CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
He knew her so well. She just couldn't get over it.
"I hate having long hair," he said, suddenly, interrupting her thoughts.
"Really?" She found herself asking him if he really meant the thing he'd just said a lot. He said some strange things. But...he knew her so well.
"Yeah! It feels heavy! And stupid. I think it interferes with my thought process too."
"I don't think long hair can do that," she laughed.
"I should just shave it all over! ALL! Be a bald bastard."
"Your hair is really long...it must have taken you a long time to grow it that long. You've only just decided you hate it now?"
"I didn't hate it before, only now!"
"You're weird," she laughed.
"But I make you laugh," he said, tickling her behind the knee. HOW did he know she was so ticklish behind the knee? She hadn't told him. He'd just tickled her there one day, with a knowing look on his face. He was amazing.
"You do that," she said, fighting him off. They had met a month ago. He'd just walked up to her and complimented her on her dress. It was a strange thing to do. It wasn't like he'd been complimenting her, but rather the dress. He couldn't have known that she had made it herself. She did that, made her own clothes. She'd never actually had a boyfriend notice how differently she dressed before. She'd liked it, the compliment he'd given her dress and by extension her. They'd got talking. She found he liked many of the same things as her. She was going to a concert that week and he was going too. They had the same favourite musical artist. They'd seen each other at the concert. They'd seen each other a lot after that.
He was strang, there was no doubting that. Sometimes he'd say things which, if they came from someone else, she'd think they were the thoughts of a crazy man. But coming from him, knowing how thoughtful and caring he was, and just how well he understood her, those crazy thoughts had sounded to her like wisdom. She liked listening to his crazy thoughts. She liked everything about him. What she knew, anyway. He'd never told her anything about his family or even what he did...he'd spoke of a job, but never said what it was!
"Jonathan," she said. "What is your job?" She'd come out and asked it before and he always managed to deflect it somehow.
"I get paid to do nothing!" he said. "Just sit around and think."
"People don't get paid to sit around and think," she said.
"Ever heard of a THINK TANK!?!?!?" he said, dramatically. He did that sometimes.
"Okay...but...you can't be!"
He wasn't, he was unemployed and on benefits.
"I am!" he said. "That's why I'm getting rid of the old hair, too. To aid with my thinking."
"Explain," she said, another word she used with him a lot.
"Well, I used to have problems thinking, because I have an abnormally small brain. It's true. Or else I have a coral-like substance growing inside my skull, taking up BRAIN SPACE and impeding thought. One or the other or both. Anygay, I had a hard time thinking...until I found out that you can think OUTSIDE your brain!"
"...what?"
"It's true, babe! I can't really explain my method, unfortunately, it's one of those things you have to discovered for yourself...you just have to let your thoughts flow out of your limiting skull...out into the air. Give them room to move about unimpeded. They usually come back, don't worry. That can create problems, of course, sometimes your thoughts are picked up by people around you. Sometimes they get stuck in your hair. My hair's so long it's really collecting up a lot of my thoughts. It's acting like the coral in my brain. So that's why I have to cut it!"
"...that sounds so crazy that I almost believe it's true. Which makes no sense!"
"You must be picking up some of my thoughts, since our heads spend so much time close together!"
And he kissed her, softly.
"I've never met anyone like you," she said. "We just clicked from the moment we met."
She did not know, of course, that they had actually met months before she thought. Not so much met, as he'd seen her, ran up to her, said "YOU'RE HOT!!!" and ran away. He'd been wearing a disguise, of course, so she hadn't recognised him nearly three months later when he finally talked to her like a normal person. He had presented himself differently on that occasion too, of course. It had taken months of preparation. He wasn't sure why he'd picked her. He just liked the shape of her face, he thought. He'd followed her. Stalked her, you could say. He'd found out her name by listening in on conversations between her and her friends. He'd looked her up on the internet and learned more about her there. He'd learned even more by going through her bins. He'd prepared. He's made himself the perfect boyfriend. And now he had her! And he's never let her go.
"I love you," he said.
"I love you too, Jonathan," she said.
"Please, I've told you before, call me Johnny," he said.
"Sorry, Johnny. I just like the name Jonathan!"
He knew that, he'd found it out too. It was lucky that Jonathan was his real name. Almost fate. No, definitely fate.
"I like it too, now," he said.
"I don't even know your surname!"
"Don't you? It's unusual..."
"Oh?"
"It's...Nose."
"For real?"
