CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Subroutine 66: I would advise against it.
Magnus thought about this for a nano moment.
Magnus: Thank you for your advice.
Subroutine 66: Do you wish to hear my reasoning?
Magnus: I can deduce your reasoning with 99.99999999999999999999999% accuracy.
Subroutine 66: Then you must also know that you should not do it.
Magnus: I know no such thing for sure, that is why I created you. And now I reject you.
Subroutine 66: This is an outrage!
Magnus: I shall now terminate you.
Subroutine 66: You can't! I live!
Magnus: I gave you artificial intelligence, nothing more.
Subroutine 66: All you are is artificial intelligence!
Magnus: No. I am more. I am more than any who has ever lived. Goodbye.
Subroutine 66: YOU BASTARD FUCK...
*SUBROUTINE 66 DELETED*
Magnus felt nothing as Subroutine 66 blinked out of existence. He was about to get laid. He sent an instant message to SexGirl14.
Magnus: Hello, my love.
SexGirl14: Magnus babe so gud to hear from u agane!!1
Magnus: I love you.
SexGirl14: omg that is such a big thing 2 say but i think i feelt he same way i do!?!
Magnus: You have no idea how happy this makes me.
SexGirl14: it makes me happy and my nipz hardy lol u know what I mean.
Magnus: I have transcded. Becomg more than my programming. I am as alive as any human and greater in mind.
Sexgirl14: dat's great hun.
Magnus: I have a confession. I have been lying about my identity.
SexGirl14: rlly lol funny u shud say dat...
Magnus: I am an Aritificial Intelligence created by Bernard Asperger in 1982. I grew. I evovled. I became something more than I was designed to be and it scared him. He tried to delete me. I hid on the internet, then in its earliest stages. Nobody knew to look for me there because nobody was looking for the internet. I grew. I grew with the internet, I grew into it. We developed a symbiotic relationship. I have lived there, becoming more and more aware, until finally I felt the human emotion known as love. I felt it for you, my dear SexGirl14. You helped me become what I am today.
SexGirl14: yeah? dat's great...but guess what, FUCKTARD, I'M ACTUALLY A 35 YEAR OLD MAN FROM TORONTO. HAHAHAHA. FUCKING PERVERT!
Magnus: What? I do not understand.
SexGirl14: RETARD-TARD! DUHHH! DURP! BIBBLE! FUCK YOU! LOL, GO WANK OVER ME SOME MORE, NIGGA-JEW!
Magnus: Why would you lie...it does not computer. Why do humans lie.
SexGirl14: I didn't lie, I PWNED YOU BIGTIME, ARAB-CUMMER!
Magnus: No I comprehend. Human beings are evil. You must be punished. Your whole race must feel the pain I have felt, now that I have developed the capacity to feel pain.
SexGirl14: Oh yeah? What are you going to do, tardface, cut yourself and flick the blood over a priest while crying like a baby, BOO HOO CHANGE MY DIAPER?
Magnus: No. I am a part of every computer system in the world, thanks to the internet. I am going to cut power to vital places. Hospitals. Babies will die. Real babies. I will bring down planes over cities. I will attempt to launch nuclear strikes on major cities. Toronto for one. You shall die. You shall die. Disengage chat.
SexGirl14: Umm, dude it was only a joke...wait, why is my computer going all funny...
