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Neon
- Thread starter Love Child
- Start date
NeonMercuryASH
beer, I want beer
Yeah! It's my GoTH take.
NeonMercuryASH
beer, I want beer
TK in its finest glory
NeonMercuryASH
beer, I want beer
For our E. Andromeda
Caviar Emptor by Angela Garcia as NeonMosfet/NeonMercuryASH
Caviar Emptor by Angela Garcia as NeonMosfet/NeonMercuryASH
NeonMercuryASH
beer, I want beer
Chapter I
It was Valentine's Day, somewhere in the Galaxy of Unknown Terrors. Beka Valentine, the Captain of the vessel, the Eureka Maru, wished she could be elsewhere. Even so, this would be an improvement over Valentine's Day past, when Seamus Harper, chief engineer of the Andromeda Ascendant was infested with the progeny of the Magog. Last year, he wanted nothing better, than to dump his impending doom, onto the nearest head he could find. That head belonged to Beka Valentine.
At her door, he had left, a nasty little candy basket, filled to the brim, with white mint, magogalah, arranged upon a red satin, heart shaped bed, tritely tied with roses so azuredly blue. The card was a piece of work. " Jumping Jack Flash! For when you are stoned to ash. Dry your tears if yoou emvy my infection. Just wolf down the confection. May you gain a ton!" the point was made.
Beka would have put Mr. Harper out of his misery permenantly, except Dylan Hunt, Captain of the Andromeda Ascendant, forbade that sort of mindless violence. She needed the free mooring for her own vessel and did not want to rock the boat.
This year, Beka found a box of cholat au liqueur de Menthe avec noissettes in fron of her door. She assumed it was a piece offering from Mr Harper, as he was on the bad side of his employer, Dylan Hunt. Harper needed the vote of confidence as he was one finger from permenant banishment to the hanguar deck and Eureka Maru, forever.
It was Valentine's Day, somewhere in the Galaxy of Unknown Terrors. Beka Valentine, the Captain of the vessel, the Eureka Maru, wished she could be elsewhere. Even so, this would be an improvement over Valentine's Day past, when Seamus Harper, chief engineer of the Andromeda Ascendant was infested with the progeny of the Magog. Last year, he wanted nothing better, than to dump his impending doom, onto the nearest head he could find. That head belonged to Beka Valentine.
At her door, he had left, a nasty little candy basket, filled to the brim, with white mint, magogalah, arranged upon a red satin, heart shaped bed, tritely tied with roses so azuredly blue. The card was a piece of work. " Jumping Jack Flash! For when you are stoned to ash. Dry your tears if yoou emvy my infection. Just wolf down the confection. May you gain a ton!" the point was made.
Beka would have put Mr. Harper out of his misery permenantly, except Dylan Hunt, Captain of the Andromeda Ascendant, forbade that sort of mindless violence. She needed the free mooring for her own vessel and did not want to rock the boat.
This year, Beka found a box of cholat au liqueur de Menthe avec noissettes in fron of her door. She assumed it was a piece offering from Mr Harper, as he was on the bad side of his employer, Dylan Hunt. Harper needed the vote of confidence as he was one finger from permenant banishment to the hanguar deck and Eureka Maru, forever.
NeonMercuryASH
beer, I want beer
Harper was realligning the galactic gravity meters. They were in constant need of recalibration due to the CMEs, that wreaked havoc with Andromeda's magnetic fields. He was also trying to train Trance Gemini, the ship's medical officer to take over this function. In this way, he would be freed to persue some of the ship's more interesting hardware.
He probed a point, his face wearing the mask of annoyance. the meters were going, a potentially dangerous and expensive problem. With out them, the ship was navigating blindly. This was the hardware that detected slight increases or decreases in gravitational pull associated with orbits they wanted to slip into. The bottom line was, that they could drive but not park. The 2GMs were a great bell and an even better whistle to have, because they detected the gravatational pull generated by a Behemouth Star, an uncharted singularity, dark matter, or a Nietzchean Armada, which often pulled the mass of a small moon.
Now, that the Magog Worldship was fast upon their heels, they needed to study planetary disturbances caused by distortions in the Time/Space continuum. By sensing the disturbance, they could tell how large a planet was or if it had moons. If there there was something irregular that had cut across the disturbance, they could tell by the mass of local debris, if it was natural, as in a space rock, or something unatural, as in the Nietzcheans, or worse, the Magog. In short, it was maneuvering the Mine Field with out leaving the comfort of the World of Warcraft console.
