way. Hope everyone enjoys their holiday season. Later.

Wow! REPULSIVE!?!? Did she come up with that herself or did some guy actually use that word? Anyways, here is the comment she promptly deleted (but not before I saved it!)

hey c----. sent a comment like 20 minutes ago, said it worked just fine, yet here

i am again, with a blank slate. how many times have i offered to just give you a car? you were so sure youd have a bran new car, "any day now" well, that was 2004, it is now very nearly 2007. its a real shame, it was a very good letter, if i do say so myself. i just want to say, it hurts enough being without you everyday, but for you to say you have no trust in me at all? you look so hard for true love, i AM the one for you, you ARE the one for me. you prefer guys who are the worst kind of trash imaginable, have kids they dont even talk to, much less feed or clothe. sneaking around behind their wives back. i know i did you wrong, do you think a single day goes by for me i dont stay awake thinking, shoulda woulda coulda? but i never gave up, you told me once that you woul always try to talk it through, work it out, you PROMISED me you would never just give up. youve done more to break my heart than you admit. broken or mint, my heart is still yours. an nothing or nobody can ever change that. damn, ive waited over 18 months, and no, i dont regret it for a second. you deserve a man who will kiss each toe, one by one when your are tired and sore. a man who would walk over broken glass, to the ends of the earth. you know in your heart i am truthful. i am no more perfect than any other guy youve ever been with. but my love, is true, true as can be. you say all men only want sex, but you do believe me when i say i truly do love you, heart and soul. damn, i wish that letter hadnt gotten myseriously deleted. funny how that only happens when i write to you, never any other time, ever ever. all i want for christmas is you, c-----, if i dont get my wish this year, there is next year, or the year after that. i could just as easily do what those other guys do, lie my way into a different pair of panties every day. you know i could, damn. i could do even better cause i dont have to lie, i dont h2ave kids, i dont have a wife. coming close on to 2 full years now. im hurt, yes i am, but defeated? never, never c-----, i will wait for you until the moon runs out of helium, and the sun runs out of gas. any man who wouldnt wait for the very best, who would rather have some convenient sex with a generic slut, well, isn nearly the man you deserve. ill be here, dreaming of your sweet angel eyes, gazing into my own, your soul an mine, together again as they belong. i will be here, c-----, an you are just as welcome as you evr were, and far more welcome than i made you feel, blinded fool that i was....

m----

 

[Gonad]

Here is another set of MySpace Blog comments that got out of hand.

First, from A----:

YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE R----, BUT I THINK IT IS FUCKIN FUNNY AS FUCK, YOU AREN'T AN ASSHOLE TO ME, YOU JUST TELL ABOUT HOW YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE TO EVERYONE ELSE.LOL. SEEING HOW THIS IS A TALKIN TRASH BLOG, I HAVE SOME TRASH TO TALK ABOUT A DUMB BITCH THAT DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE HER ALCOHOL!!!!!

THIS DUMB BITCH USED TO BE MY FRIEND FOR A LONG TIME....UNTIL SHE GOT DRUNK AND PISSED ME OFF FOR THE LAST TIME. SHE KNOWS THAT SHE CAN'T DRINK, BUT SHE DOES IT ANYWAY, THEN SHE GOES ON A DRUNKIN RAMPAGE. & FOR SOME REASON SHE THINKS IT'S EVERYONE ELSES FAULT BUT HER OWN.....WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT????? SUPPOSEDLY I AM THE CRAZY ALCOLHOLIC, BUT THE ONLY TIME THAT THERE IS ANY DRUNK RAGE IS WHEN SHE IS HERE DRINKING. SHE RUINED HER WELCOME WITH ME AND MY FAMILY. WE'VE DELT WITH HER DRUNK ASS ONE TOO MANY TIMES. I AM DONE THIS TIME!!!! FUCK THAT BITCH!!!! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, AND OTHER PEOPLE PROBABLY DO TOO, IF YOU'VE SEEN THE RAGING DRUNK IN ACTION, I KNOW YOU HAVE R----!!!!!!

DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE!!!!!

Then; from M---- (edited by R---):

This comment was edited some info just no one needs to know! but damb is this juicy It comes from m---- to a---- the person that left the comment up above this haha Fight bitches!!!
***
Dirty skank slut named a---- that used to be a theifing assed slut friend of mine until she stole out of my home and my car.She did coke and got wasted wow, what a slut! she can't stop opening her legs, and that is probobly why she uses feminine deoderant spray just look under her sink.She sure smells like a sluuty fucking bitch to me.Oh, and by the way, I fuckin hate you and If the money you borrowed was all it is gonna cost to realize that you really were a skank whore than it was money well spent you stupid bitch!Also, your dad said that he was sick of you too.He said that it was your last two weeks at home you dumb bitch.Speaking of dumb a----, how are you going to really get a loan for like 5 grand to finish school for a job that pays minimum wage?are you really that stupid?Yes, you are.That is probobly why you have'nt been able to get a job for what? 6months since you finished school.I'm callin w----, I like her and you know what, your are such a slut.I hate sluts.You promised when we became friends again that you were'nt a slut anymore and guess what?That makes you a slutty liar.Go fuck some more married men, you bar whore!You a crazy slut alcoholic bitch assed skanky whore and I fucking hate you forever!Your the real fugly slut bitch!go clean your skank assed pussy if its still a pussy.go use your fds spray you nasty bitch, and by the way did I mention Fuck you!"

BTW, none of these comments were ever deleted, which makes it even funnier! But wait! There's more!

A---- has more to say!

YOU ARE JUST JEALOUS CUZ YOU CAN ONLY GET DIRTY PHSYCO JAIL BIRDS FROM COUNTY, THAT HAVE ONLY SEEN THE DICK, THEY WILL TAKE THE FIRST THING THEY SEE WHEN THEY GET OUT AND THAT IS YOUR FAT, NASTY, FRIED EGG TITTIE ASS. AND WHEN IT COMES MY PUSSY BITCH YOU WERE THE ONE THAT LICKED IT, AND YOU LIKED IT.....AND I DIDN'T LICK YOURS.... HMMMM WHO STINKS NOW BITCH!!!! YOU JUST NEED THE DRAMA IN YOUR LIFE OR YOU'RE NOT HAPPY...BRING IT ON CRAZY BITCH!!!!!

And more! (Again from M----, and again edited by R----)

Once again this persons comment was edited for content.Peoples personal info does not belong on the page play by the rules and it is just as much fun and why you take me off your friends page what the fuck i do to you shit i like you i think you are cool but im not cool enough for miss m---- well shit i was when you was getting fucked up at my appartment and you stole my cocain so what now

"

