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The Murder Gang

CaptainWacky

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
(Sally, Rusty and Zombie were resting in the murder gang's secret hideout.)

Rusty: Another fucking Christmas.

Sally: What are we going to do today?

Rusty: Oh, I wonder...how about we fucking kill some fuckers?

Sally: Like every other do.

Rusty: That are get pissed and watch tv all day.

(Zombie looks up from his book, Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince.)

Zombie: We kill.

Rusty: The man has spoken.

(Anna, the final member of the murder gang, walks in. She looks nervous. Sally rolls her eyes.)

Sally: Where have you been? Out crying again?

(Anna just sits in the corner, shaking.)

Rusty: Aww, I think she's broken.

Zombie: Leave her alone.

Sally: Come on Z, she's a silly cow...

Rusty: Sally, don't...

Sally: I don't know why we don't just kill her. She's got no taste for what we do. She only got into it because we forced her too.

Zombie: And that makes her our responsibility.

Sally: Don't see why! Were all the ones we killed our responsibility.

Rusty: Sal, give it a rest...

Zombie: We only entered their lives to end them.

Sally: So how about we end hers?

Zombie: It's not her time yet.

Sally: Bah.

Rusty: Shit, would you shut up?

(Zombie goes back to his book. Rusty whispers to Sally.)

Rusty: Don't go questioning Zombie...you know what he's capable of.

Sally: Not killing 19 year old twigs, apparently.

Anna: I...can't...go...on...

(Zombie walks over and puts his arm around Anna. Sally looks disgusted and even Rusty can barely hide his indignation.)

Sally: Something's got to be done about her...

Rusty: Just leave it...it's for the best.

Sally: We'll see.

TO BE CONTINUED
 
(Anna is in bed, fast asleep but still twitching. Sally is watching her.)

Sally: I don't know what Zombie sees in you...I know he'll be upset when you "die your sleep" but it has to be done...

(She starts to take a pillow to Anna's face but Rusty runs in.)

Rusty: Sally you moron, I told you to leave it!

Sally: Zombie will never know what happened...

Rusty: Of course he'll fucking know! Do you never pay attention when he's teaching us about the anotomy of the murder? Of course not, you just want to get out their slashing away carelessly while I watch your back...

Sally: The bitch has to die!

Rusty: I know...oh shit...

(Anna has woken up.)

Anna: What...what are you doing...where's Zombie...there was so much blood...

Sally: Shut her up or I will kill her, Zombie be damned.

(Rusty smiles.)

Rusty: I think I know how...

(He whips has cock out and leans over a terrified Anna. A shadow appears in the doorway.)

Zombie: Stop this. Now.

(Rusty quickly pulls his pants up.)

Rusty: I wans't going to...I mean, just a little...come on, you've done it!

Zombie: I haven't raped Anna.

Sally: You've raped me. What makes her so special?

Zombie: Maybe you were the special one and that's why I raped you? Or maybe you deserved it.

(Sally looks angry for a moment but then smiles.)

Sally: You're right, I'm scum, I'm worthless...do it again!

Zombie: Not in the mood. You okay Anna?

Anna: I think so.

Zombie: Get some sleep. Tomorrow's a big day.

(They leave Anna to sleep.)

Sally: What's tomorrow?

Rusty: We going to kill that 80 year old cow you've had your eyes on?

Sally: Mmm, I want to cut up her leatherly skin...

Zombie: We're not. Anna is.

TO BE CONTINUED
 
All will become clear IF YOU'RE WILLING TO GIVE IT A FUCKING CHACNE, JUST BECAUSE I'M UNCONVENTIONaL DOESN'T MEANT IT's A COMEDY
 
CaptainWacky said:
All will become clear IF YOU'RE WILLING TO GIVE IT A FUCKING CHACNE, JUST BECAUSE I'M UNCONVENTIONaL DOESN'T MEANT IT's A COMEDY
Click to expand...

So its a murder mystery, right?
 
Anna: I can't do it!

(The Murder Gang had easily captured the 80 year old woman and taken her back to their lair. She was cowering in a corner as Anna, shaking as much as the old woman, stood over her with a knife.)

