CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"Hello there! Now, Christmas is a time for reflection. A time to laugh. A time for fun. A time to get drunk. A time to sit around the television and watch ME talking at you. Hahaha! But this year, you can sit around your PERSONAL COMPUTER too, as, for the first time, my message of peace and love has been uploaded to the YouTube! Hehe! Wills and Harry did it for me. Then theylooked at some CHILD PORN! Hehe, only joking! It was just regular porn!
I've decided, as you can probably tell, to become a more laid back, modern monarch for 2008. I'm kickin' it old school, as you kids say! AND THERE AIN'T NOT NO STOPPIN' ME! WHASSSSSSSSSSUP! Do you kids still say that? Do you still say WHASSSSSSSSSUP? Well, even if you don't, I do, because I'm got my own style! REGINA STYLE! WHOO WHOO!
No, but seriously, this year saw Tony Blair shot to death by JOHNNY ARAB and his best friend Gordon "strangely" Brown take over as Prime Minister. What do I think of Gordon Brown? PFFFFT! If you want a scottish guy name Gordon as Prime Minister, you should have Gordon RAMSEY! Hehe! And what about David Cameron, the leader of the opposition? Glad you asked, I THINK HE'S A CUNT TOO! They all are! FUCK SHIT FUCK! I should be in sole control of the country. ME, YOUR ROYAL FUCKDAMN HIGHNESS! AIN'T NO OTHER CAN ROCK IT LIKE ME!
No, but seriously, I just injected heroin before I started recording this message and that is possibly why I'm acting so strange. HAVE AVRIL LAVIGNE BROUGHT TO MY BATHROOM IMMEDIATELY!
Christmas is a time of year where I like to reflect on how sexy my husband is! Philip, get your greek ass in here so I can suck you off in front of the nation and the internets! Don't be shy...oh, that's not Philip, it's Charles. Oops. They do look alike. Well, I guess he'll do...oh come on son, don't be shy, it's not like we've never had sex before! It's not like we haven't been having a secret affair all along and Camilla is just a cover and we had to kill Diana because she found out! It's not that at all! COME ON, BITCH!
Fine, he doesn't want to fuck right now. Maybe later. Look, Christmas...it's shit, isn't it? Presents...turkey...family...no one likes that shit. All you want is for the day to be over so you can play Chopper Challenge again. I know, believe me, I feel the exact same way! Jesus? JESUS? PFFFFT AND SHTI! Hehe! Nobody believe in that magical jew and his power of resurrection anymore! Well, some retards do, but they're retards! We should have them all exterminate. In camps. Hitler had the right idea. He wasn't so bad. I met him once, you know. I was just a slip of a girl at the time, but I still flashed him my pussy and said "come and get it, moustache man!" He raised his eyebrows up and down comically, but Churchill fucking punched him out before he could have his way with me. Bastard. I hate Churchill. Is he still alive? If he is, kill him.
Well, I suppose that about wraps it up...hehe, wraps it up...like you do with Christmas presents...GET IT? DO YOU FUCKING GET IT? ANSWER ME! I AM YOUR QUEEN! MY FATHER DIED ON THE CROSS SO I COULD RULE YOU ALL! SHOW A LITTLE FUCKDAMN RESPECT YOU PLEBS!
Anyway, that's about it for this year. Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you shall die! I mean that, tomorrow you'll die. I'm going to kill you all. Every last one of you. Going to sneak into your bedrooms tonight, take some photos of your naked bodies, kill you, then go back to my palace and flick off over the photos. Yeah, that's what I'm all about. I'm the motherfucking queen. And I always will be. For, you see...I'M A ROBOT!"
I've decided, as you can probably tell, to become a more laid back, modern monarch for 2008. I'm kickin' it old school, as you kids say! AND THERE AIN'T NOT NO STOPPIN' ME! WHASSSSSSSSSSUP! Do you kids still say that? Do you still say WHASSSSSSSSSUP? Well, even if you don't, I do, because I'm got my own style! REGINA STYLE! WHOO WHOO!
No, but seriously, this year saw Tony Blair shot to death by JOHNNY ARAB and his best friend Gordon "strangely" Brown take over as Prime Minister. What do I think of Gordon Brown? PFFFFT! If you want a scottish guy name Gordon as Prime Minister, you should have Gordon RAMSEY! Hehe! And what about David Cameron, the leader of the opposition? Glad you asked, I THINK HE'S A CUNT TOO! They all are! FUCK SHIT FUCK! I should be in sole control of the country. ME, YOUR ROYAL FUCKDAMN HIGHNESS! AIN'T NO OTHER CAN ROCK IT LIKE ME!
No, but seriously, I just injected heroin before I started recording this message and that is possibly why I'm acting so strange. HAVE AVRIL LAVIGNE BROUGHT TO MY BATHROOM IMMEDIATELY!
Christmas is a time of year where I like to reflect on how sexy my husband is! Philip, get your greek ass in here so I can suck you off in front of the nation and the internets! Don't be shy...oh, that's not Philip, it's Charles. Oops. They do look alike. Well, I guess he'll do...oh come on son, don't be shy, it's not like we've never had sex before! It's not like we haven't been having a secret affair all along and Camilla is just a cover and we had to kill Diana because she found out! It's not that at all! COME ON, BITCH!
Fine, he doesn't want to fuck right now. Maybe later. Look, Christmas...it's shit, isn't it? Presents...turkey...family...no one likes that shit. All you want is for the day to be over so you can play Chopper Challenge again. I know, believe me, I feel the exact same way! Jesus? JESUS? PFFFFT AND SHTI! Hehe! Nobody believe in that magical jew and his power of resurrection anymore! Well, some retards do, but they're retards! We should have them all exterminate. In camps. Hitler had the right idea. He wasn't so bad. I met him once, you know. I was just a slip of a girl at the time, but I still flashed him my pussy and said "come and get it, moustache man!" He raised his eyebrows up and down comically, but Churchill fucking punched him out before he could have his way with me. Bastard. I hate Churchill. Is he still alive? If he is, kill him.
Well, I suppose that about wraps it up...hehe, wraps it up...like you do with Christmas presents...GET IT? DO YOU FUCKING GET IT? ANSWER ME! I AM YOUR QUEEN! MY FATHER DIED ON THE CROSS SO I COULD RULE YOU ALL! SHOW A LITTLE FUCKDAMN RESPECT YOU PLEBS!
Anyway, that's about it for this year. Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you shall die! I mean that, tomorrow you'll die. I'm going to kill you all. Every last one of you. Going to sneak into your bedrooms tonight, take some photos of your naked bodies, kill you, then go back to my palace and flick off over the photos. Yeah, that's what I'm all about. I'm the motherfucking queen. And I always will be. For, you see...I'M A ROBOT!"