Dark Pickle
Fucked Off
is this thread
I shamelessly stole the "3 word story" idea, and used it on other boards, including this one.
Just TRY reading this without laughing yourself retarded!
MORE TO COME!
(with apologies to ChrisW)
I shamelessly stole the "3 word story" idea, and used it on other boards, including this one.
Just TRY reading this without laughing yourself retarded!
BUCK ROGERS VERSUS THE EROTIC BALLOON ANIMALS
CHAPTER ONE
In The Jungle
In the jungle, where monkeys say "We all jerk our dick cheese into Hunter's eyes until he screams 'Hoochie Mama!", the initiation sucks Decker's carbonated, strawberry-flavored buttnuggets. That's why I always say "the gutters suck, but Jesus saves those who blow erotic balloon animals." Fuck ducks like Harvey Fierstein did.
"This an end?"
"Please learn English."
I and I in creation where one's nature neither learned English either. Oops, I did a different hole every night. Roderick stuffs the turkey like a virgin stuffs an envelope. Anal gravy dripping down the side his monkey says "Cindy Lauper's cock rests atop the… The virgin's giant ass, which is more than three words, Luna...."
"Six words, Vapnoop?"
"(ahem) Only thegood die young."
"Fuck you Beck."
"High blood pressure?" said Junior Samples, oblivious to the pickin' and grinnin' goin' on behind Minnie Pearl's back. But he didn't reckon on hearin' the sound of Jack's fat belly. Please be funny. If you can't, then don't post! Everyone just shut your eyes and think of England.
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern sitting in a tree, kissing like Semolina Pilchard falling down a well. Thumus introduced sanitary napkins to the tired, poor, huddled erotic balloon animals yearning to be blown up like the rat. Be befuddled honestly. Act now under an August where (EveryoneElse distrusts) your counting ability was in question. Cataclysmic brain trauma or gutter's dogma on today's Oprah. Tune in tomorrow to see Jack's dismemberment of Steve0444.
Stately, plump Buck Rogers in the loveliest wedding gown with black frills and a toaster! He stopped when his shoe stepped without his permission, upon Thumus' sac and caused him profound erotic pleasures his naughty shoe could only provide. The sentient shoe will stamp Phil Silvers, but only if he shits erotic balloon animals. "Condemn thy shoe" Junior Samples said, as The Buckaroos dunked their poundcake in the toilet.
"Condemn this, junior!" screamed Grandpa Jones, grabbing Buck's shoe and hurling it out the window at Recine's bunghole while kittens pranced on the head of Alfredo Garcia. That's when I and my dolphin lit the dynamite.
"Save us, Aquaman!" cried the desperate erotic balloon animals, Huey, Duey, and the Chinese guy.
"What'd you say?" said Ray Charles
"Who that be?"
"I can smell..."
"I'm Shang Chi," said the master of vaginal discharge. My dolphin companion spewed ambergris everywhere he saw fit. The lit dynamite fizzled out like-- exploded in my hand, killing everyone.
"The end, y'all."
"Eat shit, Frank," said the pussy hound, with glee club accompaniment. The votes for challenges rule out Huntress and apply Danny liberally around infected colon, to worsen when Spack licks your mother's gash. Y'all skip to my lou my darling oh my GOD! WHAT THE SAM HILL HAPPENED!?!!
Her panties are licorice-flavored, and equipped with a thing on top. She calls it "Old Time Religion", wishing she could castrate the masses via telepathic beam or barbeque tongs. Her lilting song serenades the heathens.
(this means you)
(you're this mean)
(no more parenthesis)
My darling Mera, gettin with Veraaaaa aqualad's band. The Bustin Surf Boards rocked Atlantis with diced up rigatoni and slivered seahorses. Then I recall they sang and dropped ecstasy hits. My last-post unposted and re-edited, I commenced to draw and post again.
"Posted? On what?"
"What's on second."
"He's easily pleased! So damn him!"
The little yellow snowballs taste like slightly sour gumdrops that Grandma used to cure laryngitis as Hunter left his calling card, so I heard. A fist in Britteny's stinky maw, her uvula vibrating "Pay the clown" like a 1973 lame ass Ford Ranchero that's still in the box. If you burn your computer, we'll party like it's time to go potty in my drunk party clown colored vinyl panties that my mama had daddy wear.
