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Don't you really hate it when you're totally focused on an activity, but then you have to really, REALLY get up and go take a tremendous shit? I hate that. I'll be back.
Like it's in there goin' "Grrrrrrrr! Get up and go in there and let me out!" "But the place is on fire!" "DON'T CARE, YOU SUMBITCH! I WANT OOOUUUUT!!!" "Okay, fine!" shuffle-shuffle-shuffle-lift-pants-down-sit
"BLAM!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I'M FREEEEE!!!"
"Well, great, wouldja shut da fuck up then so I can get back to work?"
Don't you really hate it when you're totally focused on an activity, but then you have to really, REALLY get up and go take a tremendous shit? I hate that. I'll be back.
Ahhhh, that was magnifico. A long, satisfying piss is truly one of life's simple pleasures.
So I've given some thought to taking bathroom enjoyment to a whole new level. Right now for poop-time reading material I've got exactly one issue of Maxim magazine from October sitting on the back of the toilet. Let's just say the newness has worn off.
But I'm thinking, you know, why not take the bathroom reading experience to a whole new level, really bring it into the 21st century:
True, the Sony Reader probably won't have the porn-tastic qualities of an issue of Playboy or even Maxim -- but let's face it, when you're cutting a day-old dinner loaf, that's not the time when you want to sprout a third leg. Creates all sorts of messy mental connections that just don't need to be there. Nothing like a good Tom Clancy novel to really enhance your shitting enjoyment.
Bathrooms of the future will have Kindles built in! The toilet seat will have sensors that automatically identify the pooper and you won't even have to tell it which novel to display.