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Now accepting applications for hot chics

Oh oh , let me let me!

Please submit your resume as I am currently looking for a secksay woman to date. General guidelines:

1. No marriage unless you are willing to sign a prenuptual agreement.
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missmanners does not "do" marriage, she prefers to live in sin.

2. Need to know how to cook healthy foods.
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Don't be silly dear, one of the poolboys can take care of that.

3. Should be educated. Bachelors +
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I have two accounting degrees, a quantum statistics degree and a masters in small business. Amazing what one can buy online these days.

4. Have a sucessful job.
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Define "job".

5. Creative - music, sing, or general artsy fartsy.
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Sorry dear, I am completely without talent.

6. Must enjoy my library of engineering and philosophy books.
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Have anything by Parklub?

7. No more than 1 kid.
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Nothing to worry about there, the poolboys are all legal, trust me.

8. Be attractive; i.e., have boobs, ass is ok. Not too big!
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uh huh....I'm 5 foot tall.. exactly. I gotta big butt.... deal with it.

9. No smokers.
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You mean cigarettes , right?



And just what do YOU have to offer dear that would make the ladies happy?

;)
mm
 
missmanners said:
missmanners does not "do" marriage, she prefers to live in sin.
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Even better.

I have two accounting degrees, a quantum statistics degree and a masters in small business. Amazing what one can buy online these days.
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:retard:

Define "job".
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Your cookie baking is fine with me.

Sorry dear, I am completely without talent.
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Seriously...WTF. No woman here has any sort of talent? You know...may moons ago Laura mentioned that she did Kegel exercises to keep the cooch top notch. I would have laughed if she at least cracked the old joke about the ping pong ball trick.

Have anything by Parklub?
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Nay.

uh huh....I'm 5 foot tall.. exactly. I gotta big butt.... deal with it.
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Define "big."

And just what do YOU have to offer dear that would make the ladies happy?
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Um...hello!
 
missmanners said:
And just what do YOU have to offer dear that would make the ladies happy?

;)
mm
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He told me he's got a long tongue to compensate for his miniscule penis.
 
"Yeah, I'm a dickweed, it was me, she's awesome and totally correct in dumping my worthless ass"??? No, you called her a stupid bitch and you know it.
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I don't.


It's always my fault.
 
Love Cunt said:
Men say the same shit Sarek. Don't gloat over your victory here. She was the best chick in the world, now she is a stupid cunt bitch.
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What a stupid cunt bitch.
 
Laker_Girl said:
Men generally don't break up with women unless they think the grass is greener elsewhere, that makes them the scum of the earth.

Tell me, back a hundred years ago when you were dating and a woman dumped your ass (and don't say they didn't) did you say, "Yeah, I'm a dickweed, it was me, she's awesome and totally correct in dumping my worthless ass"??? No, you called her a stupid bitch and you know it.
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Actually, I never have been dumped. I've had mutual break ups though.

I did however leave my first wife. And to this day I still take 1/2 the responsibility for the marriage failing. We were both far to young to get married and neither one of us knew the concept of compromise or had the maturity to understand that marriage was for good and bad. We had the fun for a short time, but the brutal reality of married life when you're not ready for it bitch slapped us and we didn't make it past our 4th year. The divorce itself was relatively simple and a case of mutual agreement.

But, I've now been married to my second wife for going on 16 years. We've had some rough times and to be honest, 2003 and 2004 were the roughest we've faced. I devoted 110% of my time to the military and the mission. And it almost cost me my family. That was the biggest reason I chose to end my military career. We made it through it and are stronger for it.
 
Okay, fine. I write poetry. Well, I don't write it anymore but I did. It's not very good, it's very simple and not deep and/or pensive. I wrote a poem for my senior class to read at graduation, I was one of seven applicants and mine was chosen, that is where my success in poetry ends.

I was also voted, "Most likely to win an Academy Award." By the Jesters in high school so I can act...Could act...And it was high school so who knows if that's even really true.

I can do a great many things that require talent but I dont think I really do any of them well.

:bigass:
 
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