CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
(Curtain rises. There is some cheese on the stage. Doctor Dave walks on.)
Dave: Hello, everyone.
(The audience applaud and holler.)
Dave: Yes that's right. I am Doctor Dave and I am here to teach you about...hang on, what's this?
(He bends over and picks up the cheese.)
Dave: Why it's cheese! The finest invention known to man!
(The audience cheers.)
Dave: Hahah, and now to smell it...hang on...
(He takes a deep sniff.)
Dave: This is...this is...OH FUCK, OH GOD NO, OH HITLER AND JEWS...
(He throws the cheese away in anger.)
Dave: This is BAD CHEESE!
(The audience boo loudly.)
Dave: How can someone, let's call him GOD, take something beautiful like cheese and then corrupt it? Make it BAD CHEESE? How can God suffer bad cheese to exist? But then...that's life, isn't it? We need the good with the bad. We are all like cheese, each of us. We grow older. We lose our innocence. We start to get moldy and smell. We are exactly like cheese in every way. Humans, like cheese, can become bad. Maybe that is why God lets cheese go bad, as a warning. So that we, ourselves, will not go bad. That is why. That is why there is bad cheese. Oh, thank you God. Thank you. I can't believe I threw that cheese away. Please, find it for me! I must have it back!
(A plant in the audiece throws the cheese to Dave.)
Dave: Thank you...EWW, IT FUCKING STINKS, EWW, MOSES ON A POGO STICK.
(He throws it to the ground and stomps it underfoot.)
Dave: DIE BAD CHEESE, DIE.
(He starts shaking.)
Dave: What have I done? WHAT HAVE I DONE!?!?!
Fin
Dave: Hello, everyone.
(The audience applaud and holler.)
Dave: Yes that's right. I am Doctor Dave and I am here to teach you about...hang on, what's this?
(He bends over and picks up the cheese.)
Dave: Why it's cheese! The finest invention known to man!
(The audience cheers.)
Dave: Hahah, and now to smell it...hang on...
(He takes a deep sniff.)
Dave: This is...this is...OH FUCK, OH GOD NO, OH HITLER AND JEWS...
(He throws the cheese away in anger.)
Dave: This is BAD CHEESE!
(The audience boo loudly.)
Dave: How can someone, let's call him GOD, take something beautiful like cheese and then corrupt it? Make it BAD CHEESE? How can God suffer bad cheese to exist? But then...that's life, isn't it? We need the good with the bad. We are all like cheese, each of us. We grow older. We lose our innocence. We start to get moldy and smell. We are exactly like cheese in every way. Humans, like cheese, can become bad. Maybe that is why God lets cheese go bad, as a warning. So that we, ourselves, will not go bad. That is why. That is why there is bad cheese. Oh, thank you God. Thank you. I can't believe I threw that cheese away. Please, find it for me! I must have it back!
(A plant in the audiece throws the cheese to Dave.)
Dave: Thank you...EWW, IT FUCKING STINKS, EWW, MOSES ON A POGO STICK.
(He throws it to the ground and stomps it underfoot.)
Dave: DIE BAD CHEESE, DIE.
(He starts shaking.)
Dave: What have I done? WHAT HAVE I DONE!?!?!
Fin
