STORY TIME WITH MR. BIBBLE AND BUCKET THE CAT

[Dark Pickle]

Mr. Bibble Goes
To The Movies​

It was a long lazy Saturday afternoon, and Mr. Bibble was bored. There was nothing on TV. All of his friends were busy. He'd read all of his books. Mr. Bibble was bored. He didn't know what to do. Nothing to do online. All of his toys were broken. Nothing going on in his yard.

Mr. Bibble made himself a sandwich. Mr. Bibble ate his sandwich, and washed it down with a nice cool glass of lemonade. It tasted wonderful.

But Mr. Bibble was still bored.

Mr. Bibble picked up the paper. But there was nothing interesting going on in the world. Wars, robberies, kidnapping and murders. Also rape. Mr. Bibble had read it all before.

Then Mr. Bibble saw the ad for the movies. They all looked like the sucked. But it was something to do. Mr. Bibble selected a movie that looked as if it might be more interesting than the others. Mr. Bibble wasn't expecting much, but a few hours of diversion would suit him just fine. The next show time was in about two hours.

Mr. Bibble brushed his teeth. Mr. Bibble shaved his face. Mr. Bibble took a shower. Mr. Bibble dried off. Mr. Bibble put on some deodorant. Mr. Bibble got dressed and combed his hair.

There was an hour left before the movie started. Mr. Bibble decided that if he walked, he would make it to the theatre just in time. Mr. Bibble fed his cat, BUCKET, and locked the door behind him.

On his way, Mr. Bibble ran into his sweetheart, Ms. Babble.

"Mr. Bibble! Isn't it a lovely day?"

"It is indeed a lovely day, Ms. Babble." Mr. Bibble replied.

"And where, pray tell, would you be going to, on such a lovely day as this?" Ms. Babble asked.

"Why, I'm off to see a movie at the picture show, Ms. Babble." Mr. Bibble informed her.

"And what movie do you intend to see?"

"The film in question is called ADVENTURES IN SPAM, and stars one Mr. Spamburger. Would you care to join me?"

"Mr. Bibble! I'd be delighted to accompany you to this film!"

Mr. Bibble took Ms Babble in his arm, and they walked together to the theater.

"Ms. Babble, would you care for popcorn, soda pop, or any sort of refreshments while we watch the movie?"

"Why no, Mr. Bibble. I ate just before meeting you, and am quite full."

"Very well. I'm not hungry either, and these places always charge too much for food and drink."

During the movie, Mr. Bibble put his arm over Ms. Babble's shoulder. He was afraid he might have been too forward, but Ms. Babble leaned into it. The movie was indeed quite boring, but our happy couple didn't seem to mind at all. Halfway through, Ms. Babble kissed Mr. Bibble deeply.

On the walk home, Ms. Babble invited Mr. Bibble to come into her home, and see her paintings.

"But Ms. Babble! I wouldn't want to rush things!"

"Rush things? Don't be silly dear! We've been dating 37 years!"

And that was the night that Mr. Bibble lost his virginity.

 

[Dark Pickle]

BUCKET the Cat​

BUCKET was not the world's greatest cat, but he tried to be good. BUCKET knew that Mr. Bibble had no interest in dead birds and mice, so BUCKET never brought those things to Mr. Bibble. BUCKET new that Mr. Bibble didn't like finding cat shit in his shoes, so BUCKET tried never to shit in Mr. Bibble's shoes. BUCKET knew that Mr. Bibble didn't want him spraying inside the house, so BUCKET never sprayed. Out of gratitude and consideration for these facts, Mr. Bibble decided not to have BUCKET fixed. This suited BUCKET just fine, as the cat was rather fond of his genitals, and saw no reason to be without them. All in all, BUCKET and Mr. Bibble were happy together, and very rarely did their purposes cross.

It was only when Mr. Bibble began seeing more of Ms. Babble, that BUCKET began to know vexation. It was not that BUCKET had anything against Ms. Babble personally, though it seemed Ms. Babble wanted to pet him or hold him at times he'd prefer not to be held or petted.

No, the problem was much worse than that. Ms. Babble had a dog named HOLE, that she INSISTED accompany her on her increasingly frequent visits to the home of Mr. Bibble and BUCKET. HOLE and BUCKET despised each other, as almost all cats and dogs despise each other. HOLE was a white toy poodle of advanced years, and seemed to be cranky and hostile at all times. HOLE also loved to chase BUCKET, and sometimes it took more than one or two ill intended swipes of BUCKETS claws to discourage the pooch. Worse, HOLE was in love with the sound of her own voice, and would bark constantly.

BUCKET did the best he could to make himself unavailable during the times that Ms. Babble and HOLE would visit. Sometimes he would sneak off on his own, in search of a she-cat in heat. Other times, he would find some secret cat place, inaccessible to humans and dogs, and sleep until the bitch had departed.

But because BUCKET was indeed a good cat, he would sometimes try to make friends with HOLE. But Hole was a stupid bitch indeed, and never understood BUCKETS attempts at kindness for what they were. BUCKET presented a dead mouse to HOLE. The dog of course ate the mouse, but then gave no gift to BUCKET in return. This infuriated BUCKET to no end.

HOLE was forever getting into BUCKET'S toys and food. Often, BUCKET and HOLE would get into terrible fights, and it would be up to Mr. Bibble and Ms. Babble to separate them.

Then came the day that Mr. Bibble dropped the bomb right on top of BUCKET'S poor head.

"Ms. Babble and I are getting married," Mr. Bibble told his cat, "She and HOLE will be living with us from now on."

BUCKET was shocked. This was terrible! BUCKET didn't know what to do.

