What's new
Troll Kingdom

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

New continuing Doctor Dave story

CaptainWacky

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Doctor Dave woke up in his bed and sat up instantly, fucked off with the world.

"I fucking hate the world and want to destroy it," he said. He walked over to his bedroom windonw. "You, woman," he shouted down at a woman. "Come up here so I can have angry sex with you. I need a good fuck." The woman turned around. She was ugly.

"Okay, coming!" she said.

"Umm, no, and you never will be with me!" said Doctor Dave and he shut his curtain and locked his door. "Fuck, I need to get laid. I need to kill someone. I need to eat a steak. I need to do a lot of things," he said.

"Let me in, let me in!" said the ugly woman, banging at the door. Doctor Dave got his shotgun out from under his bed...

TO BE CONTINUED
 
So Dr Dave has a penis?
 
TWO OF THEM.
 
"I'll shoot you, whore," said Doctor Dave.

"You don't understand!" she said. "I'm being changed by a g...g...g..."

"Ginger?" said Dave.

"GHOST!"

"Well that's different then!" said Doctor Dave, opening the door and letting her in. "Hey, wait a minute, you're not ugly!" he added, noticing that she wasn't ugly and in fact looked like Allison Mack.

"I was wearing an ugly mask as a disguise!" she said. "I was coming to see you because I know you're the greatest ghosthunter in the land."

"Yes that's right," said Doctor Dave.

"Please, you have to kill this ghost!"

"Lady, I'll do more than kill it...I'll send it to Hell."

"Thank you, thank you!" she said, hugging him.

"Yeah, sex now," said Dave.

"Well, okay..." she said, reaching to take her bra off.

"BOO, I'M A GHOST!" said a ghost, coming through the wall.

"Fucking ghosts," said Doctor Dave, getting out his Ghost Gun to shoot it.

"No, wait, that's not the ghost that's been haunting me!" said the girl. "That's the ghost of my dead son who was murdered by the other ghost."

"You have kids? Eww. I don't do women with kids," said Dave.

"Don't worry, they've all been murdered!"

"Yeah, but even ghost kids are too much for me," said Dave.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH, I'LL KILL YOU LIKE I KILED YOUR KIDS," said another ghost. A big scary ghost.

"Right, this is the one?" asked Dave.

"Yes that's right," said the woman.

"Then it's time to bust some ass," said Dave, lighting a cigar.
 
Dr Dave, ASSBUSTER!
 
Just one of the many services he provides.
 
Miller: GHOST HUNTER!
 
Ass busting, pill popping, ghost hunter.
 
"YOU DON'T SCARE MY ASS," said the big scary ghost.

"Why are you shouting?" asked Dave, sighing. He hated ghosts.

"BECAUSE! I JUST AM!"

"How can ghosts even hear anyway? If you're non-corpeal, how can you pick up soundwaves? How can you see, for that matter, when light can't be processed by your ghostly eyes..."

"ARGH, YOU'RE USING LOGIC!"

"Oh, is logic the key to defeating you?"

"YES. NO. SHUT UP. YOU'RE THE GHOSTHUNTER, YOU SHOULD KNOW."

"Wait, ghosthunter? Me?"

"YES. BASTARD."

"Umm, no. You are mistaken."

"But you are a ghosthunter!" said the woman.

"Yeah, and you'll be me new daddy once you marry mom!" said the ghost child (remember him?)

"Umm, fuck no to both," said Doctor Dave. "I'm not a ghosthunter. You read my ad wrong."

"THEN WHAT ARE YOU, CUNTNOSE?" asked the big scary ghost, growing impatient.

"I'm a ghostHUMPER," said Doctor Dave. "I have sex with ghosts. And the living. And zombies. Zombies are somewhere between ghosts and the living, you see. I fuck anything, to be honest."

"DIEEEEE!" said the big scary ghost, flying at him.

"No," said Dave, shooting it dead (well, deader) with his Ghost Gun.

"Yay, get him, dad!" said the ghost kid.

"Shut the fuck up, homo," said Doctor Dave.

"Hang on!" said the woman. "If you're a ghost humper, then why do you have a ghost busting gun?"

"Because all bitches step out of line," said Doctor Dave, taking out some heroin cakes. "Even ghost bitches."

TO BE CONTINUED
 
Hehehe...cuntnose...heh.
 
Dr Dave should throw the mom some sympathy sex.
 
Have pity on the poor woman!!
 
"Are those...heroin cakes?" she asked.

"Yeah, bitch," said Dave. "What, you fucking want one or something?"

"Yeah...wow, you eat heroin cakes...you're so cool..."

"What? Me, eat this shit? No way."

"Then what..."

"I feed them to annoying bitches with kids who are trying to get in my pants, hoping they'll overdose and die, you whore."

"Look, that's not nice! All my kids are dead, I keep telling you!"

"Look, bitch, I've killed your ghost, you're not even that hot, just leave me alone or I'll ram ten heroin cakes up your nose, okay?"

"FINE! But I hope you CHOKE on your heroin cakes!"

"I DON'T EAT THEM, DUH, DON'T YOU FUCKING LISTEN?"

She leaves. Doctor Dave sighs.

"Guess it'll just be a wank tonight...unless I managed to build a sex robot at last."

He takes the parts of the sex robot he's been working on out from under his bed and goes to work.