In the jungle where monkeys say:
Lioooon picks his feet tonight wimoweh (mind the thorns)
wimoweh
wimoweh
wimoweh
"Hush, my darling your voice is like nails on..."
"Aweeoh um away"
"MY FUCKING EARDRUM!"
"Kill....you......all."
"Die internet die."
"Die stupid thread."
"DIE DIE DIE!!!"
"Almost paid for..."
"IT STILL LIVES!"
It lives in spite of Spack's aborted fetus breath and his other personality named Fifi. Fifi, darling of Fufu, who begat Fido, son of Weemie's dogfaced machete split frenum. "Redrum, redrum, redrum!" quothe the Raven, "my spelling sucks!" Then, masturbating furiously, floccinaucinihilipilification, hippopotomonstrosesquipedalian pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
fuck honorificabilitudinity, antidisestablishmentarianism!
"Taste chromium scrotum."
"Anyone miss Hunter?"
"My aim improves!"
"AND YOUR BREATH?"
"Morbo, you're gay."
"Hey hey mama."
Mommy touches me with a feather and the whip comes down like Weemie's sloshed grandma on Pinnochio's wooden sienna-stained ass, splinters flying, ow now brown cow. How does it feel being dead? Kind of like watching "The View" on a tiny little man's ass. Willie Johnson smiled, and thought, "Damn, the Gutters suck." His plan worked. All the ladies in the house said, "Heeeeeyyyyyyyy!!!!! Hooooooooooohhhhhhhh!!!!!" The music played rump shakin’ jams guaranteed to bust peoples heads open.
"Suck Gutters, suck."
"It's The End."
Pay the clown, then get out and take 'Siren' your meat, and hit "refresh" before your ritual suicide attempt of everyday. Life consists of ruining this thread bare excuse for kicking a midget over the goalpost. "FUCK THE COWBOYS!!!!" he screamed as Frank excreted pus from the boil that he calls his own face full stop period.
"Very good, Danny."
"Much obliged, Peter."
"You guys suck each others' gangrenous... Like Houston Texans."
"I give up."
"Can't give up. MUST... FIGHT... THE... EROTIC BALLOON ANIMALS to the death!"
"They are IMORTAL!"
"You are RETARD!" said the moron.
"Best thread evar."
"You said what?"
"Danny is inbred."
Once upon a time in Iraq, kinfolk said, "Jed, Akbar's got oil, Jeff's got fezzes and all we hillbillies fucked Pickle. Hellman flunked English..."
"Bite down onnit."
"Gabba gabba hey."
"One of YOU???"
"Don't think so."
"THAT'S a relief."
"Eat shit, Pickle."
"That's SO cliche!"
"You still here?"
I learned that making macaroni sculptures is not fulfilling. Especially when you take a Sam Crapalino poo hoagie and destroy it using only your penis or vagina to generate fund to pay clowns. Or pretend to write comic books that Sammy hates but, nevertheless, reads while munching turds. Came a duckfucker and sat down on Daffy's throbbing feathery member, and... and sloppily, quacking... and quivering ecstatically while, behind him, Crapalino waited impatiently to lick anus like rabid nuns.
"Eat shit, Pickle."
Lo, there shall come a long brown skin person and his faithful ex gay lover, "Shabba Doo" Jones, world record holder in the sixty-second erotic animal balloon toss. Just then, crystalline larval commandos feed Danny shit balls to Pickle whilst critiquing his shit-gobbling skills which cannot hope to rival Frank's.
"Eat shit, Rich." squeaked Frank, whilst which slaughtered Carson, "you fucking retard."
Pickle felching Frank New Year's coprophagia, tasting hot dog, stool sample, smorgasbord, bobbing for feces, galloping scat gourmet, septic tank fondue, hungry man shitpiles. "Bon appetit, Frank!"
Sorry!Wehaveflood-controlactivated.
Youcannotpostwithinacertainnumberofsecondsofyourlastpost.
Pleasetryagainafterthisperiodoftimeelapses.
"Suck it up, you miserable load of testicular scrapings. Boogie oogie oogie!"