I had this girl who use to be my best friend.We have our b-days together every year since we met.She moved to another state and I went to visit her for our birthdays.We got into 2 fights and she is a major bitch.I never want to speak to her again.She is a skanky whore, a theif, and a fucking bitch-assed slut!I let her borrow some money and she is not gonna pay me back of course, like usual because she won't have enough for beer and cocaine then.She also stole from me.I bought her stank ass some perfume for her b-day and a shirt.I never have gotton a present from her because some how she is always way to broke.But she always has money for a fifth or some weed or to buy a guy she wants to fuck a drink.Seriously, she is a skank.And who is gonna buy a man a drink?So She takes my keys away from me because she does'nt want me to drink and drive so I willingly hand them over not knowing when I leave your going to be pillfering through my stuff & stealing from me.I left because C----, a----'s booty call is an asshole, not because of my keys.He really did'nt need to say I was his bitch, or that my friend was a fag, he may have been gay but fuck that shit!You don't just go off on someone like that, especially if you don't know him! I tell her she's better than that, and why put up with the prick that won't call you his girlfriend because he just wants to use you.You are stupid bitch.A---- is also a theif, I just bought her perfume from hollister and she stole my fucking body spray from victoria secret.You dumb bitch.I have a lot of perfume so your lucky and I guess you do stink like a skank does so go ahead and keep it you smeely bitch! and I let you get away with stealing a couple times when you came to my house.Like when my flat iron spray was missing all of a suuden the day you left to go home, yeah right bitch it was you!Then when you accidentally take my clothes with you and my purses!Also, I never say anything cause I just see the best in her and think that maybe it was an accident but it keeps on happening.I told you to lose my number and I meant it bitch!Also, next time you are having men problems don't ask me for help.You a slut and there is no helping a slut.Like you said You love the dick.You are so nasty.We are completly opposite.I am not at all like you.I stay home with my son, I pay my own bills, I have a fulltime job, I bought my own car, I buy you food and makeup and clothe you broke ass ho.Remeber that song broke ho's are a no no, broke ho's are an N O N O for sure!That's you bitch!Go away.I fucking hate you, I don't need dumb assed imature bitches in my life like you.Go grow up and get a life.Stop living off men and your family.Your an adult so start acting like it.You sure do like to preach about how I don't discipline my son enough or how my friends are bad influences in the past but, this whole time you have been in denial about yourself.You are worse than anyone I have been around.I'm glad that your not going to come up here and smoke in my house, around my son, and be a drunk hooker.I had a long talk with your dad at the bar and he is sick of you using your family too.He was'nt sure if he should just kick you out and tell you to grow up or what.He did'nt want you to have tyo go back to A---- but he was sick of you acting like everybody owes you something too.Your mom and dad said that they were kicking you out in 2 weeks and that they hoped you had a good bday but this was it.They are poor and can't support your retarded ass either.A---- was sick of it too.Me too.I can't even buy something to eat for me and my son without buying something for your ass too cause of course you are broke again, like always.I have taken you out so many times bitch.you never took me out once.I took you out on MY birthday and yours, and your dumb friend and your dad.Do you think I really want to pay for you?You must have gotton it twisted, cause you are not going to take advantage of me anymore, I don't want to talk to you or see you again!You are no longer J----'s godmother, I don't know what I was thinking.I thought you were my friend but you got over on me to many times.I'm sick of it and I would rather have no friends than to have a friend like you.I don't need anymore stupid people around I am cleaning house and I am done!Stay in Oregon you dirty hippy bitch!And also, your setting a bad examle for O----, she stole my Abercrombie shirt.Fuck you! having unprotected sex with numerous people and doing numerous drugs and go talk to someone elso about it.

th.is is an excerpt from my blog! go ahead and edit it.I know that A---- wants to brag about kinda being with me but ion reality, B---- ate her out and I stuck my finger in it & once I smelled it I backed away.Also if you want to talk shit about my tits why don't you we talk about yours! I bet you think your so hot because you have big boobs, but you also HAVE INVERTED NIPPLES! Yep INVERTED NIPPLES!And if you want to call me fat, go ahead.I lost a lot of weight and I don't have a stomach like yours.Talk about in need of a tummy tuck.You also need lipo from your back cause damm girl you got hella rolls on your back and on your sides!That is straight nasty.You have completely no ass also.At least I have an excuse for having a big ass, I had a baby but you just need exercise you dumb cunt.And by the way your face is fucked.You want to talk trash, I'll talk more bitch and everything I have to say is real so come on bitch, lets go.Bring it on.you wanna dish it then go ahead and take it like you know how to do so good.Is there anyone that you have'nt slept with A----?Well also if you want your sisters mp3 you can have it if you pay me my money you borrowed otherwise FUCK YOU BITCH! Peace!

"

A---- has more to add:

OK BITCH....LET'S FUCKIN GO.....YOU THINK I NEED LIPO BITCH, WHY DO I ONLY WEIGH 120lbs??????? YOU KNOW I'VE LOST WEIGHT, BUT I WENT ON A HEALTHY DIET........YOU STARVED YOURSELF...YEAH THATS SMART, WHY DON'T YOU GO STICK YOUR FINGER DOWN YOUR THROUGHT AGAIN BITCH!!!!! INSTEAD OF BREAST IMPLANTS WHY DON'T YOU GO GET AN ASS REDUCTION. I DON'T NEED PLASTIC SURGERY BECAUSE I FUCKIN LOOK GOOD AND YOU KNOW IT AND THATS WHY YOU HATE ME SOOOOOOO MUCH, JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE YOU HATE CUZ THEY LOOK BETTER THEN YOUR NASTY ASS!!! JUST GO GET YOUR PLASTIC SURGERY LIKE YOU PLANNED SO NO ONE HAS TO LOOK AT YOUR UGLY ASS AGAIN!!!!! HEY AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT YOU EVER AGAIN, CUZ I FUCKIN HATE YOU BITCH. YOU ARE THE ONE THAT IS A NASTY SKANK THAT WILL CHILD MOLEST EVERY YOUNG BOY THAT COMES WITHIN 20ft OF YOUR SICK ASS. BEWARE ALL YOU YOUNG BOYS OUT THERE M---- WILL RAPE YOU WITH HER BIG ASS!!!!! OH YEAH AND IF YOU JUST GOT OUT OF PRISON.....M---- WILL FUCK, SHE LOVES PRISONERS!!!! I STILL HAVE MORE DIRT, BUT I HAVE A LIFE SO FUCK YOU BITCH!!!!!!!!

I decided against making the text in these quotes the colors of the originals.... I guess it is more fun to insult in pinks and light greens.

 

[Mirah]

I cannot believe how many people tell about thier personal lives on my space. Is nothing sacred any more? Don't answer that. And Wow CKLT, that girl really wants you.

 

[Tamar_Garish]

Ever notice how everyone is on MySpace these days? William Shatner, Oscar Goldman, John F. Kennedy, Vina from Talos IV...they all have MySpace pages. It's the latest thing! But this isn't really about famous, dead, or famous dead people. It's also a great place to keep up with the doings of your own personal enemies.

Case in point. Ex-girlfriends are always good targets. Some of them like to blog, and some of them may even like to blog on MySpace. Sometimes, they'll even blog about the date they are going on, and tell you when and where it is! And then someone from the past with too much time on his hands can show up and ruin the evening! Or at least that was how it was supposed to go.

Now, it may be important to note that I dumped her in the first place, so it's not like this was actually a revenge thing. I was merely bored and it sounded amusing. So, as luck would have it, I showed up in said bar (a usual haunt, too) an hour ahead of the proposed arrival time with some friends in tow and proceeded to drink. Precisely on schedule, they arrived.

When I saw she was at the bar refilling her drink, I just had to do the same. I've never seen the color drain from a person's face so...completely. Anyway, a completely awkward time was had by all, and it was all quite entertaining. We actually had a nice little discussion, laughing about old times while her date was fuming away in the next chair. Before leaving, I gave her my email address and told her to contact me if she felt like it.

Today I received this in my inbox, after no further communication after that night:




:retard:

I'm sure she stole that whole mess from someplace, but all I took away from it was:


Why yes! Yes I do!

Discuss.

So...what are you going to do?

 

[Colonel Kira's Left Tit]

Well, I already did what I was going to do over the weekend. If you know what I mean.

A couple of problems. She's become one of those weird cat ladies, for one. She's managed to collect four so far, and wants more. I'm allergic to cats. I break out in hives and my airways lock up and a miserable time is had by all. So that was a fun weekend.

Second, she's still a certified nutball, but possibly even worse than she was before. An attractive one, mind you, and I can deal with crazy people. Just not that particular clingy "MARRY ME!" variety. Methinks her bio-clock is ticking just a wee bit too loudly.

So, back to the reject pile with her. On the plus side, I saved that poor other schmuck she was targeting from a life of nagging and general psychosis. And it'll probably give her something more to bitch about in her endless "woe is me" blogging world.

And I may try it again in a year or so. :twisted: