The Remember Blazerboy Thread

[Tyrant]

We don't know - he said 'the less asked, the better', so I for one shall observe those wishes. WE WILL LIGHT CANDLES UNTIL HE RETURNS, AND HAVE ELTON JOHN SING FOR HIM.

Yes

 

[CaptainWacky]

Why did you decide to quote that post?

 

[Ishcabittle]

The motivations of our Messenger can sometimes be hard to discern. But that's cool.

 

[BlazerBoy]

I think he wants to light candles around my body right before they sacrifice me to the great and powerful Caligula one of thses nights down in the fraternity house.

 

[Ishcabittle]

Hey, have you seen that new Cthulu frat on campus? Nice guys, but they throw lousy parties. I went this last weekend to one of their "big bashes" and all they were doing was dancing around a bonfire out back and skinning people alive.

They only had one keg, and it was a little flat, that sucked, man. Not to mention, the one hot girl there was the one they were sacrificing to Cthulu. After that, it was a real sausage fest so I left.

 

[BlazerBoy]

I can handle sausage fests. Boy can I handle sausage...fests.

 

[Ishcabittle]

Italian sausage? Polish?

 

[BlazerBoy]

I prefer American (Light and dark meat doesn't matter) and Russian.

 

[Ishcabittle]

Russian sausage, that's lamb and vodka, right?

 

[FBI parte due]

Who is this "Blazerboy" again?

 

[CaptainWacky]

HE IS MANY THINGS TO MANY PEOPLE AND TO ONE SPECIAL GIRL.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

AND ANY SAUSAGES LUCKY ENOUGH TO CROSS HIS PATH.

 

[CaptainWacky]

OR CROSS HIS PALM WITH SILVER (I don't know.)

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

ALDONZA
I am not your lady!...
I am not any kind of a lady!
I was spawned in a ditch
By a mother who left me there,
Naked and cold and too hungry to cry;
I never blamed her.
I'm sure she left hoping
That I'd have the good sense to die!
Then, of course, there's my father...
I'm told that young ladies
Can point to their fathers
With maidenly pride;
Mine was some regiment
Here for an hour,
I can't even tell you which side!
So of course I became,
As befitted my delicate birth,
The most casual bride
Of the murdering scum of the earth!

DON QUIXOTE
And still thou art my lady.

ALDONZA
And still he torments me!
How should I be a lady?
For a lady has modest and maidenly airs,
And a virtue I somehow suspect that I lack;
It's hard to remember these maidenly airs
In a stable laid flat on your back!
Won't you look at me, look at me,
God, won't you look at me!
Look at the kitchen slut reeking with sweat!
Born on a dung heap to die on a dung heap,
A strumpet men use and forget!
If you feel that you see me
Not quite at my virginal best,
Cross my palm with a coin,
And I'll willingly show you the rest!

DON QUIXOTE
Never deny thou art Dulcinea.

ALDONZA
Take the clouds from your eyes
and see me as I really am!

You have shown me the sky,
But what good is the sky
To a creature who'll never
Do better than crawl?

Of all the cruel bastards
Who've badgered and battered me,
You are the cruelest of all!
Can't you see what your gentle
Insanities do to me?
Rob me of anger and give me despair!
Blows and abuse
I can take and give back again,
Tenderness I cannot bear!
So please torture me now
With your "Sweet Dulcineas" no more!
I am no one! I'm nothing!
I'm only Aldonza the whore!

DON QUIXOTE
Now and forever thou art my lady Dulcinea!
(Aldonza screams in despair and collapses.

 

[jack]

OMG MAN OF LA MANCHA

 

[CaptainWacky]

BlazerBoy update: HE'S STILL SEXY.

 

[Ishcabittle]

I like him.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I wonder if he's horny right now. I'm betting yes.

 

[Ishcabittle]

We should send Rip Torn to his house. That'll cure that right up.

 

[CaptainWacky]

WE SHOULD SEND DIRK BENEDICT.