The story continues...
... ... ...
Morbo was here fucking a rabbit in his ear while Rome burned all the monkeys with feathery asses! Ate frozen burritos from Quick-E-Mart in capital letters for three dollars per metric ton. Several months later a bomb dropped on Funkytown, U.S.A. killing innocent divas who were trying.
"This looks like a fun game, how do you play?"
"You put your left foot in all the way."
My baby goes "TAKE IT OUT! IT'S TOO BIG!" So I says, "What the fuck is wrong with that guy's head?"
"IT'S TOO BIG!"
I think my spastic colon feels stretched beyond comprehension. And, also, the inside of my head feels like a spastic colon stretched beyond comprehension... and beyond infinity. A rended slit can only mean one thing. Do unto others what a rended slit can only mean. Repressed Freudian duckfuckery resides in the asshole of Wisconsin to be sure. Yippie ki yi yay get along with the French. Fries, not Freedom of Information Act.
What the fuck has gone wrong with marijuana lately? It's just not the way I remember it. Perhaps the years have 365 days of 24 hours each joint? Does that turn you on? I'll have to think before burping that baby, 'cause he smells like James Gandolfini after a hard night
"Carry on, Guys!"
"Make us, dipshit."
"Ahora en español: chupa me verga."
"Estrujando la base."
"Ríase fuera fuerte!"
"Choros de sacacaca."
(bunch of shiteaters)
"No hablo espanish..."
(bumblebee es bueno)
"Morbo es malo y muy bonita. Frank es feo."
"Morbo es malo..."
"MU HAHA HA!"
"Yo quiero taco por las noches en Las Alcantarillas (in The Gutters) con salsa verde."
"Todos hablan Español! Grandioso!"
"TRES palabras, pendejo!"
"Ai yi yi!"
"Cierres tu boca!"
"Maricones Sin Tetas (Faggots Without Tits)."
"Nunca seguimos reglas..."
"Pague a payaso."
"Gozo del Ike 's son supports Kerry."
We're gonna groove like last time when the Ramones rocked an underground covered with velvet although two're dead, Nico, and Sterl said (while floating amidst soggy turds) "Please don't flush my stew away." Byrne board coprophagia and complex coprolalia gets me hot and bothered. However, we won't deny pigs can fly just as high as Omar's tumescent yet flabby skintag which emits an eardrum piercing shriek as airborne spermatozoa is splattered about fifty feet up John Byrne's colon hitting Omar right in his inner child. Hey he looks pretty surprised for someone who knocks back jizz like whiskey shots from a donkey's crab infested nutsac. Meanwhile, Ed Grendelfly quickly unbuttoned Byrne's soiled, leopard-printed slacks which fell just like Superman's cock into Ronan's strawberry frozen yogurt. Strawberry frozen yogurt is an analgesic that numbs Ronan's erotic balloon animals!
What are the strawberry frozen yogurt reps saying about yogurt-induced cataleptic stupors resulting from the 546th post (or 547th, whichever) cock into Ronan's whitewash word virus? "John Byrne Syndrome" Obviously, they swear loudly, and often "It's page 12", "We don't care" and other meaningless...
"You ruined it."
"Fuck it. It's fucked. Fuck it with Weemie's ween and Frank pushing deeply into Jefferson's pulsating pickle sac."
His eyes bulge with giddy delight as his tumescent coated by Danny's words mixed up by dyxlexic DJ who spoke Spanish, JD Alot SirMix, Danny's Life-Mate. This highly-addictive thread could be better off dead if David Ogden Stiers wasn't such a welcher. Then again, Minnie Pearl welches all the time.
Hunter possibly retarded several smalll animals by fucking them and telling them base-squeezing autoerotobongosexploits. "I CHALLENGE YOU!" screamed the retard while picking his underwear out of your mom's mouth. Hunter undeniably retarded three African pigmies by teabagging them with lawn gnomes attached to his balls of steel! In the meantime, the small retarded steel balls leak corrosive pickle juice, which smelled like what happens when hunters clean squirrel bladders that have urinary tract infections. Alas, Jennifer's horse was, of course, endowed with utterly enormous hairy testicles dangling from his... I mean, her infected vaginal purse. Ed *****'s lips pursed everso effeminately atop Hunter's dink but didn't think about his eye-sockets... would sexually arouse enough for penetration, barring any impotence cure developed through stem cell research or Hunter's oral hygenist. Meanwhile, in Cisco Bunny's anus, Hunter's pecker throbbed and spasmed, ejaculating green blobs upward in Danny's face!