"I suppose I could run away," BUCKET thought to himself, "but that will never do. I am a good cat, and besides, I do love Mr. Bibble. But I'll be damned if I let that dog come into MY house and run roughshod over everything!"

Day after day and night after night, BUCKET planned his plans and plotted his plots against that odious beast, HOLE. The first night they were all together in the little house on SPAM STREET as a family, BUCKET launched his attack.

He clawed at the dog's face, letting her chase him into the kitchen, where BUCKET had already made a terrible mess. Upon hearing the footsteps of Mr. Bibble and Mrs. Bibble (formerly Ms. Babble) BUCKET quickly hid, leaving the hapless HOLE barking, in the middle of the messy kitchen.

"Oh, you nasty beast!" Mrs. Bibble cried, "Look at the mess you've made!"

It was a terrible mess indeed, there were broken dishes everywhere, the floor was smeared with feces, and a good portion of the food from the refrigerator had been scattered about.

"It's quite all right, Mrs. Bibble." Mr. Bibble said in his soothing voice. "The poor dog merely needs some time to adjust. We all do. It's a big change for all of us, and we can't expect to get used to it overnight."

This had upset BUCKET greatly, who had not expected Mr. Bibble to come to HOLE'S defense. BUCKET decided that, in order to achieve his goals, he must temporarily suspend the practice of being a good cat, and become a wicked cat indeed.

The next night, BUCKET laid a similar trap, only this time, he destroyed Mr. Bibble’s valued SPAM WARZ action figure collection, and once again lured HOLE into taking the blame.

"That tears it, Mrs. Bibble! I've tried to be patient and understanding with this dog of yours, but this time, she has simply gone too far!"

"I quite agree, Mr. Bibble! Though it pains me to say, the only solution is to take HOLE to obedience school, first thing in the morning!"

BUCKET looked on in satisfaction, victory was his!

But in the following days, BUCKET became very lonely. A startling revelation came over him...he actually MISSED the dog! BUCKET moped around most of the day, never touching his toys, and barely picking at his food. There wasn't much joy in the world without the dog that BUCKET had thought he hated above all others, but now understood was his friend.

"You miss her, don't you?" Mr. Bibble said one night, while petting BUCKET, "Well don't worry! HOLE comes back tomorrow, and you shall see great improvement in her behavior."

Mr. Bibble's words were proven true, for Hole returned the very next day, and the cat and dog became best friends.

"Just goes to show," Mrs. Bibble (formerly Ms. Babble) remarked, "no BUCKET is complete without a HOLE!"

 

[Kitty]

 

[Dark Pickle]

Someone finally read these?

LOLOLOLOL

 

[Loktar]

Someone finally read these?

LOLOLOLOL

Yes. It was kind of long for a punchline like that though.

 

[Dark Pickle]

They were originally spam, that's why they're so long

 

[Loktar]

k

 

[Dark Pickle]

Aight.

 

[jack]

Mr. Bibble Goes

To The Movies​

It was a long lazy Saturday afternoon, and Mr. Bibble was bored. There was nothing on TV. All of his friends were busy. He'd read all of his books. Mr. Bibble was bored. He didn't know what to do. Nothing to do online. All of his toys were broken. Nothing going on in his yard.

Mr. Bibble made himself a sandwich. Mr. Bibble ate his sandwich, and washed it down with a nice cool glass of lemonade. It tasted wonderful.

But Mr. Bibble was still bored.

Mr. Bibble picked up the paper. But there was nothing interesting going on in the world. Wars, robberies, kidnapping and murders. Also rape. Mr. Bibble had read it all before.

Then Mr. Bibble saw the ad for the movies. They all looked like the sucked. But it was something to do. Mr. Bibble selected a movie that looked as if it might be more interesting than the others. Mr. Bibble wasn't expecting much, but a few hours of diversion would suit him just fine. The next show time was in about two hours.

Mr. Bibble brushed his teeth. Mr. Bibble shaved his face. Mr. Bibble took a shower. Mr. Bibble dried off. Mr. Bibble put on some deodorant. Mr. Bibble got dressed and combed his hair.

There was an hour left before the movie started. Mr. Bibble decided that if he walked, he would make it to the theatre just in time. Mr. Bibble fed his cat, BUCKET, and locked the door behind him.

On his way, Mr. Bibble ran into his sweetheart, Ms. Babble.

"Mr. Bibble! Isn't it a lovely day?"

"It is indeed a lovely day, Ms. Babble." Mr. Bibble replied.

"And where, pray tell, would you be going to, on such a lovely day as this?" Ms. Babble asked.

"Why, I'm off to see a movie at the picture show, Ms. Babble." Mr. Bibble informed her.

"And what movie do you intend to see?"

"The film in question is called ADVENTURES IN SPAM, and stars one Mr. Spamburger. Would you care to join me?"

"Mr. Bibble! I'd be delighted to accompany you to this film!"

Mr. Bibble took Ms Babble in his arm, and they walked together to the theater.

"Ms. Babble, would you care for popcorn, soda pop, or any sort of refreshments while we watch the movie?"

"Why no, Mr. Bibble. I ate just before meeting you, and am quite full."

"Very well. I'm not hungry either, and these places always charge too much for food and drink."

During the movie, Mr. Bibble put his arm over Ms. Babble's shoulder. He was afraid he might have been too forward, but Ms. Babble leaned into it. The movie was indeed quite boring, but our happy couple didn't seem to mind at all. Halfway through, Ms. Babble kissed Mr. Bibble deeply.

On the walk home, Ms. Babble invited Mr. Bibble to come into her home, and see her paintings.

"But Ms. Babble! I wouldn't want to rush things!"

"Rush things? Don't be silly dear! We've been dating 37 years!"

And that was the night that Mr. Bibble lost his virginity.