The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
"Why, you did."
"I didn't nuther."
"I didn't nuther."
Troll Kingdom
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Nascent Drama
- Thread starter Bickendan
- Start date
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
"You did!"
"I didn't."
"I didn't."
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
"You did."
"I never said nothing of the kind."
"I never said nothing of the kind."
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
"Well, what did you say, then?"
"Said he come to take the sea baths -- that's what I said."
"Said he come to take the sea baths -- that's what I said."
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
"Well, then, how's he going to take the sea baths if it ain't on the sea?"
"Looky here," I says; "did you ever see any Congress-water?"
"Looky here," I says; "did you ever see any Congress-water?"
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
"Yes."
"Well, did you have to go to Congress to get it?"
"Well, did you have to go to Congress to get it?"
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
"Why, no."
"Well, neither does William Fourth have to go to the sea to get a sea bath."
"Well, neither does William Fourth have to go to the sea to get a sea bath."
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
"How does he get it, then?"
"Gets it the way people down here gets Congress-water -- in barrels. There in the palace at Sheffield they've got furnaces, and he wants his water hot. They can't bile that amount of water away off there at the sea. They haven't got no conveniences for it."
"Gets it the way people down here gets Congress-water -- in barrels. There in the palace at Sheffield they've got furnaces, and he wants his water hot. They can't bile that amount of water away off there at the sea. They haven't got no conveniences for it."
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
"Oh, I see, now. You might a said that in the first place and saved time."
When she said that I see I was out of the woods again, and so I was comfortable and glad. Next, she says:
When she said that I see I was out of the woods again, and so I was comfortable and glad. Next, she says:
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
"Do you go to church, too?"
"Yes -- regular."
"Yes -- regular."
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
"Where do you set?"
"Why, in our pew."
"Why, in our pew."
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
" Whose pew?"
"Why, ourn -- your Uncle Harvey's."
"Why, ourn -- your Uncle Harvey's."
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
"His'n? What does he want with a pew?"
"Wants it to set in. What did you reckon he wanted with it?"
"Wants it to set in. What did you reckon he wanted with it?"
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
"Why, I thought he'd be in the pulpit."
Rot him, I forgot he was a preacher. I see I was up a stump again, so I played another chicken bone and got another think. Then I says:
Rot him, I forgot he was a preacher. I see I was up a stump again, so I played another chicken bone and got another think. Then I says:
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
"Blame it, do you suppose there ain't but one preacher to a church?"
"Why, what do they want with more?"
"Why, what do they want with more?"
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
"What! -- to preach before a king? I never did see such a girl as you. They don't have no less than seventeen."
"Seventeen! My land! Why, I wouldn't set out such a string as that, not if I never got to glory. It must take 'em a week."
"Seventeen! My land! Why, I wouldn't set out such a string as that, not if I never got to glory. It must take 'em a week."
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
"Shucks, they don't all of 'em preach the same day -- only one of 'em."
"Well, then, what does the rest of 'em do?"
"Well, then, what does the rest of 'em do?"
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
"Oh, nothing much. Loll around, pass the plate -- and one thing or another. But mainly they don't do nothing."
"Well, then, what are they for?"
"Why, they're for style. Don't you know nothing?"
"Well, then, what are they for?"
"Why, they're for style. Don't you know nothing?"
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
"Well, I don't want to know no such foolishness as that. How is servants treated in England? Do they treat 'em better 'n we treat our niggers?"
"No! A servant ain't nobody there. They treat them worse than dogs."
"No! A servant ain't nobody there. They treat them worse than dogs."
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
"Don't they give 'em holidays, the way we do, Christmas and New Year's week, and Fourth of July?"
"Oh, just listen! A body could tell you hain't ever been to England by that. Why, Hare-l -- why, Joanna, they never see a holiday from year's end to year's end; never go to the circus, nor theater, nor nigger shows, nor nowheres."
"Oh, just listen! A body could tell you hain't ever been to England by that. Why, Hare-l -- why, Joanna, they never see a holiday from year's end to year's end; never go to the circus, nor theater, nor nigger shows, nor nowheres."