The Andromeda ascendant was a warship, meaning that her sensor range was somewhat compromised in favor of big guns and evasive hardware. Because she packed the equivalent of a Hunic Bow, she had a firing longer than anything the Nietzcheans had by a factor of three. The Nietzcheans were always looking for trouble and tended to fire at close range. They really didn't give a damn about casualties as they believed no one had a genome worthy of salvaging. To compensate for the lack of sensitivity, the Andromeda had the galactic gravity meters installed, at the loss of three slip fighters. Without them, the wobbles of slipstream could pull their compromised vessel off course.
He probed a point, his face wearing the mask of annoyance. the meters were going, a potentially dangerous and expensive problem. With out them, the ship was navigating blindly. This was the hardware that detected slight increases or decreases in gravitational pull associated with orbits they wanted to slip into. The bottom line was, that they could drive but not park. The 2GMs were a great bell and an even better whistle to have, because they detected the gravatational pull generated by a Behemouth Star, an uncharted singularity, dark matter, or a Nietzchean Armada, which often pulled the mass of a small moon.
Now, that the Magog Worldship was fast upon their heels, they needed to study planetary disturbances caused by distortions in the Time/Space continuum. By sensing the disturbance, they could tell how large a planet was or if it had moons. If there there was something irregular that had cut across the disturbance, they could tell by the mass of local debris, if it was natural, as in a space rock, or something unatural, as in the Nietzcheans, or worse, the Magog. In short, it was maneuvering the Mine Field with out leaving the comfort of the World of Warcraft console.
The Andromeda ascendant was a warship, meaning that her sensor range was somewhat compromised in favor of big guns and evasive hardware. Because she packed the equivalent of a Hunic Bow, she had a firing longer than anything the Nietzcheans had by a factor of three. The Nietzcheans were always looking for trouble and tended to fire at close range. They really didn't give a damn about casualties as they believed no one had a genome worthy of salvaging. To compensate for the lack of sensitivity, the Andromeda had the galactic gravity meters installed, at the loss of three slip fighters. Without them, the wobbles of slipstream could pull their compromised vessel off course.
NeonMercuryASH
beer, I want beer
He probably did, but I statarted this thing before that. I had to keep changing the plot as charactors quit the show. The most difficult part was that Trance was the Purple Pixie and turned into the Bronze Godess. You know. Shit like that.
NeonMercuryASH
beer, I want beer
"Damn it, I wish Dylan wasn't so crazy about getting those Coreillians into his Commonwealth," groused Harper. " They call and he comes running with slippers and the latest edition of Fish Wrap."
" Then, they told him where he could stick it." commented Trance, wryly. " Then you ended up being the one polishing the shoes."
" Well, God bless the Commonwealth," blushed Harper.
Tyr Anasazi, resident Nietzchean mercenary and professional backstabber for the good of the known galaxy, applied a viscuous substance to the firinng pin of his force lance. " Menschenheimer!" whistled Tyr. " I do believe the girl is learning. With a little practice, I think she'll be able to take off your demented little head while cooing how much she doth love thee. Yes, I believe her new found Bronzeness is more than capable! Oh Kluge of Klotz!"
" Shut the fuck up, Dude," spat Harper. " We are working. Trance! Do you see what is on the monitor?"
"Uh, one of those sin wave things that you know more about than I," said Trance. " It's all fuzzy. Bzzt Bzzt Bzzt! Again. Why are we doing this? I already have a job."
" Those are harmonics, " answered Harper." There's too much distortion and I need a better sin wave." He looked up for the first time in four hours. He took off his infared goggles. " I do not believe what you are wearing!"
" The captain ordered a stockpile of anti biotics." Trance did a little pirhouette. " I have to grow them outside. Since I changed, my old suit doesn't fit any more. The only thing I could find, that wasn't compromised, was Beka's old space bunny ski suit. Oh well, I've looked sillier."
" You didn't hear that from me," said Harper. " We still have to find the source of this impedence."
" Then, they told him where he could stick it." commented Trance, wryly. " Then you ended up being the one polishing the shoes."
" Well, God bless the Commonwealth," blushed Harper.
Tyr Anasazi, resident Nietzchean mercenary and professional backstabber for the good of the known galaxy, applied a viscuous substance to the firinng pin of his force lance. " Menschenheimer!" whistled Tyr. " I do believe the girl is learning. With a little practice, I think she'll be able to take off your demented little head while cooing how much she doth love thee. Yes, I believe her new found Bronzeness is more than capable! Oh Kluge of Klotz!"
" Shut the fuck up, Dude," spat Harper. " We are working. Trance! Do you see what is on the monitor?"
"Uh, one of those sin wave things that you know more about than I," said Trance. " It's all fuzzy. Bzzt Bzzt Bzzt! Again. Why are we doing this? I already have a job."
" Those are harmonics, " answered Harper." There's too much distortion and I need a better sin wave." He looked up for the first time in four hours. He took off his infared goggles. " I do not believe what you are wearing!"
" The captain ordered a stockpile of anti biotics." Trance did a little pirhouette. " I have to grow them outside. Since I changed, my old suit doesn't fit any more. The only thing I could find, that wasn't compromised, was Beka's old space bunny ski suit. Oh well, I've looked sillier."
" You didn't hear that from me," said Harper. " We still have to find the source of this impedence."
NeonMercuryASH
beer, I want beer
" No matter," said Harper. " We still need to find the source of the impedance."
" It's one of those ohmer things," said Trance.
" Okay," said Harper pointing at an array of brightly colored resistors, resembling jelly beans, glued to the control panel. " Pick one."
Tyr was aligning the sight meter. " If you guys are working so damned hard, why is Harper glued to that stupid shock shit, The Locksie Show, direct from the Badlands?"
On Harper's tablet, there was a close-up of Loktar preening for the camera.<< Well, Jack, all set for the interview with the cast of the Windy Nebula, this week?>>
<< So ready!>> grinned Jack, << And here's the drum roll!>>
<<Well, that should keep your Jack Dancers happy!>>
<< Hey guys!>> called Eloisel, Empress E, << Why are we keeping 'Gear in the Green Room?>>
<< Because I'm a virulent strain!>> shouted 'Gear. <<Do me a favor and keep the Jack Dancers on a leash!>>
<< Sorry,>> said Jack, << The best I can manage is to keep them on a lush.>>
<< Our first guest is here to talk about her new film "Love Bytes".>> Said Loktar. << May we have a warm welcome for Mirah?>>
<< Tell her to talk clearly,>> said Eloisel,<< Tisi still has to caption all this.>>
<< Hola all you bad girls and boys!>> beamed Mirah to thunderous applause. << You know who you are!>>
" Oh look!" cried Trance. " Mirah's wearing Monolos! I want some!"
Suddenly, Harper's tablet flashed. DUE TO TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES...
" Damn it," cursed Harper. " The impedance just jumped!"
" Ask me if I care!" poted Trance. " I already have a job. I don't need you bitching me out like I sent your precious capacitence to the moon."
" I didn't say you were," said Harper.
" Seamus, this is a stupid show," said Trance. " But I think I found the source of the impedance."
" For once the energiser bunny is right," laughed Tyr
" Shut up," barked Harper, " I don't want to miss the trailers for the Cassie Show. It's going to be star studded with Ilyana from E-Male for Hire. "
Cassie went into the studio audience.<< Well Folks, it's now time to play Spam Search! Eight ways you can win BIG!>>
<< Pick ME, ya bitch!>> screamed a young man with Captain Wacky written on his name tag, << Natalie luvs me!>>
<< But Summer's a glow!>> screamed Donovan
<< Well Dr. Dave,>> said Cassie, << We have Natalie luvs me vs Summer's a glow!>>
Before the audience could shout out their preferences , Ilyanna jumped onto the stage. << Where's my stethoscope,>> howled Dr. Dave.
" OMG!" wheezed Harper. " She is so fucking hot!"
At that moment, Ilyanna tore off her scarf, screaming, << KHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!>>
" Oh no!" cried Harper, " Incoming message from Madeleine!"
" Well then, I guess the suspense won't be killing you," laughed Tyr. " And he's late with the alimony again!"
"Tyr! You fucking idiot!" said Harper, tightly.
" If the shoe fits." Tear loaded his force lance.
" Guys!" whined Trance.
"Harper," said Tyr. " Leave and take Bugs Bunny with you. And a hunting we will go, a hunting we will go-"
" It's one of those ohmer things," said Trance.
" Okay," said Harper pointing at an array of brightly colored resistors, resembling jelly beans, glued to the control panel. " Pick one."
Tyr was aligning the sight meter. " If you guys are working so damned hard, why is Harper glued to that stupid shock shit, The Locksie Show, direct from the Badlands?"
On Harper's tablet, there was a close-up of Loktar preening for the camera.<< Well, Jack, all set for the interview with the cast of the Windy Nebula, this week?>>
<< So ready!>> grinned Jack, << And here's the drum roll!>>
<<Well, that should keep your Jack Dancers happy!>>
<< Hey guys!>> called Eloisel, Empress E, << Why are we keeping 'Gear in the Green Room?>>
<< Because I'm a virulent strain!>> shouted 'Gear. <<Do me a favor and keep the Jack Dancers on a leash!>>
<< Sorry,>> said Jack, << The best I can manage is to keep them on a lush.>>
<< Our first guest is here to talk about her new film "Love Bytes".>> Said Loktar. << May we have a warm welcome for Mirah?>>
<< Tell her to talk clearly,>> said Eloisel,<< Tisi still has to caption all this.>>
<< Hola all you bad girls and boys!>> beamed Mirah to thunderous applause. << You know who you are!>>
" Oh look!" cried Trance. " Mirah's wearing Monolos! I want some!"
Suddenly, Harper's tablet flashed. DUE TO TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES...
" Damn it," cursed Harper. " The impedance just jumped!"
" Ask me if I care!" poted Trance. " I already have a job. I don't need you bitching me out like I sent your precious capacitence to the moon."
" I didn't say you were," said Harper.
" Seamus, this is a stupid show," said Trance. " But I think I found the source of the impedance."
" For once the energiser bunny is right," laughed Tyr
" Shut up," barked Harper, " I don't want to miss the trailers for the Cassie Show. It's going to be star studded with Ilyana from E-Male for Hire. "
Cassie went into the studio audience.<< Well Folks, it's now time to play Spam Search! Eight ways you can win BIG!>>
<< Pick ME, ya bitch!>> screamed a young man with Captain Wacky written on his name tag, << Natalie luvs me!>>
<< But Summer's a glow!>> screamed Donovan
<< Well Dr. Dave,>> said Cassie, << We have Natalie luvs me vs Summer's a glow!>>
Before the audience could shout out their preferences , Ilyanna jumped onto the stage. << Where's my stethoscope,>> howled Dr. Dave.
" OMG!" wheezed Harper. " She is so fucking hot!"
At that moment, Ilyanna tore off her scarf, screaming, << KHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!>>
" Oh no!" cried Harper, " Incoming message from Madeleine!"
" Well then, I guess the suspense won't be killing you," laughed Tyr. " And he's late with the alimony again!"
"Tyr! You fucking idiot!" said Harper, tightly.
" If the shoe fits." Tear loaded his force lance.
" Guys!" whined Trance.
"Harper," said Tyr. " Leave and take Bugs Bunny with you. And a hunting we will go, a hunting we will go-"
NeonMercuryASH
beer, I want beer
Suddenly, Rommie, Andromeda's avatar, the ship made flesh, stuck in her head. " What's going on? I thought things were a little too quiet in here!" For her to register anything tha resembled human emotion, Harper had to install various sub routines into her programming. One of the side effects, however, was that if the decibel level rose above a certain level, Rommie would assume the stance of an avenging Death Angel. A night at the Disco was generally not a good idea.
Harper was so insensed, that his voice wanted to shatter glass. It didn't improve the situation that he had also sent a monitor crashing into a bulk head.
" Well, I guess we can say that Love in The Afternoon just hit the Wall of Shame," Tyr howled.
" So I leave the juvenile delinquents alone for five minutes, they tear the garage apart," Rommie screamed. At this point, the noise level was so high, that her magnetic rheo fluids stiffened and she was bent in the middle, like a human spinal spasm. The only locomotion that she could manage was the opening prance to the ballet, Copelia. " Harper," she screamed. " Adjust me!"
" He did it! He didi it!," Tyr roared, clutching his sides.
" Oh that's right. The mercenary wants to make me the bad guy. That's rich," said Harper.
" No one's the bad guy," said Rommie, her fluids stiffening her base metals tighter.
" He is!" Trance pointed at Ty
" Tyr thinks it's a hoot, that my ex wants my eyeballs for alimony even if she's in the cast of the Windy Nebula," said Harper.shit
" Oh spare me, " said Tyr, annoyed. " It's a load of over acted Viking shit, passing for monkey porn. "
" I'd ask how the anti biotics are coming, but I have other issues," said Rommie in a helium voice. " Fix me fast. Fix me now. Just fix me!"
