What's new
Troll Kingdom

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Rihanna to have wounds tattooed on her body

CaptainWacky

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Pop irritant Rihanna today announced plans to have tattoos of wounds consistent with domestic violence tattooed all over her probably too thin (haven't looked at her lately) body.

"Yeah, I'm getting to done, so what, I'll cut you!" she slurred. "It's a statment okay you don't get it I'm not going to explain it fuck you. I'm so drunk."

"MARRY US, CHRIS!" tweeted millions of idiot girls to Chris Brown.

"With the bruises already on her face, I'm saved on valuable beating time!" he said, happily. "Guess I'll just hit animals instead."

"He's so fucking hot I love him," slurred Rihanna, before falling over.

Mentalist was unavialable for comment.
 
This has been a Breaking News alert from MF News, we now return you to "Cat Cleaners: Volcano Island".
 
ok, I did LOL but then I shook my head more in sorrow than mockery. The whole issue is pathetically sad. And they both are pathetically sad people.
 
I'm gonna have claw marks tattooed on my body so Captain Kirk can finally TAKE IT THE FUCK EASY.
 
Im going to have snake scales tattooed on my penor so people will think it's a GIANT ANACONDA
 
Rihanna has apparently been seeing Josef Fritzl again, and stated "no one understands him the way I do!" her next song is going to be called "We found love (in the cellar)"
 
Since working with Coldplay Rihanna has been getting tips from Gwenyth Paltrow on the best ethical ways to get beaten the fuck out of by your spouse.

"Whenever my girlfriends ask about domestic abuse I always recommend a hemp/echinacea blend rope available from Punchkit.com's wonderful range of home wife beating products, which is hand braided by Ecuadorian pygmys and arrives at your door in some of the loveliest sustainable packaging I've seen. After a tiring, but fulfilling day of looking after the family, there's no better way to relax than have Chris throttle me until I pass into a gentle coma."
 
jack said:
Im going to have snake scales tattooed on my penor so people will think it's a GIANT ANACONDA
Click to expand...


The more I think about it, the idea of some hairy, overweight tattoo artist stabbing your lil smokie over and over again with a needle, the better it sounds.

I think you should do it!
 
Fuddlemiff said:
Since working with Coldplay Rihanna has been getting tips from Gwenyth Paltrow on the best ethical ways to get beaten the fuck out of by your spouse.

"Whenever my girlfriends ask about domestic abuse I always recommend a hemp/echinacea blend rope available from Punchkit.com's wonderful range of home wife beating products, which is hand braided by Ecuadorian pygmys and arrives at your door in some of the loveliest sustainable packaging I've seen. After a tiring, but fulfilling day of looking after the family, there's no better way to relax than have Chris throttle me until I pass into a gentle coma."
Click to expand...

"Whassss those words mean?" slurred Rihanna. She then began weeping softly to herself. "It's not even me singing, they have an ugly girl record all the songs and I just dance to them. Well I don't even dance now after Chris burned all my dancing shoes because he 'doesn't like men looking' when I dance. I'm so alone...FUCK YOUSE ALL OKAY I DON'T NEED YOU DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM YOU PLEBS?"
 
Close friend Paltrow gave her blessing to the relationship, despite having reservations about the rock music Lee Collins has been singing on stage of late. "It's all just noise", she commented. "Why can't he sing something nice and drab and monotonous like my Chris... ?"
 
I'm happy Carrie Fisher didn't go on "Bring Back Star Wars" now (or did she...I just remember him hassling Billy Dee Williams in the street.)
 
She did let him interview her, just didn't go to the awkward party. He came onto her. And I don't remember the actual line of questioning, but it wouldn't at all surprise me if he held up her Jabba slave costume and asked if she'd put it on for him.

"Come on my mucker!", he pleaded. "I've got me own one too, we can be fat princesses together!"
 
I remember he was on BOTS last year (or this year) and I thought "oh yeah, I remember him, I wonder why he hasn't been on tv for ages?" It was probably WELL KNOWN in the celebrity circle what he was like but BOTS had him on anyway as they're so desperate for guests they'll have anyone on (Kerry Katona's mum.)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top