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On the Horns of a Dilemma...

Volpone

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Tomorrow night, the Hashers are throwing a party.

"Hashers" bill themselves as a "drinking club with a running problem." We're all perpetual teenagers (even though some are well into their fifties) and we meet each week to drink beer, follow a trail of flower laid by "hares", drink some more beer, sing songs, tell jokes, and drink beer. Best of all, "bimbos" (hasher girls) tend to be more promiscuous than most women. :techman: So Friday night should be a good time.

But here's the catch: while I was doing my reconnaissance to see where I need to be tomorrow night, I discovered that the hall they're renting for the dance is run by communists. Shit. In Googling up the name of the place, I was getting hits that were making my Spidey Sense tingle. When I actually found the place's website, it gave me the creeping horrors.

So here I am. Stuck on the horns of a dilemma. I can either pass up a pretty good time and a night of virtually guaranteed wild sex, or I can contribute my money to support communists. The only way I can figure out of this situation is to go, but to then do more damage to the place than I paid for the ticket. :S:
 
You should just go and not worry about the money going to Communists. They have a nasty/nifty habit of sharing the wealth, which means taking your dollars and dividing by zero.
 
Yeah, if they're selling you beer for money they aren't really communists anyway. Just get drunk and forget about your troubles. :techman:
 
They're probably nice communists anyway.
 
I went. Danced with lots of girls. Grabbed a couple asses. Fucked one in the bedroom at the afterparty. Good times.
 
Well you see?

NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT!
 
Fucked one ass?
 
Sadly, no. :(

This is the second time I've screwed this girl. Cute face. Smart. Interesting. Horny. A little on the "curvy" side, but definitely doable. Anyway, I'm pretty sure assfucking is right out. Because she doesn't even go down. The first time I thought it might just be timing and the way the evening unwound, but last night...she undoes my pants, fishes around in there and pulls it out--all while looking at me seductively--and...starts pulling on it. Look ladies. I can pull on it. In fact, having had access to it as much as I have, I can probably do that far better than you can. If you want to do some foreplay, put the motherfucker in your mouth.

This is the second easy girl I've...dated...who doesn't go down. I'm mystified.

Oh, but anyhow, if she won't do oral, I'm pretty sure anal is right out of the question.
 
Tell her that you wont give unless you also receive once in awhile. If shes the loose tight, you might be better off not putting your face down there, and perhaps you should rethink putting your wedding tackle in there again, as well.

Have you ever been checked for teh STDs?
 
Oral's never been my favorite anyway.
 
You guys.
 
Fuck you.

Fuck you guys in the ass for Communism.
 
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