" There," said Harper. " All better. Happy Valentine's Day! I need to be off by myself. Tell the Captain that I flound the flux problem, but I need parts." Slump shouldered, Harper left the engineering bay.
" Oh yeah?" Trance screamed after him. " I found the flux problem. Moi! Not you!. " Turning to Rommie," she sneered, "So what did you want, you glad bag full of axel grease and silicon?"
Rommie flashed a viscious smile that chilled for all its oilinessand artificiality. " Sweetie. Moi. AI. That's French for 'I have'. I have intellegence and you don't. Get it?"
Tyr broke his amazed silence. His dread locks stood on end. He cou;dn't fathom why, but he felt he had to get Trance out of Rommie's hair, and quickly. " Trance, why don't you do a space walk and go talk to your penecillan."
" Like Renfield on a fly!" Trance stuck out her tongue." Later meet me out on the starboard and I'll fix you up with some rats, Nietzchie Psycho Man!"
" I handled that badly," said Rommie to the opposite wall.
" If you say so," shrugged Tyr, gingerly trying to bow out of a bad situation. " I may surf cyber space. I'm sure there's a revolution brewing with my name stamped all over it, somewhere."
Rommie was alone. She picked up Harper's tablet. Loktar was chatting with some strange fellow, named Jason. " Hm," Rommie mused. " Why does he seem familiar?"
Harper was so insensed, that his voice wanted to shatter glass. It didn't improve the situation that he had also sent a monitor crashing into a bulk head.
" Well, I guess we can say that Love in The Afternoon just hit the Wall of Shame," Tyr howled.
" So I leave the juvenile delinquents alone for five minutes, they tear the garage apart," Rommie screamed. At this point, the noise level was so high, that her magnetic rheo fluids stiffened and she was bent in the middle, like a human spinal spasm. The only locomotion that she could manage was the opening prance to the ballet, Copelia. " Harper," she screamed. " Adjust me!"
" He did it! He didi it!," Tyr roared, clutching his sides.
" Oh that's right. The mercenary wants to make me the bad guy. That's rich," said Harper.
" No one's the bad guy," said Rommie, her fluids stiffening her base metals tighter.
" He is!" Trance pointed at Ty
" Tyr thinks it's a hoot, that my ex wants my eyeballs for alimony even if she's in the cast of the Windy Nebula," said Harper.shit
" Oh spare me, " said Tyr, annoyed. " It's a load of over acted Viking shit, passing for monkey porn. "
" I'd ask how the anti biotics are coming, but I have other issues," said Rommie in a helium voice. " Fix me fast. Fix me now. Just fix me!"
" There," said Harper. " All better. Happy Valentine's Day! I need to be off by myself. Tell the Captain that I flound the flux problem, but I need parts." Slump shouldered, Harper left the engineering bay.
" Oh yeah?" Trance screamed after him. " I found the flux problem. Moi! Not you!. " Turning to Rommie," she sneered, "So what did you want, you glad bag full of axel grease and silicon?"
Rommie flashed a viscious smile that chilled for all its oilinessand artificiality. " Sweetie. Moi. AI. That's French for 'I have'. I have intellegence and you don't. Get it?"
Tyr broke his amazed silence. His dread locks stood on end. He cou;dn't fathom why, but he felt he had to get Trance out of Rommie's hair, and quickly. " Trance, why don't you do a space walk and go talk to your penecillan."
" Like Renfield on a fly!" Trance stuck out her tongue." Later meet me out on the starboard and I'll fix you up with some rats, Nietzchie Psycho Man!"
" I handled that badly," said Rommie to the opposite wall.
" If you say so," shrugged Tyr, gingerly trying to bow out of a bad situation. " I may surf cyber space. I'm sure there's a revolution brewing with my name stamped all over it, somewhere."
Rommie was alone. She picked up Harper's tablet. Loktar was chatting with some strange fellow, named Jason. " Hm," Rommie mused. " Why does he seem familiar?"
NeonMercuryASH
beer, I want beer
I searched for him
All over creation
My thoughts turn to char
The mob scorched them
They shunned convention
Want to see the scar?
Is the needle
nestled in a haystack?
All over creation
My thoughts turn to char
The mob scorched them
They shunned convention
Want to see the scar?
Is the needle
nestled in a haystack?