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Pandora and Polygamy

Polygamy is three or more partners, bigamy is just two partners. I can handle one but I'm not so sure about two or more.
 
Laker_Girl said:
Polygamy is three or more partners, bigamy is just two partners. I can handle one but I'm not so sure about two or more.
Click to expand...

Oh, so I did understand it was just the numbers. ;)

I'll admit I think dealing with just 3 people in a relationship is going to be easier than 4. But it depends on the makeup of the relationship. If the Quad were two male/female couples it might be easier.

Personally, I could geal with up to 4. It's doable knowing how I am, but beyond that, I'd feel I got lost or something. But it really depends on the context and the makeup of the relationship.. Relationships that are open to other lovers grow sort of naturally. You don't go out looking to 'hook up' with 3 other people.

I just like the flexibility of knowing that if one partner falls in love then it's not some question of leaving one for the other. There's another solution.

But it is so individual, and it isn't a question of adding as many partners as you can. It's about evolving relationships of love and commitment. Otherwise it is just "swinging". And that's a whole other ball of wax.
 
Niggers and ragheads have many times the babies that Europeans do, just like bugs have thousands of babies compared to mammals. Having an instinct to reproduce as an evolutionary strategy is not new, and it is certainly not intrinsically 'correct.'

A female impregrated is much more valuable than one desolate in regards to the survival of a species. However, social creatures such as wolves and humans and ants only suffer from rampant reproduction.

Or perhaps some of you believe that a rapist more prolific has 'natural law' on his side?
 
Since I consider adultery to be a form of polygamy then having multiple partners is not only common, but some might argue natural and built into our DNA :)
 
With Hambil, this jester agrees,
to settle for just one husband/wife?
We are ALIVE, hard-wired to please!
And variety, the spice of life.

Monogamy is but a dream.
Like tit-flavored ice cream.
 
I think that part of the issue with polygamy goes into questions that many people are uncomfortable with, i.e. the nature of love. In my experence, "Love" is never the same twice, every person I have fallen in love with has been different in that relationship. While "Love" is a general emotion, "IN Love" has changed with each person.
I believe that one can love several people at the same time, and each uniquely.
That's a bonus beyond the practical "commune" aspects and advantages of mutliple partners working as a team.
-SB
 
Compare lifespans, TQ.
And what of yearning?
They're wired for survival.
All I want is ~burning.

(~Passion is what I speak,
not of gonorrheal leak.)






Ours, divide and conquer.
 
I have long argued that poly marriages should be legal for the same very real reason that gay marriages should be legal...

...it's the principles of the First Amendment, folks. Non-establishment of religion. There's no reason to oppress neopagans, Mormons, and Muslims; marriage is a religious institution at heart, and various religions approve of poly marriages (just as an ever-increasing number approve of gay marriages), or even consider them preferable to mono marriages.

With regard to those saying that humans aren't wired for poly relationships... I'll say outright that a lot of guys who think they're ready to have several girlfriends aren't ready to deal with a potentially stable poly relationship. Many of those who do have several girlfriends only manage to do so by having separate fake monogamous relationships and keeping the other ones secret.

However, if you look at the behavior of people on the whole (adultery, high-speed serial monogamists, divorce rates, etc etc) it doesn't really look like monogamy is a perfect fit either, and the poly community isn't about to cause problems - population or otherwise. We're not too worried about Mormons overpopulating the crowded state of Utah, and neopagans tend to work overtime trying not to draw too much fire.

I am disappointed that fewer people are ready to approve of polyamory, but if we don't establish a theocratic state in the next fifty years, we may optimistically expect poly marriages to be legal in most of the union by then.
 
TJHairball said:
With regard to those saying that humans aren't wired for poly relationships... I'll say outright that a lot of guys who think they're ready to have several girlfriends aren't ready to deal with a potentially stable poly relationship. Many of those who do have several girlfriends only manage to do so by having separate fake monogamous relationships and keeping the other ones secret.
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I completely agree here. The fantasy of poly and the reality are two different things. Maintaining honest, stable, committed and loving multiple relationships is difficult and hard, HARD work.

