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Smoke Monster

WALT WILL COME BACK WITH 9 FOOT EXTENDIBLE CYBERNETIC ARMS WITH A SWISS ARMY KNIFE FOR EACH FINGER. GENERIC KOREAN GUY WILL LOSE BOTH LEGS AND HAVE THEM REPLACED WITH A GIANT SPRING, EARNING THE HILARIOUS NICKNAME 'ZEBEDEE' FROM HIS FELLOW ISLANDERS. SAWYER WILL FINALLY SHAVE, BUT DECAPITATE HIMSELF WITH THE RAZOR, BUT MIRACULOUSLY SURVIVE, EARNING THE HILARIOUS NICKNAME 'HEADLESS GUY'. LOCKE WILL OPEN A PORN SHOP ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ISLAND, WHERE ALL PORN IS SUPPLIED FROM BAD DRAWINGS OF HIS FELLOW ISLANDERS ON BANANA PLANT LEAVES. HURLEY WILL ASCEND AND TURN INTO A GIANT SNAKE, BUT A NICE ONE. THE BLACK LADY WILL OPEN A KFC. JACK WILL BECOME THE LOST (HAHAHAHA PUN!) MEMBER OF RUN DMC AND CONTINUALLY BEAT JASON NEVINS IN A DAILY TITANIC STRUGGLE. KATE WILL RUN AROUND NAKED FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES ME TO GET BORED. CHARLIE WILL TIE MR EKO'S PENIS INTO NUMEROUS BALLOON ANIMALS MUCH TO THE AMUSEMENT OF THE AUSSIE BIRD WHO ACCIDENTLY EATS THE BABY THINKING IT IS COCAINE.
 
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