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THE DAILY STAR GET ALL THE SCOOPS

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter


WHAT a STORY
 
"Big Bro", "Jacko", "Glasto" - CAN'T THEY USE THE WHOLE WORDS??????????????????????

smh
 
So what actually happened?

(I was out of town this weekend)
 
Apparently Michael Jackson had some sort of secret cinema where he would view porn.
 
Someone threw a tennis ball with "Dan is an actor" written on it over the wall. This apparently caused a terror alert.
 
Was the ball wrapped in a turban?
 
That headline sounds like it was generated by pulling popular tabloid topics out of a hat.

EASTENDERS SECRET SHARIA PRINCESS DIANA ADULTERY DEN
 
PAEDO TERRORIST NEW FEMALE DOCTOR WHO?
 
It's a logical next step, actually.
 
9650.imgcache.jpg


Amazing.
 
FUCKING TULISA.
 
They've now had 20 BB covers in a row. How many days/weeks are left?
 
NOT ENOUGH.
 
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