Skiing is fun

[ctmelvital]

From thedanzatap:

Personal account from the front lines, forwarded to us by a concerned reader:

I have been working up at Vail as a part-timer and just got done with a 5 day booking that I have done the past 3 years and just happen to see the crazy shit I have EVER seen on the mountain…

This is a private lesson and I am with an 11 year kid and his father, we head out to Blue Sky in the morning and as we approach the Skyline Lift (the main Blue Sky lift) there are these 2 panicky women saying, “stay out of the way, the ski patrol is on their way”. Confused, I look around and see everyone around me staring wide-eyed at the chairlift. I look over to see a 45 year old man hanging upside down from the chairlift, 20 feet off the ground, with his pants caught around his ankles. His board is miraculously stuck in the chair while one leg dangles freely and his cock, grundle, and ass gets pounded by the stiff breeze. Everyone is laughing hysterically, including myself, as this gentleman bears all to the 60 people lucky enough to be at the right place at the right time.

My client is thoroughly enjoying this and we can’t initially tell if this man is wearing khaki pants or if he is naked…then we see a hairy ass crack!…how the fuck did this guy lose his pants? How the fuck did this guy fall upside down in the chair? Why the fuck doesn’t this guy pull himself up or his pants up? So many questions, and plenty of time to ponder them as the lifties are completely retarded and ski patrol is taking there sweet ass time getting to the bottom. This guy hangs upside down for at least 15 minutes and no joke, it was fuckin cold out. I have heard of shrinkage, but he must have a mangina after 15-20 minutes of the upside down cock freeze.

Because I am in uniform, this lady comes up to me freaking out to call the ski patrol b/c the lifties are high as balls and have no idea. I try and calm the lady down and come to find out that her husband is the one hanging upside down and her son is the one sitting on the chair while his daddy has a peep show (talk about an awkward turtle). The mom/wife says she got bucked off the chair b/c the seat wasn’t down (the wind blew it up or the lifty forgot to put it down…I don’t know) and the husband fell through the chair while the son sat on it??!!! This really makes no fuckin sense to me and I am still unbelievably amused with papa mangina hanging upside down 40 feet away from me, but this woman is a complete wreck. I try to comfort her and as ski patrol finally gets there, her other son yells, “mom, they got dad down!!” and she crumples to her knees balling. I try to awkwardly rub her back and ask if she’s okay. Her reply, “no, no, no, I’m not okay…I hope nobody took a picture”. Well, check the links below and you will find that many pictures were taken. As Gwen Stefani would say, this shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S…

 

[CaptainWacky]

Has anyone seen the Curb Your Enthusiams episode where Larry gets trapped on ski lift with an orthodox jewish woman and she throws herself off because he eats a pair of edible panties? Stuff like that realy happens.

 

[Volpone]

Serves him right for wearing a helmet to a ski area.

Seriously. Unless you are:
-a downhill racer and will be going 70mph or more over snow,
-an extreme skier, skiing outside of a ski area and could ski off a cliff and onto rocks,
-skiing through trees at more than 15mph,
you should not wear a helmet. If you are so stupid/out of control that you can't avoid hitting the chair lift pylons that are like, one across the whole slope every 300 yards or so, you should not be out skiing.

 

[Cassie]

I have never been skiing, it doesn't snow here

 

[ctmelvital]

Serves him right for wearing a helmet to a ski area.

Seriously. Unless you are:
-a downhill racer and will be going 70mph or more over snow,
-an extreme skier, skiing outside of a ski area and could ski off a cliff and onto rocks,
-skiing through trees at more than 15mph,
you should not wear a helmet. If you are so stupid/out of control that you can't avoid hitting the chair lift pylons that are like, one across the whole slope every 300 yards or so, you should not be out skiing.

I disagree. :bergman:

Maybe it's because I occasionally do go 70mph (or at least used to) but they've served me very well. Some kid ran into me once - good thing I was wearing a helmet or I would've lost my teeth (and thanks to a new helmet I was allowed to go skiing again a week afterwards).
There's plenty of potential for accidents if you do it properly. :ramen:

 

[Volpone]

You know who else wheres a helmet everywhere they go?

Retards.

 

[ctmelvital]

You know who else wheres a helmet everywhere they go?

Retards.

Just because you Americans don't know how to ski properly?

 

[Dual]

What's with the dual?

 

[CaptainWacky]

I'd rather wear a helmet than...die.

 

[Cassie]

I wear a helmet when I leave my computer.

 

[Volpone]

When you're awesome like me you don't need a helmet.*








*Except on a motorcycle. There is no way you'd get me on a motorcycle without a helmet.