Outrageous and totally unbelievable stuff Ily did during her "lost weekend"

[Donovan]

Oh sure, the real queen of the badlands has returned, and we're all happier for it. But do we REALLY REALLY believe her story of studying hard, getting good grades, and buckling down for tough exams? I say thee NAY!

In fact, the rumors have been flying ever since she disappeared. I've heard them, you've all heard them, and here in this thread we will now share them.

Counting up:

1. Ily was recruited by an oppressed alien race after her amazingly high video game score proved she could conquer the galaxy. She is currently hiding the severed head of the alien warlord bad guy in her closet...

 

[I Love Cunt]

THIS THREAD NEEDS MORE SEX!

 

[Donovan]

Well get on it then!

 

[Yub]

2. I kidnapped Ily and am only now posting using her account due to only just having dragged the password out of her using psycho-sexual torture techniques.

 

[jack]

Actually, I had Ily tied to a makeshift plywood pillory in the basement, where she was attached to one of my more insidious fucking machines; a DP high speed with Turbo Nipple Suction.

The rest (as they say) is history.

 

[Yub]

LIES! I've evidence! I filmed it and added subtitles!

[YOUTUBE]ye5Jo1I4XXc[/YOUTUBE]