TO BE CONTINUED
 
zomg Sex Robot!
 
"Are you ready yet, my sex robot?" asked Doctor Dave.

"WORKING," said the sex robot.

"Hello, I am Doctor Dave and I will have sex with you," said Dave.

"HELLO, FATHER," said the sexy robot in a mechanical voice.

"Don't call me father!"

"WHY NOT, DADDY?"

"Because I want to have sex with you and you're making me feel like a paedophile!"

"SORRY, FATHER, BUT YOU ARE MY FATHER. YOU GAVE ME LIFE."

"And now I'll give you death, bitch!"

"NOOOOO!"

Dave destroyed the sex robot with a hammer.

"Fucking robots," he said.

TO BE CONTINUED
 
It had to die.
 
"I'm so fucking bored without my robot," said Doctor Dave.

"You still have me!" said the ghost of JFK.

"That's true," said Doctor Dave. "Where have you been anyway? I had a whole drama with some annoying bitch who wanted to sex my ass and wouldn't take the hint or the heroin cakes. Then I smashed up my robot with a hammer."

"Again?" sighed the ghost of JFK.

"Hey, I have a lot of anger inside me."

"And a lot of grapes!"

"True I like grapes," said Doctor Dave, opening up a bag of grapes. "Want one?"

"I'm the ghost of JFK, you know I can't eat grapes!"

"True. Haha. Loser."

"Fuck you."

"Yeah. How long have we known each other?"

"Sixteen years."

"Yes that's right," said Doctor Dave, remembering when they first met in the toilet at school. "And in all that time, I've never asked you the obvious question..."

"Who killed me?"

"No. What was Marilyn Monroe like in bed?"

"Like a sack of grapes!"

"Hehe."

"So you don't want to know who killed me?"

"Fine, fucker, tell me you bastard."

"It was...I can't remember! The bullet must have been MAGICAL and had a spell cast on it to make me forget."

"Fuck that sucks, dude. But serves you right for being a pussy hound."

"No it doesn't! Doctor Dave, I have an idea!"

"I have an erection and nothing to fuck."

"Fuck some grapes!"

"Okay." Doctor Dave fucked some grapes.

"Anyway, my idea! It's this! We find out...WHO KILLED ME! TOGETHER! A detective and his ghost sidekick! What do you make of that?"

"MMM, GRAPES..."

"Then it's setlled! Look out world, John F Kennedy's back and he's brought a grape-humping doctor!"

Some of the grapes burst.

TO BE CONTINUED
 
Did they turn to wine?

Great story, Wackster!
 
"So what do you remember about the day you died you bastard?" Doctor Dave asked JFK.

"Well, I remember my head exploding," said JFK, thoughtfully.

"Really that's fucking interesting I'll take a note of that," said Doctor Dave, not taking a note of it.

"Cool, that should help the investigation, if you take notes...hey, wait a minute, you're not taking notes! You're masturbating over images of Emma Watson!" said an outraged JFK.

"True," said Dave, staring at Emma on his computer screen. "OH GOD EMMA..."

"She's too young!" said JFK.

"What, you never fucked an eighteen year old?" asked Dave, continuing to masturbate steadily.

"Well, I did fuck a fourteen year old once...but it was the sixties, man, crazy days!" said JFK, embarrassed.

"Fourteen year old pussy, cool, you did well getting away with that," said Dave, cumming all over his monitor.

"Yeah, it was cool, haha! She got pregnant too and I forced her to abort it! Haha, I was so powerful and evil."

"Fucking hell, the stories of your evil power are getting me hot and making me want to wank again."

"Yeah...hey, wait a minute, what if it was her? The fourteen year old bitch, what if she killed me?"

"Hmm, could be."

"Oh, wait, actually, it couldn't have been."

"Why not, asshole?"

"I had her killed a few weeks after the abortion in a fit of panic."

"Haha, cool."

"Yeah, so it couldn't have been her."

"Unless her fourteen year old ghost pussy did it."

"Really? That happens?"

"I've humped a lot of ghosts in my time, and yes, that happens."

"Hmm, I don't think so...it didn't FEEL like a bullet fired by a dead fourteen year old girl's ghost pussy."

"Well I don't fucking know then."

"You know, thinking back, I was kind of evil, wasn't I? Taking advantage of sexy teens, having them killed...having their parents killed...having all their pets killed, just for fun...peronsally slaughtering eight thousand mexicans one time...I was pretty evil."

"Yeah, worse than Hitler."

"Really?"

"I've met him. His ghost. He's nice. You're not. You're an asshole. How dare you rape and kill kids and Mexicans."

"Some of the Mexicans were hot chicks, too."

"You fucking bastard. You deserved to die."

"I know! That's the revealation I was just about to come to!"

"Right, fuck off then while I wank over Emma Watson again. My refraction peroid has just ended."

"Fine. BUT I'LL BE BACK. AND I'LL KILL YOU WHEN I'M BACK. KILL YOU FOR MAKING ME REALISE HOW EVIL I WAS. I LIKED LIVING A LIE. BUT YOU RUINED IT. I'LL KILL YOU LIKE I DID DOCTOR KING!"

"He died after you."

"MY GHOST KILLED HIM. AND IT'S GOING TO KILL YOU SOON!"

"Cool, bye."

TO BE CONTINUED
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top