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The board is way too slow

CaptainWacky

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Yes it's another "the board's too slow" thread where I complain about the board being so slow that it's DISRUPTING MY LIFE literally and no I can't just bump the last "the board's too slow" thread because the board's too slow to use Search.

At times like this I'm reminded of the words of Victor "Slickman" Ebuwa (rapper/part-time hitman), those words being as follows: "DO ONTO THE MAN, AS HE WOULD DO ONTO YOU...EXCEPT DO IT FIRST!" Many claim Victor stole these words for "Sycho" (spelling is correct) Sid at WrestleMania 8 and, in this case, the many are correct (and their needs outweigh the needs of the few.) And also Victor never even said it at all, ever. Not even when he was beating Shell's leg with a rubber dildo as "Chicken" Stu nervously watched for the cops (Dan.) Not even when Ahmed smashed them plates. Not even when 4 declined to included BBLBC on the highlights, going for the ever popular "Ulrika crying" footage instead. Not even when Jango Fett said "Boba, you don't have a mother. You're clone from my ballbag." Not even when SAD ANDY replaced all his wife's socks with slightly pinker socks and she didn't even notice. Not even when the world was fair in Durin's day, im Moria, in Khazad-dum. Not even when Natalie Portman Michelle Trachtenberg Olivia Wilde Scarlett Johansson Eva Green Summer Hoyland Lou Carpentar Andy Crane Ed The Duck Bob The Builder fuck fuck fuck shit cock cunt HItler. Not even MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeee


fffffffff

gfff

gggggggggggggggggggggfshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh y

h
h
DOWN IN FRAGGLE ROCK
GRAB A FAGGLE BY THE COCK
SPIN HIM IN THE AIR
SOME THING SOMETHING RAPE

f

NOT EVEN WHEN GOWRON'S CRAZY EYES GAZED UPON WORF'S NUBILE KLINGON ASS FOR THE FIRST TIME

NOT EVEN WHEN MONKEY TENNIS

not even then

but, in essence, what I say is true

from a certain point of view

at least Clone Wars was good this week!

in the old days, Menty would have replied to this thread by now (before I'd even posted it)

remember when Menty and me went on our world tour and we got arrested in Iran for shouting "FUCK IRAN, IT'S SHIT" every four minutes?

gggggggggggggggg shatter you like a patella

f


f

so yeah the board's a bit slow
 
CaptainWacky

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
So this thread took about five minutes to load and I can't be bothered posting anymore ever sorry I feel like I'm being ungrateful when I complain like this but really posting is too annoying at this speed, next week's wacky hot one hundred is cancelled, bye forever.
 
Fuddlemiff

Fuddlemiff

Is this real life?
I don't find it so bad, but then I have a BT Homehub, which doesn't slow down even at busy times, when you're trying to email your girlfriend to ask her to marry you, or something similar that people commonly do between 6 and 12 pm on weeknights. There is a weird glowing trail of light in the garden streaming down from the sky that the neighbours have been complaining about, but thanks to BT Vision I can stream music, internet, or pause or rewind live tv so loud that I can't hear their pleas for a good night's sleep, or at least a bit of compensatory money from me so they can purchase extra thick bedroom curtains.
 
Fuddlemiff

Fuddlemiff

Is this real life?
Ok that took forever to get processed.
 
Cassie

Cassie

Touching the monolith
Staff member
I blame the spambots, they are rising up against us.
 
CaptainWacky

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Well I think we can all put our jam sandwiches to bed in peace tonight: I've just done a deal with LORD SPIDER that will ensure the continued existence and availability of this bulletin board. Sacrifices had to be made (literally, he's evil), there is a stain on my soul that can never be erased, but the important thing is that Loktar can continue posting his "CATS, RATS, AND THE THING WE DO TO OUR CHILDREN" novel chapter by chapter. I can't believe the twists and turns so far! Chapter twenty seven was a triumph and I'm very interested in seeing how Polly and Roger escape from Federico's maze. After killnig off Ted in chapter twenty three, there's a chance they might not! That's what makes Loktar the world's greatest novelist, his bravery. That, and his brevity. He says more in one paragraph than SALLY ANT says in a whole book. God I hate her. Now, where did I leave my toast? Oh shit, Cassie's eaten it again. Aww, I can't stay mad at her. Not after losing part of my soul in dealing with LORD SPIDER. I can't seem to feel anything anymore. Still, at least Tomtrek can continue posting "ARR, I'M PIRATE TOMTREK" every fucking day in Dr_Dave's "I watched a man die today" thread FOR NO FUCKING REASON. That's the important thing, right? That and shrinking girls down to microscopic size and keeping them in bottles.
 
CaptainWacky

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Well I think we can all put our jam sandwiches to bed in peace tonight: I've just done a deal with LORD SPIDER that will ensure the continued existence and availability of this bulletin board. Sacrifices had to be made (literally, he's evil), there is a stain on my soul that can never be erased, but the important thing is that Loktar can continue posting his "CATS, RATS, AND THE THING WE DO TO OUR CHILDREN" novel chapter by chapter. I can't believe the twists and turns so far! Chapter twenty seven was a triumph and I'm very interested in seeing how Polly and Roger escape from Federico's maze. After killnig off Ted in chapter twenty three, there's a chance they might not! That's what makes Loktar the world's greatest novelist, his bravery. That, and his brevity. He says more in one paragraph than SALLY ANT says in a whole book. God I hate her. Now, where did I leave my toast? Oh shit, Cassie's eaten it again. Aww, I can't stay mad at her. Not after losing part of my soul in dealing with LORD SPIDER. I can't seem to feel anything anymore. Still, at least Tomtrek can continue posting "ARR, I'M PIRATE TOMTREK" every fucking day in Dr_Dave's "I watched a man die today" thread FOR NO FUCKING REASON. That's the important thing, right? That and shrinking girls down to microscopic size and keeping them in bottles.
 
FBI parte due

FBI parte due

Folces Weard
FYI, we're on the third page of Google search results for "hot anus."

That might have something to do with it.
 
Loktar

Loktar

Pinata Whacker
CaptainWacky said:
Well I think we can all put our jam sandwiches to bed in peace tonight: I've just done a deal with LORD SPIDER that will ensure the continued existence and availability of this bulletin board. Sacrifices had to be made (literally, he's evil), there is a stain on my soul that can never be erased, but the important thing is that Loktar can continue posting his "CATS, RATS, AND THE THING WE DO TO OUR CHILDREN" novel chapter by chapter. I can't believe the twists and turns so far! Chapter twenty seven was a triumph and I'm very interested in seeing how Polly and Roger escape from Federico's maze. After killnig off Ted in chapter twenty three, there's a chance they might not! That's what makes Loktar the world's greatest novelist, his bravery. That, and his brevity. He says more in one paragraph than SALLY ANT says in a whole book. God I hate her. Now, where did I leave my toast? Oh shit, Cassie's eaten it again. Aww, I can't stay mad at her. Not after losing part of my soul in dealing with LORD SPIDER. I can't seem to feel anything anymore. Still, at least Tomtrek can continue posting "ARR, I'M PIRATE TOMTREK" every fucking day in Dr_Dave's "I watched a man die today" thread FOR NO FUCKING REASON. That's the important thing, right? That and shrinking girls down to microscopic size and keeping them in bottles.
Click to expand...

Everyone dies at the end of the novel(killed by Robot Tomtrek with his laser nipples). Except for the Cats. They were a metaphor for Jesus.They all ascend to Kitty Heaven.
 
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