Most believe it is just "separate fake monogamous" relationships. It isn't. Even if the same sex members of a Triad or Quad are not bi-sexual there has to be some kind of loving relationship for a poly to work. All the members have to in fact love each other or it will FAST blow up in your face.

It's not about [for example] a man who is simply dating several women, and the women tolerate the "open dating" situation. Those women do not want to share, they're simply competing with the others to "win" the monogamy foot race.

Poly is something else entirely.

No man in his right mind would actually marry [or maintain] two or more women who were competitive or hated each other. It's simply a prescription for a nightmare. Which is of course why people lie about how many relationships they are engaged in for the most part.

Monogamists compete with other members to eliminate each other, Polygamists don't. There can be some competition for attention at times, but it is not about eliminating the others to finally 'get the guy all to herself'. [and it can work visa versa too.. It can be one woman and two lovers, I'm just using the M/ff model because it's what I am most familiar with.]

But we're not talking about that type of relationship, this is about actual multiple partners where everyone knows about the other and they are in fact a unit, not separate relationships with one member in common.
 
You're talking about a utopian ideal that will never work. Evolution and genetics have too much of a hold on our behavior.
 
^ I'm talking about people making that decision for themselves--Not the State. People make the choicer to follow a Utopian ideal every time they fall in love. this is no different than a monogamous pair seeking their own idyllic relationship--[soul mates].

Do I think millions of people will run off and marry lots of people? Of course not. Pair bonding is a human reality. But, do I believe that there are some of us on the fringes that could find 'their' happiness in such a relationship? You bet I do.

It's about the freedom to have the choice, not about human instinct and conditioning dictating differently. Most [98%] will pair bond and be very happy. Or as happy as any relationship can be given the participants. But there are those who don't fit into a nice neat little category, and those people should have the freedom to pursue their own happiness as long as it is with consenting adults.

You know what I mean?
 
That's non-establishment of a state religion. Marriage by itself isn't a religion. Sorry, you probably hoped that would just slide right past everyone. Hope I haven't fouled things up for ya.

Caitriona said:
I completely agree here. The fantasy of poly and the reality are two different things. Maintaining honest, stable, committed and loving multiple relationships is difficult and hard, HARD work.

Most believe it is just "separate fake monogamous" relationships. It isn't. Even if the same sex members of a Triad or Quad are not bi-sexual there has to be some kind of loving relationship for a poly to work. All the members have to in fact love each other or it will FAST blow up in your face.

It's not about [for example] a man who is simply dating several women, and the women tolerate the "open dating" situation. Those women do not want to share, they're simply competing with the others to "win" the monogamy foot race.

Poly is something else entirely.

No man in his right mind would actually marry [or maintain] two or more women who were competitive or hated each other. It's simply a prescription for a nightmare. Which is of course why people lie about how many relationships they are engaged in for the most part.

Monogamists compete with other members to eliminate each other, Polygamists don't. There can be some competition for attention at times, but it is not about eliminating the others to finally 'get the guy all to herself'. [and it can work visa versa too.. It can be one woman and two lovers, I'm just using the M/ff model because it's what I am most familiar with.]

But we're not talking about that type of relationship, this is about actual multiple partners where everyone knows about the other and they are in fact a unit, not separate relationships with one member in common.
Click to expand...

That actually goes farther toward demonstrating that polygamy or "polyamory" (sorry, but I will always consider that to be a dressed-up synonym for "sluttin' "*) is not what human biology is tuned for. Harems and Mormon-style polygamy are obviously not what Cait's referring to.

* Cait, what you described is an ideal. I won't discount the possibility that some people do achieve and maybe even sustain it, but I'd bet money it's the exception in what people call polyamory, and not the rule. The rule, at least in my own admittedly second-hand experience, is of people who basically just fuck around like alley cats while declaring each of their sex partners to be a new boyfriend or girlfriend, and tend to acquire them at a rate of one a week.
 
Oh, I'll admit it is an exception to the rule. But I still maintain that Gay Marriage and Poly marriages should be a choice the State offers.

That choice it is all a matter of privacy, not religion.
 
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