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SEX WITH BICYCLES!!!

Cassie

Cassie

Touching the monolith
Staff member
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/mai...FFWAVCBQUIV0?xml=/news/2007/10/26/nsex126.xml

Man who had sex with bike in court

By Richard Alleyne
Last Updated: 12:25pm GMT 28/10/2007

A man has been placed on the sex offenders’ register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.

Robert Stewart was discovered in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year.

On Wednesday Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace in Ayr Sheriff Court, where depute fiscal Gail Davidson described how he had been found by the hostel workers.

She said: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both witnesses, who were extremely shocked, notified the hotel manager, who in turn alerted the police.

Mr Stewart was placed on the sex offenders’ register but his sentence was deferred until next month.

He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however.

Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.
Click to expand...

SEXY!! lol, I'd like to see the electrician have sex with pavements.. are pavements like the sidewalk or something?
 
These cleaners busted into his room, violated his privacy and he's the one in trouble?

WTF?
 
They did not bust into his room.
 
Are you siding with those sexually repressive cleaners!?!!?
 
How could he violate that poor, defenseless inanimate object?
 
It was asking for it. I mean with that seat and those tyres....HAWT
 
I'm struggling to see how what he was doing, in a locked and paid for room, with nooone else in there, was illegal.

Mind boggling yes, illegal, no.
 
My point exactly!
 
If they had burst in and he was shagging his gf, would the pair of them be up for indecency?

What if he was sat on the bed whacking it to mayfair?

I can understand if it was someone elses bike, but if it was his, I'm just not seeing the problem.
 
I'm gonna get me some bicycles and pimp them to weird Scottish guys.
 
I notice Wacky hasnt commented on this yet.
 
Indeed. He's got a tricycle stashed in a closet somewhere
 
WTF? He WASNT EVEN MAKING NOISE! What's their problem?
Now, if the BICYCLE filed a complaint, I could understand...otherwise...WHAT? omg.
 
p.s. "electrician having sex with pavements"

PIX PLZ!
 
I guess he just head the song "hit the road jack" a little too much.
 
this thread = Teh LULZ!
 
What I want to know is how this law against sex with bicycles came about. Was there a rash of surprise bicycle sex back in the 60's? Did some politician get caught tapping his feet near bicycle racks?
 
The phrase "pumping up the tyre" takes on a whole new meaning
 
I don't get it either. I would have answered sooner if I wasn't enjoying the bicycle sex so much. I didn't know not answering the door was a crime.
 
I knew it was you!
 
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