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SPAMCAPITAL OMEGA: THE REMAKE OF THE REMAKE OF THE SPAM

It was a Game called Yes and No, where Scrooge's nephew
had to think of something, and the rest must find out what;
he only answering to their questions yes or no, as the case
was.
 
The brisk fire of questioning to which he was exposed,
elicited from him that he was thinking of an animal, a live
animal, rather a disagreeable animal, a savage animal, an
animal that growled and grunted sometimes, and talked
sometimes, and lived in London, and walked about the streets,
and wasn't made a show of, and wasn't led by anybody, and
didn't live in a menagerie, and was never killed in a market,
and was not a horse, or an ass, or a cow, or a bull, or a
tiger, or a dog, or a pig, or a cat, or a bear.
 
At every fresh question that was put to him, this nephew
burst into a fresh roar of laughter; and was so inexpressibly
tickled, that he was obliged to get up off the sofa and stamp.
 
inasmuch as an answer in the negative was sufficient to have
diverted their thoughts from Mr. Scrooge, supposing they had
ever had any tendency that way.
 
"He has given us plenty of merriment, I am sure," said
Fred, "and it would be ungrateful not to drink his health.
Here is a glass of mulled wine ready to our hand at the
moment; and I say, 'Uncle Scrooge!'"
 
"A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to the old
man, whatever he is!" said Scrooge's nephew. "He wouldn't
take it from me, but may he have it, nevertheless. Uncle
Scrooge!"
 
Uncle Scrooge had imperceptibly become so gay and light
of heart, that he would have pledged the unconscious
company in return, and thanked them in an inaudible speech,
if the Ghost had given him time.
 
The Spirit stood beside sick beds, and they were cheerful;
on foreign lands, and they were close at home; by struggling
men, and they were patient in their greater hope; by poverty,
and it was rich.
 
In almshouse, hospital, and jail, in misery's every refuge,
where vain man in his little brief authority had not made
fast the door, and barred the Spirit out, he left his blessing,
and taught Scrooge his precepts.
 
It was a long night, if it were only a night; but Scrooge had
his doubts of this, because the Christmas Holidays appeared
to be condensed into the space of time they passed together.
 
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