Shilpa Shetty to meet Princess Di

[CaptainWacky]

It was today announced that Shilpa Shetty will meet "The Queen Of Hearts" Princess Diana in a historic union between the two greatest women to live in the last twenty years.

"I can't wait!" said Jade Goody. "I assume Shilpa will invite me because we're friends again now, innit!"

"ME TOO FOR FUCK'S SAKE," said Jackiey. "IF THAT INDIAN DON'T INVITE ME SHE'LL GET FUCKED UP BY MY BOYS, THE BRUISER BOYS!"

"That's right!" said Jack Tweed. "Me and my mate Jimmy The Bruiser!"

"Umm, isn't Princess Di dead?" asked Shilpa.

"NO, SHE ISN'T," said Patrick Moore.

Hitler was unavailable to make sense of this crap.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Russell Brand refused to be associated with all parties, except for Shilpa on the off chance that she might touch his dinkle.

Richard Whitely concurred.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Emma Watson was heard to remark "I'M 16 COME AND GET IT BOYS (IN THE UK)"