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The Bargainer
- Thread starter Mirah
- Start date
Mirah
I love you
I'm kinda going through the opposite right now. He wants it, but I'm trying to be a good girl and not a homewrecker. But it's getting harder and harder to say no.
Wanna switch places for a while, Lover?
Actually my situation is the same as yours. Would not do much good to switch lol.
Now I call my bargainer the begger. Its like they were me down, ask me enough times and eventually I will say yes.
Why don't I just tell the guy to take a hike? Common circle of friends makes it akward. Plus I considered him a friend.
Never shit where you eat.
Consumer
Elder Statesman
I will tell you this.
It was true back before I closed my marriage. It is true now that I am a "free" man again.
A Man who can say "No" confidently and without fuss will generally have women pursue him. It's related to the "bad boy" vibe, only far better as you don't need to be a jerk or a liar, just know what you want, and be able to hold the Power and say "no" if you wish.
I have done this with two people in the last month. Not that I wasn't attracted, but they weren't a good "fit" in all areas. I also have "long term" options with issues, but possibilities.
Now I am pushing very slightly with someone else. Maybe it will yield something, maybe not. If not, then I get a good grin out of the experience for knowing her. If not, then the sea is vast, and the world is full of beautiful women...
There is never a need to beg. "Bargaining" is an illusion.
Yield and love, or walk away and pine. The Path of the Bastard. (smile)
It was true back before I closed my marriage. It is true now that I am a "free" man again.
A Man who can say "No" confidently and without fuss will generally have women pursue him. It's related to the "bad boy" vibe, only far better as you don't need to be a jerk or a liar, just know what you want, and be able to hold the Power and say "no" if you wish.
I have done this with two people in the last month. Not that I wasn't attracted, but they weren't a good "fit" in all areas. I also have "long term" options with issues, but possibilities.
Now I am pushing very slightly with someone else. Maybe it will yield something, maybe not. If not, then I get a good grin out of the experience for knowing her. If not, then the sea is vast, and the world is full of beautiful women...
There is never a need to beg. "Bargaining" is an illusion.
Yield and love, or walk away and pine. The Path of the Bastard. (smile)
Consumer
Elder Statesman
I would say it depends on if a man wishes to just bed you, or if they want something more than just sex.
No for "just bed" means you are ignored until you come back around. Of course, the subject of your attention lives well (hikes, plays, tells tales around the office or social circle of what a good time he's having). You'll be back, for ego's sake if for nothing else.
If the "no" is from a woman who might be more than bedroom entertainment (note: if he's married as you've implied this is unlikely) then backing off for a time and presenting her with alternatives, i.e. platonic friendship, is an option. Of course, then you play a variation on the "living well" theme and she'll come around sooner or later. The difference is in the levels of engagement. It also gives you (the male) time to decide how much effort she's potentially worth...and if she isn't, a graceful exit.
Basically, Ms. Tis, if you desire, then you are screwed. Depending on his level of sophistication, he might be playing games with YOU. If he cheats on his wife, this is likely.
I always feel badly for the "other women". They are doomed to be playthings, even if the guy is sincere in his affection. There is complication, and a problem from the START of the relationship that there is a lie at the "base" of it all. Such relationships are great as distractions form other issues in life...but are not good as actual relationships.
Keep saying "no". Tell him "You're married, and I don't need the drama". That takes the "desire" aspect out and makes you less play-able. You can also play the bitch and say "You get me when the divorce is final, until then I'll just show you my cleavage."
Or you can just go look up Greg, I've heard he's fun.
No for "just bed" means you are ignored until you come back around. Of course, the subject of your attention lives well (hikes, plays, tells tales around the office or social circle of what a good time he's having). You'll be back, for ego's sake if for nothing else.
If the "no" is from a woman who might be more than bedroom entertainment (note: if he's married as you've implied this is unlikely) then backing off for a time and presenting her with alternatives, i.e. platonic friendship, is an option. Of course, then you play a variation on the "living well" theme and she'll come around sooner or later. The difference is in the levels of engagement. It also gives you (the male) time to decide how much effort she's potentially worth...and if she isn't, a graceful exit.
Basically, Ms. Tis, if you desire, then you are screwed. Depending on his level of sophistication, he might be playing games with YOU. If he cheats on his wife, this is likely.
I always feel badly for the "other women". They are doomed to be playthings, even if the guy is sincere in his affection. There is complication, and a problem from the START of the relationship that there is a lie at the "base" of it all. Such relationships are great as distractions form other issues in life...but are not good as actual relationships.
Keep saying "no". Tell him "You're married, and I don't need the drama". That takes the "desire" aspect out and makes you less play-able. You can also play the bitch and say "You get me when the divorce is final, until then I'll just show you my cleavage."
Or you can just go look up Greg, I've heard he's fun.
Homo Erectus
Registered User
was it good distraction?