Mandi
New Member
Ten important thoughts for 2005
10. Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
9. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
8. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection,
make him a sandwich!
7. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the
Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
6. Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you
still can't help but smile when you push one down the stairs.
5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of
nothing.
4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.
3. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial
tax cut save you thirty cents?
2. In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird
and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2005:
1. We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located amongst the
millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where
thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. We should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration
10. Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
9. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
8. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection,
make him a sandwich!
7. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the
Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
6. Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you
still can't help but smile when you push one down the stairs.
5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of
nothing.
4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.
3. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial
tax cut save you thirty cents?
2. In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird
and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2005:
1. We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located amongst the
millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where
thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. We should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration
