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The Hobbit The Hobbit THE HOBBIT

This is really bad.

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With the billions spent on the movie they couldn't just get twenty people to dress up as Elves instead of copy and pasting the same plastic CGI face on all of them?
 
Would have been better if they'd just left the Hobbit clips out.

Also if they leave this out of the movie (spoilers for an 80 year old book I guess)...

There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West. Some courage and some wisdom, blended in measure. If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. But sad or merry, I must leave it now. Farewell!

I'm fucking DONE with Peter Jackson BIGTIME.
 
Jeez, that army does look lame. Last time around they included unfinished CG in the trailer (of the barrel scene iirc), which was vastly improved in the final edit. But it's a lot closer to release this time. :-/
 
Sooooo The Battle of the Five Armies, it was... it was... umm...

I really don't know how to rate this one, as it's kind of not a film? Well, not in the traditional sense.

I mean most third parts of a trilogy, while finishing off the main storylines, also had their own sub-arcs to make the film work on its own. Denethor's story in Return of the King, or the destruction of the Second Death Star in Return of the Jedi. This film... kinda doesn't have that. Like it has events that have starts, middles and ends, but nothing that really works on it's own. This is, essentially, "The Desolation of Smaug, part 2".

And that shows from the very start, as the film doesn't really have a beginning, it just picks up directly from where DoS finished, to the point that it was pretty obvious that this isn't actually where a film should start. And a side effect of this is that Smaug, undoubtedly the best part of the second film, is essentially a cameo in this film, with him dying within the first 10 or 15 minutes. Which is a bit unsatisfying, really, because he was so good in the last film.

And, of course, there's the fact that the majority of this film consists of stuff that wasn't in the book. But it didn't annoy me as much as it did in DoS, I think primarily because instead of jumping between "things not in the book" and "things not in the book", like DoS did, it's just one big chunk of "not in the book" all together in one chunk, which made it easier to get through.

And some of the battle stuff (there is a lot of battle stuff) is actually pretty good. Like, really good large middle Earth crazy Peter Jackson stuff that would've been good as a finale to a two-film story. Some of it... isn't as good. I don't think any of it is outright bad (well, maybe one or two bits), but I really don't care about Bard's family (THEY KEEP SAYING 'DA' AND IT'S REALLY ANNOYING) so I don't really care if Bard has to save them from trolls.

Man there were a lot of trolls in this film.

I'd say the worst parts about the actual battle were the fact that Legolas spends most of his time with Orcrist, insread of Thorin, and that Beorn has LITERALLY TEN SECONDS SCREENTIME. Seriously that's fucking bullshit. Take out all of the stupid stupid Kili/Tauriel stuff (which is still BY FAR the worst part of all three films) and give me more Beorn.

But yeah... it's kind of hard to know what to make of it. I... didn't hate it? I wasn't really blown away with it... it just didn't feel like a film. Well, it felt like the third act of a film stretched into it's own things. Which is what it was.


It was cool seeing Christopher Lee fight ghosts, though.
 
It has 62% on Rotten Tomatoes. But Desolation of Smaug has a higher score than Unexpected Journey even though it was clearly worse so this isn't necessarily significant.
 
"I don't really like the Hollywood blockbuster bandwagon that exists right now," Jackson told Movie Fone in a recent interview. "The industry and the advent of all the technology, has kind of lost its way. It's become very franchise driven and superhero driven. I've never read a comic book in my life so I'm immediately at a disadvantage and I have no interest in that."

"So, yes, I'm not going to head off and do a Marvel film. So if I don't do a Marvel film, I don't have any other choice - I've got to go make a small New Zealand movie!"

What does he think The Hobbit movies were?
 
Except he was a big fan of the Tintin comics, hence his involvement in that movie (I guess he meant superhero comics.)
 
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