THE GET CASSIE A BROADBAND CONNECTION TELETHON

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

WELL WE'RE INTO HOUR 30,681 OF OUR TELETHON AND CASSIE IS STILL CONFINED TO HER LITTLE DIALUP CHAIR. WE STILL NEED YA TO CALL IN AND MAKE THOSE PLEDGES!

SO FAR WE'VE RAISED ABOUT 2.7 BILLION DOLLARS, UNFORTUNATELY WE CAN'Y TOUCH IT UNTIL CASSIE GETS A WORKABLE BROADBAND PROVIDER IN HER AREA. WE ARE CONSIDERING SIMPLY BUYING HER COUNTY AND LAYING DOWN THE FIBER OPTICS OURSELBESDFfdnxgfknzsireogrnlkddfbzfbd

 

[Cassie]

I keep up with the news on white spaces. Once the wireless microphone users can be convinced their wireless signals won't be interfered with, companies will hopefully release the technology that will allow rural areas to use that spectrum. Of course the giant cell phone companies will try to hog all of it, and charge outrageous fees for its use, THE RAT BASTARDS.

 

[CaptainWacky]

DIDN'T OBAMA PROMISE BROADBAND FOR CASSIE RIGHT FROM THE START?

 

[curiousa2z]

that was just to get her vote!

 

[CaptainWacky]

And to get her into bed.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

She had no choice. All the Tea Birther Partiers could promise was that she would go to Heaven because she was white.

 

[CaptainWacky]

JUST LIKE I NEVER GO TO HAVEN BECAUSE I'M SANE.

 

[Cassie]

I DARE YOU TO GO OVER TO HAVEN AND SAY THAT!

 

[curiousa2z]

*crowd draws a collective GASP*