So, if DOCTOR WHO has three arseistants...

[Gagh]

...it stands to reason there will be SIX next season, then SIXTY, then SIX HUNDRED, until finally the TARDIS is so fucking full of annoying bitches it can't lift off or do shit, like when it was always broken back in the "BBC Can't afford it" days when I was a nipper.

So, if all these slappers have to come from somewhere, we need to rustle up some arseistants for Tenant to perv over, and hide their Dutch Caps.

So I reckon 'coz is all political correctness and all that PC BOLLOCKS in this JOKE of a nation these days, one of them has to have a Burkah (Davina McCall to play?) another has to be a DARKIE even DARKER than Agyemang (prolly Angellica Bell or Diana Louise Jordan), this arseistant would be cooled MISTRESS COONLIPS or something else that apologises for 18th century slavery for the Labour government lol.

So, others could be FORMER GLADIATOR "WOLFMAN" WOLF (Awooga) with a stuffed bra - he could be WRINKLY WOLFETTE, and that google-eyed Countdown bitch Carol Vorderman - she could be THE INCREDIBLE MATHS WOMAN or something.

So who else could we have, my slinky little Mine Field darlings (lol that sounds gay).

 

[CaptainWacky]

How about the midget that played R2 but he has to stay inside a trash can because he's constantly masturbating and sometimes the Doctor looks in and says "talk about OsCUM the grouch!"

How about Allison Mack wearing nothing but jeans and a bra, no shoes, bare feet?

 

[headvoid]

I would be happy if a crappy female comic came on and acted like a rigid yet rotting corpse every week - oh, we already have that.

 

[CaptainWacky]

DAWC-TORRRRR!

 

[Gagh]

Pat Butcher as new arseistant?

 

[CaptainWacky]

JANELLE TIMMINS WOULD BE BETTER.