Sally: I knew it! Why didn't we just kill the old bag out on the field, it's not like we're even going to rape her...

Rusty: Well...we would...

(Sally looked disgusted at first but then began to laugh. Zombie showed no emotion.)

Zombie: We won't. This isn't a fun kill. This is Anna's first kill.

Anna: I don't want to kill...I don't want to kill...

Sally(scoffing): You've done it before.

(Anna turned and spat her response at Sally.)

Anna: YOU MADE ME.

Zombie: Never the less, Sally has a point for once. You're one of us now, Anna.

Anna: I'm not...I'm not...

Rusty: Not until you kill this old bag. Go on, cut her up.

Zombie: There is a higher purpose to all this, Anna. Remember what we talked about.

(Anna slowly nodded. Sally and Rusty laughed behind her back.)

Sally: Higher purpose...the only purpose is fun.

Rusty: Zombie knows it. I saw him whacking off while I was, well, whacking off a 14 year old girl once. He's the same as us.

Anna: I'll do it Zombie...for the higher purpose.

Old Woman: No, please...I know I'm old, but I want to live...don't do it dearie!

(But Anna started slashing.)

Old Woman: TO HELL WITH YOU...I CURSE YOU TO A LIFE OF PAIN...TO HELLLLLL...AAAAAAH...

Sally: Have to admit, you cut her good.

Rusty: Welcome to the gang, I suppose.

Anna: I...I did good?

Zombie: You did good.

(Anna smiled then licked some of the blood off her bare arm. Did I mention that she was COMPLETELY NAKED!?)
 
(Zombie and Anna are alone in his room. Sally and Rusty are listening at the door.)

Anna: I had no idea it would feel so good.

Zombie: I told you so.

Anna: I know, but...I mean I trust you it's not I thought...I thought I was wrong somehow...

Sally: She's right there.

Rusty: Sssh.

Zombie: There's nothing wrong with you.

Anna: And I think I saw...

Zombie: Go on. You can tell me anything.

Anna: I saw the old woman leave her body.

(Sally laughs again and even Rusty does this time.)

Rusty: She's out of her mind!

Sally: What a retard.

Zombie: I knew you had the sight.

Anna: Are we special, Zombie? I know you can see it too, but Rusty and Sally can't.

Sally: Because we're not retards!

Zombie: We're special. And tomorrow you'll see even more souls in their purest form.

Anna: What do you mean?

Zombie: We're going to kill babies.

(Anna let's off a little squeel, almost orgasmic.)

Sally: About fucking time.

TO BE CONTINUED
 
(Early morning in the Murder Gang House. Sally and Rusty are excited.)

Sally: Babies...they die so easily. But it's SOO satisfying.

Rusty: I've never killed one.

Sally: I killed my own.

Rusty: Cool. Maybe I should get you pregnant and we could kill it together. It would be worth waiting nine months for.

(Zombie walks in with Anna trailing behind.)

Zombie: You really think you'll be alive in nine months, Rusty?

(Rusty coughs.)

Rusty: No, probably not.

Sally: So where are we going today?

Zombie: Don't pretend you weren't listening last night. We're going to the hospital.

Anna: The babies...the purest of the pure...released...oh yes...

Sally: I can't wait to get my hands around another baby neck. It's been too long.

Zombie: You'll have to wait a while longer. Anna and I will be taking care of the babies. You and Rusty will be standing guard. And there's to be no killing if anyone is about to catch us, by the way. A maiming should do.

Sally: What!?

Rusty: Sally, calm down...

Sally: No! What is this crap! Why does that bitch get to cut up the babies and I don't?

Anna: Set them free...they'll thank me in the next life...set them free...

Zombie: Because I'm the one giving the orders.

(Zombie leaves with Anna following.)

Rusty: Sally, you can't speak that way to Zombie.

Sally: I don't give a damn anymore. I'm killing her.

Rusty: Sally, no!

Sally: I'm slitting her throat then Zombie will be mine.

TO BE CONTINUED
 
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