Hmm.. Lets list my offences in a more detailed manner:
Ever done a runner from a restaurant?
Yes, used to go to Pizza Hut and eat all we wanted then do the sly one out the door.
Yes, used to get away with loads of stuff. Robbed Dixons once.
Ever eaten a mince pie on Christmas Day?
Yes, though I can still sleep at night.
Ever downloaded commercial music off the internet?
Yes, as well as games, movies, TV shows and anything else that takes my fancy.
Ever knowingly bought stolen goods?
Yes, bought a couple of stolen Laptops when I was serving up hash and had all sorts of litle scroungy theives selling me stolen goods for a bit of smoke.
Also bought stolen Cameras, Clothes, CD's, DvD's, Fishing Reels, Stereos ect
Ever been drunk in a pub/bar?
No shit.
Ever used a mobile phone whilst driving?
Yes, it was important, though I do frown on this.
Have you ever given or received oral sex?
Yes.
Ever had sex with someone under age of 16?
Err... Yes. 15 year old club chicks. Though not since I was 17.
Nope. Don't intend to.
Not on myself or anything.
Ever paid for sex/been paid for sex?
I wish!
Ever had sex in a public place?
Infront of the Prince Regents Palace of all places.
Ever stuck a postage stamp on upside down?
Almost certainly.
Ever drawn, painted or written on public property?
Yes.
Ever thrown a ball at someone’s head?
Yes.
Ever driven under the influence of drink or drugs?
Numerous times. It's why I'm banned and why I was in court for 4 months for driving under the influence of valium. I was also drunk but there breathalizer gave me a break on that, luckily.
Yes, as well as kicked, headbutted, whipped and beaten people with tools.
Ever been aroused in public?
Like, yeah.
Ever had a bet with a friend for money?
Yes, loads of times.
Ever known anyone who has been or is in prison?
Lots of people.
Ever seen a naked mannequin?
Yes.
Ever broken into someone’s house?
I used to rob drug dealers so yes. While they were in it.
Ever keyed someone’s car?
Fraid' so.
Ever shot someone with a bow and arrow?
Not yet.
Ever smuggled drugs abroad?
Twice. Both times I came back to Greece from England I took a little something with me.
Ever strolled around your house butt naked?
Yes.
Ever falsely claimed for something on insurance?
Nope.
Have you ever masturbated?
Let me think... Can't recall.
Ever gone fishing on a Sunday?
Hundreds of times.
Well, thats that. I'm a bad man.