"Anything to add?"
"Erotic balloon animals in Hunter's bunghole with Danny's spit!"
"Which you crave."
"In your dreams..."
"Like Roy Orbison ...only retarded. GOODNIGHT!"
"Are we done?"
"Yes. Goodnight, Frank."
"Goodnight, Dirty Danny."
"Good night, John-Boy."
"Good night, Gracie."
"GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM!"
Hunter is retarded. Danny blows goats. Hunter felches geriatrics.
Then suddenly, Jack broke out in a cold sweat when his base was gently stroked. "Kilroy was here" written in jizz ancient Austrohungarian dialect while Nero burned. ChrisW and Hunter orally pleasured gophers making Socko jealous using lazy haters and welfare mothers for prostate stimulation on Sean Murphy. Murphy's oil soap is a good anal sex lubricant. Vap's the expert at humiliating Hellman by cross-dressing each other's sons. Vap wears falsies 'neath fluffy sweater. Base-squeezing tranny. Danny's tiny shoes are filled with eyeballs of death, their squooshy membranes filling Vap's rectum. Jack gets a flexistraw.
"So Danny, how's it going, you bongo tranny?"
"Klaatu narada facto" we yelled as Vap noshed choad of cornholing yogananda. Danny felched jack, loving every drop
"大特製付録つきのほか、創刊記念企画が目白す！"
"Cunt cunt cunt."
"Criminally insane Vapster."
"Blow me, Hellman."
"Where's the love?"
"Go fuck yourself."
"Suck it, Hellman."
"Stuart is Vapnoopner," Vapnoopner told Socko, "lick it, Hellman."
Meat-palming rituals in tiny roofless sperm-drenched hut. Wearing wife's skin, her skull utilized to squeeze base. "Suck it, Hellman", said the glory hole patron as the clown gagged as he was forced to worship this stranger's cock. Vapster traipsing daintily wearing purple chemise. Hellman jerks off into little girl shoes. He says "Love littlegirl shoes."
The next morning, Danny's mom said "Be a man just like Vanpoopner."
"Jesus he's hideous, appalling shemale sockfest comic outhouse dragqueen fake brit onanism one man freakshow, self-crowned ‘king’ emperor of all the mental patients."
Danny’s mom says "Wear my panties while Jack fucks your droopy anus."
Crazy old coot. Another life wasted fucking your fist in damp basement. Family hates you; hoping you'll croak so they can sell your comics and live again. Divided we stand but united we blow Smackroscoe lovingly off the map. Meanwhile Captain America plowed missmanners is a goddess!missmanners is a goddess!missmanners is a goddess!missmanners is a goddess!missmanners is a goddess!missmanners is a goddess!missmanners is a goddess!missmanners is a goddess!'s sphincter, making Socko jealous.
"This is boring."
"Where's my money?"
"In the email with a female, and she says 'with my prozac babies in tow, Comics Urinal Meltdown made Thumus babies in the microwave.'"
"Merry fucking Christmas. And fuck elves, you're all retarded."
"Three words, retardo."
"Toronto produces retards, that was three and you're retarded."
"God bless us."
"Double post retards."
"Biotch crock, everyone."
"Ferry Muckmas, Everyone!"
"EAT SHIT FRANK."
"Three words, moron."
"For fuck sakes."
"?........Mahavishnu Pete MacDonald............?
"He's been reborn."
"Okay, here's three words, retard. What shall we do? Ooooooooops, I'm a retard. One amongst many."
"Three words, retard. "
God shed His underpants while Rome burned gutters bitches azz-a-es. Them bitches is doormats and pussies and they're retarded. Retarded retarded retarded. Re-tard-ed. In Dutch, achtergebleven. Thumus eats poo, Darth Groth beeotches. Izzatso?
MORE TO COME!
(with apologies to ChrisW)