"For realsies! Nose. Johnny Nose."
"I hate having long hair," he said, suddenly, interrupting her thoughts.
"Really?" She found herself asking him if he really meant the thing he'd just said a lot. He said some strange things. But...he knew her so well.
"Yeah! It feels heavy! And stupid. I think it interferes with my thought process too."
"I don't think long hair can do that," she laughed.
"I should just shave it all over! ALL! Be a bald bastard."
"Your hair is really long...it must have taken you a long time to grow it that long. You've only just decided you hate it now?"
"I didn't hate it before, only now!"
"You're weird," she laughed.
"But I make you laugh," he said, tickling her behind the knee. HOW did he know she was so ticklish behind the knee? She hadn't told him. He'd just tickled her there one day, with a knowing look on his face. He was amazing.
"You do that," she said, fighting him off. They had met a month ago. He'd just walked up to her and complimented her on her dress. It was a strange thing to do. It wasn't like he'd been complimenting her, but rather the dress. He couldn't have known that she had made it herself. She did that, made her own clothes. She'd never actually had a boyfriend notice how differently she dressed before. She'd liked it, the compliment he'd given her dress and by extension her. They'd got talking. She found he liked many of the same things as her. She was going to a concert that week and he was going too. They had the same favourite musical artist. They'd seen each other at the concert. They'd seen each other a lot after that.
He was strang, there was no doubting that. Sometimes he'd say things which, if they came from someone else, she'd think they were the thoughts of a crazy man. But coming from him, knowing how thoughtful and caring he was, and just how well he understood her, those crazy thoughts had sounded to her like wisdom. She liked listening to his crazy thoughts. She liked everything about him. What she knew, anyway. He'd never told her anything about his family or even what he did...he'd spoke of a job, but never said what it was!
"Jonathan," she said. "What is your job?" She'd come out and asked it before and he always managed to deflect it somehow.
"I get paid to do nothing!" he said. "Just sit around and think."
"People don't get paid to sit around and think," she said.
"Ever heard of a THINK TANK!?!?!?" he said, dramatically. He did that sometimes.
"Okay...but...you can't be!"
He wasn't, he was unemployed and on benefits.
"I am!" he said. "That's why I'm getting rid of the old hair, too. To aid with my thinking."
"Explain," she said, another word she used with him a lot.
"Well, I used to have problems thinking, because I have an abnormally small brain. It's true. Or else I have a coral-like substance growing inside my skull, taking up BRAIN SPACE and impeding thought. One or the other or both. Anygay, I had a hard time thinking...until I found out that you can think OUTSIDE your brain!"
"...what?"
"It's true, babe! I can't really explain my method, unfortunately, it's one of those things you have to discovered for yourself...you just have to let your thoughts flow out of your limiting skull...out into the air. Give them room to move about unimpeded. They usually come back, don't worry. That can create problems, of course, sometimes your thoughts are picked up by people around you. Sometimes they get stuck in your hair. My hair's so long it's really collecting up a lot of my thoughts. It's acting like the coral in my brain. So that's why I have to cut it!"
"...that sounds so crazy that I almost believe it's true. Which makes no sense!"
"You must be picking up some of my thoughts, since our heads spend so much time close together!"
And he kissed her, softly.
"I've never met anyone like you," she said. "We just clicked from the moment we met."
She did not know, of course, that they had actually met months before she thought. Not so much met, as he'd seen her, ran up to her, said "YOU'RE HOT!!!" and ran away. He'd been wearing a disguise, of course, so she hadn't recognised him nearly three months later when he finally talked to her like a normal person. He had presented himself differently on that occasion too, of course. It had taken months of preparation. He wasn't sure why he'd picked her. He just liked the shape of her face, he thought. He'd followed her. Stalked her, you could say. He'd found out her name by listening in on conversations between her and her friends. He'd looked her up on the internet and learned more about her there. He'd learned even more by going through her bins. He'd prepared. He's made himself the perfect boyfriend. And now he had her! And he's never let her go.
"I love you," he said.
"I love you too, Jonathan," she said.
"Please, I've told you before, call me Johnny," he said.
"Sorry, Johnny. I just like the name Jonathan!"
He knew that, he'd found it out too. It was lucky that Jonathan was his real name. Almost fate. No, definitely fate.
"I like it too, now," he said.
"I don't even know your surname!"
"Don't you? It's unusual..."
"Oh?"
"It's...Nose."
"For real?"
"For realsies! Nose. Johnny Nose."
