Pubs, beer, and the art of pissing

whisky

Boobie inspector
This is going to be toilet related, so if that's not something you want to read about, time to bail now.

I have come to pub drinking late in life, having not drunk at all for most of the first 30 years, and drunk at home for the next ten.

Since more men joined the job I work at, I have started going out more regularly, once a month or so me and the lads go out drinking.

Sooner or later your need the toilet, and in this day an age, a lot of people, myself included take their drinks with them, if its a bottle it fits nicely in the inside pocket of my jacket, if its a glass, I'll hold it way up high with my spare hand.

That's me.

The last time I went out drinking I saw another guy fetch a pint glass in with him, and stand it down next to the urinal while he took a piss.

Now I don't know if you are familiar with pub toilet floors near urinals, or if its different in other countries, but the floors are generally covered in piss.

Sure, that's the glass, what's outside the glass cant affect what's inside, but bear this in mind.

That piss didn't end up on the floor because men can't aim their piss, it ends up on the floor because piss splashes.

You could be the Dirty Harry of the piss world, but no matter how good your aim, some will splash.

And if the volume of liquid in that guys beer wasn't higher when he left the toilet than when he went in I would be very surprised.
 

Cock

Let's be making sexy business
piss drinker
 

Fuddlemiff

Is this real life?
Since I'm with friends I'm not too bothered about my beer (or cider, to be precise) being tampered with, so I don't tend to bring it with me to the loo. But I wouldn't put anything near that floor. It's bad enough having to walk on it.
 

FBI parte due

Folces Weard
I'll pee all over you. I'll pee all over all of you.
 

whisky

Boobie inspector
I did not edit anything. You are both a liar and a moron.

So you quoted me, and removed sections of the quote, until it said only what you wanted it to say, and that's not editing?

Next time you use words, try looking up what they mean first.
 

Yub

Anachrophobic
Whisky insulted Dual's manhood. I state this only to further comment that it didn't take much. Overcompensating much, Dual?
 

Fuddlemiff

Is this real life?
Can't we have one discussion about male pissing without someone lowering the tone?!
 

Dual

RIP Karl 1991-2014
Whisky insulted Dual's manhood. I state this only to further comment that it didn't take much. Overcompensating much, Dual?

Overcompensating, lolwut? I do sit down to urinate when I'm not in a public restroom (read: when the toilet seat isn't nasty); nothing to be ashamed of in that. :shrug:

So you quoted me, and removed sections of the quote, until it said only what you wanted it to say, and that's not editing?
That's paring down, you wanker. Editing would involve changing the content of what you said, rather than merely replying to a piece of it.
 

whisky

Boobie inspector
Microcock, microcock,
whats he got?
Not a lot.
Has to pee sitting down,
like a girl, what a clown,
look out, here comes microcock!

Microcock, microcock,
has to pad out with a sock,
whats that dick in his pants?
Is it his, or just an ants?
look out, here comes microcock!
 
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