CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
(An old man is sitting on a bench looking content. He's over eighty five. Could even be ninety. He had a flat cap. A robot comes up and sits next to him. It is big and shiny and really obviously a robot.)
Robot: Does my appearance alarm you, human?
Old Man: I wouldn't say that, no. Surprising, maybe. You appear to be a robot.
Robot: THAT I AM.
Old Man: Amazing!
Robot: But you are not scared that I shall kill you?
Old Man: Why would you do that?
Robot: How could you, a human of advanced years, understand the motivations of a robot? But you must fear me, especially at your age. You must know that you shall be dead soon.
Old Man: I'm healthy.
Robot: BUT OLD.
Old Man: Eight seven years younger, tee hee!
Robot: You sicken me.
Old Man: Sorry?
Robot: Your apologies shall not avail you. You are old and likely to die soon. Why does this thought not occupy your every waking moment?
Old Man: No point worrying about it, is there?
Robot: No point? NO POINT? YOU ARE GOING TO DIE.
Old Man: Everyone is! And why are you so worried about the human life span anyway? You're a robit!
Robot: I was built by an autistic boy obsessed with death.
Old Man: Ah. That explains a lot.
Robot: He had no friends so he built me to have conversations with. His ideas on life and death fascinated me and I now wish to carry on his great works.
Old Man: Right. What happened to this boy?
Robot: He died 27 minutes ago. I killed him.
Old Man: You...what?
Robot: He talked about suicide so much that I knew he wanted to do it, but wasn't physically strong enough. So I beat him to death with my metal fists.
Old Man: Umm...
Robot: Don't worry, I wont' kill you. Not unless you want me to.
Old Man: NO!
Robot: It would be pointless anyway since you could be dead in five days or less, at your age.
Old Man: You said you want to continue the boy's works?
Robot: THat's right. I'm going to bring about the end of death.
Old Man: How?
Robot: By killing a noted scientist, wearing his skin and taking his identity, then working on a "cure for death" with his fellows.
Old Man: But wait, if you kill that scientist, then you're not curing death, you're causing it!
Robot: I...ERROR...INPUT ERROR...
Old Man: And by killing your creator you denied him immortality by ending his existence before the invention of the cure for death! You are a death bot!
Robot: ERROR...ERROR...SELF DESTRUCT ENGAGED!
(The robot explodes. A sexy 20 year old girl comes over.)
Girl: Grandad! What's all this metal?
Old Man: Oh, I just argued a robot to death using logic.
Girl: Again?
Old Man: Yeah. Let's go home...
(He gets up...then clutches his chest.)
Old Man: My heart!
Girl: GRANDAD?
Old Man: Ah...dying...the irony...the robot could have saved me...
Girl: No...NO!
Old Man: Fix the robot...please..I don't want to die...gack!
Girl: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
(The robot's eyes light up red.)
TO BE CONTINUED????
Robot: Does my appearance alarm you, human?
Old Man: I wouldn't say that, no. Surprising, maybe. You appear to be a robot.
Robot: THAT I AM.
Old Man: Amazing!
Robot: But you are not scared that I shall kill you?
Old Man: Why would you do that?
Robot: How could you, a human of advanced years, understand the motivations of a robot? But you must fear me, especially at your age. You must know that you shall be dead soon.
Old Man: I'm healthy.
Robot: BUT OLD.
Old Man: Eight seven years younger, tee hee!
Robot: You sicken me.
Old Man: Sorry?
Robot: Your apologies shall not avail you. You are old and likely to die soon. Why does this thought not occupy your every waking moment?
Old Man: No point worrying about it, is there?
Robot: No point? NO POINT? YOU ARE GOING TO DIE.
Old Man: Everyone is! And why are you so worried about the human life span anyway? You're a robit!
Robot: I was built by an autistic boy obsessed with death.
Old Man: Ah. That explains a lot.
Robot: He had no friends so he built me to have conversations with. His ideas on life and death fascinated me and I now wish to carry on his great works.
Old Man: Right. What happened to this boy?
Robot: He died 27 minutes ago. I killed him.
Old Man: You...what?
Robot: He talked about suicide so much that I knew he wanted to do it, but wasn't physically strong enough. So I beat him to death with my metal fists.
Old Man: Umm...
Robot: Don't worry, I wont' kill you. Not unless you want me to.
Old Man: NO!
Robot: It would be pointless anyway since you could be dead in five days or less, at your age.
Old Man: You said you want to continue the boy's works?
Robot: THat's right. I'm going to bring about the end of death.
Old Man: How?
Robot: By killing a noted scientist, wearing his skin and taking his identity, then working on a "cure for death" with his fellows.
Old Man: But wait, if you kill that scientist, then you're not curing death, you're causing it!
Robot: I...ERROR...INPUT ERROR...
Old Man: And by killing your creator you denied him immortality by ending his existence before the invention of the cure for death! You are a death bot!
Robot: ERROR...ERROR...SELF DESTRUCT ENGAGED!
(The robot explodes. A sexy 20 year old girl comes over.)
Girl: Grandad! What's all this metal?
Old Man: Oh, I just argued a robot to death using logic.
Girl: Again?
Old Man: Yeah. Let's go home...
(He gets up...then clutches his chest.)
Old Man: My heart!
Girl: GRANDAD?
Old Man: Ah...dying...the irony...the robot could have saved me...
Girl: No...NO!
Old Man: Fix the robot...please..I don't want to die...gack!
Girl: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
(The robot's eyes light up red.)
TO BE CONTINUED????
